April 2005 Archives

mint condition - livin' the luxury brown rb


A friend surprised me with this, and after seeing their live concert footage on BET Jazz, I was pleasantly surprised.

I still haven't listened to the actual album, so we can sample this one together.

Let me know what you think - I'll post my comments later. Oh, and you can click the album cover to buy.

 
OK, now that I've had a listen (actually, several) - me & my inner boho chick are seriously conflicted about this album. Click below to see why.

I found my sensuality between the cushions of my couch
Along with a quarter, a dime, a penny
Some cookie crumbs,
and a black HotWheels Firebird with flames on its hood...

© 2004 Sagacious Media

gotta get these out...

• the last of the 30-something b-days is coming up: May 20th. I wanna celebrate, but the dirt has drained my pockets.


• dayum, did this dude that's trying to get at me just say he has SIX kids???!!!


• hammy is parroting, and I said the "C" word. After the trip to the bar last weekend, I'm sure that as soon as DFACS is done with the Payne kids' parents, they're gonna come look for me.


• best advice I've gotten in a sec: you don't have to 'splain anything to me, baby - as long as you're handlin your biz. Do what you gotta do. Thank You! - you dayum skippy


• Hammy, did you put my fave black comfy Enzo's in the Twilight Zone? And can you get them back, please?!


• Geek recognizes geek: cute Internet cop admires my Cruzer necklace, as I smile...and admire his wedding ring. dayum. But the flash drive is the ultimate in geek chic, and goes with everything.


• I still say "word" and "peace". My slang is stuck in 1997, somebody come get me unstuck, please!

Ok, yeah...I'm blogstipated again. I've got about 4 radioblogs to catch up on this weekend, and more anti-dating rants. In the meantime a quick quiz:

Which Girlfriend are You?

Hm…Joan. I can feel her on the angry white woman suits, and the inability to get a man to settle down. And I’d trade some of my chest/booty for her hair. But she can keep William – UGH!

Another archived post - this was originally posted October 22nd, 2004, but still relevant if you wanna know more about me:

1. I have nappy hair, which I have a love/hate relationship with.


2. I'm obsessed with shoes. Seriously obsessed.


3. I'm a very sensual person. That does NOT mean that you can get in.


4. I overanalyze everything.


5. I hate the smell of seafood, so I only eat seafood I can't smell.


6. I'm an overly agressive driver. I cruise at 90mph, tailgate, cut people off, flash my brights, and suffer from traffic induced Turrette's syndrome. I'm working on this.


7. When I sing in my car to offset the road rage, I think I sound like E. Badu, Jill Scott & Mary J. all rolled into one.


8. I think every woman has a flower that reflects their personality. Mine is a dragonlily.


9. Honesty and integrity are very important to me - sometimes I'm so honest, it works to my detriment. I will never change that, regardless.


10. I'm addicted to reality TV.


11. When I was 5, I wanted to be white, with blonde hair, and blue eyes. A 5 yr old italian neighbor of mine burst that bubble, and introduced me to the "N" word.


12. I didn't become "black" until I was 11.


13. I still think Peter Frampton was hot.


14. My father drowned when I was 11. We were very close.


15. My mother died 2 weeks after September 11th, 2001. We weren't very close.


16. I loved both my parents, but I must say - I am my mothers child. We were too much alike, two Strong, Independent Black Woman. Which is why we didn't get along.


17. I miss being my daddy's "girl". But I really miss my mom. I really do.


18. Brown Sugar is one of my favorite movies of all time, along with Love Jones, The Best Man, et al.


19. I may someday be a writer, for many reasons, but one of which is::


20. I believe us black folks have more stories than Soul Plane, and Friday After Next belie.


21. I'm a registered Democrat, but I will vote/have voted for Republicans.


22. I refuse to believe that any "party" has my best interests at heart.


23. I think angels walk among us. I also think anyone, at any time, can be called upon to fulfill the role of "angel" in someone else's life.


24. I am one of them colored girls, who considered suicide. And yes, the rainbow is enuff.


25. I am very intelligent.


26. I hate the fact that most intelligent people sacrifice their compassion to highlight their intelligence.


27. I think good manners are important.


28. I love M.A.C and Bobbi Brown cosmetics.


29. I prefer light-colored liquor.


30. I think bling is real 1986 - we shoulda left that trend where it was when we couldn't afford it.


31. I don't care if black people date interracially. However, I personally prefer a brother who personally prefers someone who looks like me.


32. I don't think that social policy will ever change the ills (racism, classism, elitism) that have existed within our culture since it's inception.


33. I wish my people would harness their economic power.


34. My lips are shaped like a heart, and the top lip has a nice divot.


35. I love to dance:: Chicago step, salsa, merengue, er breakdance shake my booty.


36. I have a lot of booty to shake.


37. I need to lose weight. I know I need to lose weight.


38. I love alla me, including the weight I need to lose.


39. I aspire to teach, to reach, to mentor, to open a door. I want to leave a mark on this world.


40. I love steaks, medium rare. Make mine bloody, thank you very much.


41. I have two brothers, one whole & one half, that I do not know.


42. I am a very sensitive person.


43. I find it extremely difficult to share things about myself.
44. I have dismissed more people from my life lately than I have let in.


45. My most recent "exes" and my ex-best friend all agree: I can be very dismissive. If I even think you're shady, you'll get cut faster than you can say "I'm sorry"


46. I love music, particularly "neo-soul" and have a constant soundtrack in my head.


47. I like frou-frou coffee, and the adult milkshakes they serve at Starbucks.


48. I don't like red roses, because I think they take little imagination, and are too easily accessible.


49. I was in an abusive relationship.


50. The person who abused me gave me red roses all the time.


51. I've never been married.


52. I would like to be married.


53. I could drive from NY to CA with no problems, as long as I have a map.


54. I have driven 1000+ by myself, only stopping for gas.


55. The last time I did this, I hallucinated a Klansman, driving a black hearse, wearing glasses over his hood, driving next to me. I vowed not to do it again.


56. I think everyone has issues.


57. I talk to myself. Sometimes, that's the only intelligent person I can find to have a conversation with.


58. I am a computer geek.


59. I also used to want to be a fashion designer.


60. I like wearing fashionable clothing.


61. I have also been known to wear a flash drive/mini-disk as a fashion accessory.


62. I make computer geeks look GOOD.


63. I am a former teenage welfare mom.


64. I have two baby-daddies, and they are both uninterested in their children.


65. I have a grown daughter, who moved out last year, that I miss terribly.


66. I am the parent of a disabled child.


67. My sweet, loving son saved my life.


68. Sometimes, I feel ill-equipped to be his mother.


69. I never intended to become a single parent. Twice.


70. Being a single parent is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.


71. I have used/abused drugs & alcohol.


72. In another life, I sold drugs to finance my habit.


73. I used to date street pharmacists exclusively.


74. I hope the statute of limitations has expired on my stint as a street pharmacist.


75. When Ms. Jackson and I were young, we looked alike - back in the Penny on Good Times days.


76. I sometimes lust for an extreme makeover so we can look alike again.


77. I am more witty & sarcastic than funny. And I love that about myself.


78. I don't do regret or shame. At least I try hard not to.


79. I really believe: shame/regret is a useless emotion, forcing us to dwell on things we can never change. Learn the lesson, and keep moving.


80. My friends say I have overachiever in me.


81. I am very driven.


82. I am not always very focused (they are SO not the same thing).


83. I am a pack-rat, from a long line of pack-rats.


84. I love hip-hop music, and will until I die.


85. I hate gangsta rap, Master P., all No Limit artists, and all this "bling-bling" bullshit.


86. I write poetry, mainly because (sometimes) poetry allows me to breath.


87. I wish I had the balls to recite my poetry.


88. I think every woman should exercise their right to masturbate, buy sex toys, and own porn. I have ;-)


89. I sometimes drift off asleep as I'm typing.


90. Within the last 2 years, I've had three surgeries. Two for fibroids - a Hysteroscopy and a Myomectomy (see Intracavitary Myoma and Submucous Myomas) and one to remove my gallbladder. I'm trying to spend the next 2 years w/out having any organs removed.


91. My doctor wanted/still wants me to have a hysterectomy, because of the fibroids.


92. I still have one fibroid.


93. I have wicked, wicked pms, possibly thanks to the remaining fibroid. However, we've come to an agreement - it stops bleeding like crazy (which had my Dr. really concerned) and I give it a home, for now. I want to keep my uterus.


94. I once (only once) spent three days in jail. For a non-street-pharmacist related charge.


95. There is nothing remotely comfortable, luxurious, plush, or desirable about jail. It is dehumanizing, despite what anyone may say or show in the media. And the only thing I see wasteful (in terms of tax dollars) about it is the bureaucracy. Which the inmates have little to do with.


96. I have never been in prison, so I can't speak to that.


97. My friends also say I am boughetto or boughetti - bourgeoisie and ghetto. Strangely, I'm ok with that.


98. My friends came up with that 2 years ago - way before that Ali & Murphy Lee song.


99. My friends are the closest thing I have to family. And they have all been dropped on their heads, IMHO.


100. I love my friends, dearly. They hold me down, keep me grounded and elevated, at the same time. And mostly I love them because they know and embrace the following::


101. I am way too complicated to be described by 100 things.

Whew...that was tougher/easier than I thought.

• to spend time in a loveless relationship...
• to sweat the small stuff...
• to not bang your head...
• to miss a opportunity to tickle your kids...
• to not stop and smell the roses...
• to entertain drama...
• to work anywhere that makes you miserable...
• to pass up an invite to see your favorite artist sing live...
• to endure abuse...
• to forgo that day at the spa...
• to not show someone you really love that you really appreciate them...
• to spread hate & intolerance...
• to not rub noses with your significant/insignificant other...
• to skip an opportunity to make wild passionate love under the stars...
• to not smile, uncontrollably...

Bakers Dozen c/o KB via ej.

1. Met a group of very cool Atlanta bloggers. Shouts to all of y'all, 'specially BrownShuga for putting up with me, fave & ej's multiple phone calls.


2. hammy's first trip to a house of spirits. I'm sure I've scarred him for life, despite the mgr's assurances that "people bring their kids all the time...". Thankfully, me & the hamster's party-crashing the blogger meet-up phases them not. they're so nice!


3. Visited chuck in the land of broken games. Hammy's 10th birthday, and he spent it looking up some mouse's shirt. oh my! But he did have a dayum good time doing it.


4. However, now I understand my definition of hell: being locked in a roomful of other people's bad a$$ children, who are all hopped up on Soft Drinks with parents no where to be found, bouncing off the walls and my being unable to apply some physical discipline. This is why Chuck E. serves beer.


5. thechaos wants ice cream cake, hammy wants ice cream cake - who am I to deprive my babies from ice cream cake?


6. after-ice cream cake thoughts: my diet & exercise program officially starts monday.


7. Another nappy experiment - kitchen chemistry & curly pudding. Details & pics to follow.


8. rob the crates at Overstock.com for $ dvd's AND cd's - even tapes for Hammy. Do I smell a radio.blog coming on?


9. try to finish my reading in one of my classes - fall asleep no less than 6 times. those 150 pgs are still waiting on me...


10. 2 more exec summaries and a presentation later - I'm wondering why my boho a$$ is in an MBA program.


11. studybreak = bicycle lessons with hammy. in the arctic Atlanta air...


12. ...hey wait - who da hell turned off the heat?

finals are coming...the posts may be sparse...but I'm still here... ;-)

I want so badly to put this thing down
this longing
that is at once enticing, and abhorrent
it brings me nervous butterflies & tears as its offerings
and seemingly asks only for my fealty in return

© 2004 ~ Sagacious Media

I've talked previously about my son's condition. And I tend not to write about it much, because frankly - it's daunting. Overwhelming. The most difficult, rewarding and loving thing I've ever done or can ever do, and I worry overmuch if I'm getting it right...

But Wanda Smith from V103 (a very popular Atlanta radio station) adopted my son's childcare center, and has donated the station's efforts to raise money to keep the center from closing. MARDS - Metro Atlanta Respite and Development Services Center provides daycare, afterschool care and respite care for children with disabilities, as well as normal children. The center has struggled financially. They've needed to raise money for a while, and V103 helped them raise $202,000, which is HUGE. MAJOR. And I'm eternally grateful for that - Wanda Smith is a blessing for raising awareness, and bringing all these people and resources to MARDS.

I'm also thanful that the staff at MARDS: Lisa Conley, Mrs. Anne Philips, Joyce, Mrs. Betty and all the other staff members are so dedicated to providing these services for these children. And let me say this - I've listened to the stories of the other parents all week, and I know the kids there, like Hasani, and Michael. Watching them this week, seeing the reactions of the parents, the kids and the staff to this outpouring of support from the community - it's also overwhelming. Words can barely express it, truly...

I just wanted to shout them both out, and maybe put the seed in your mind. MARDS is still there, you can visit, donate in person or on their website, give them your time, your resources, your thoughts, your prayers. And thank Wanda, Frank and the V103 Morning Show for all their efforts. Even if I have Hammy handled (and you know for the most part, I do), I know Hasani needs MARDS, and so does Michael, and Tesha, and Brittney...

This is from the archives - from the old blog. But it's related to the fundraiser I'm about to post about, and so you'll understand his condition, and what the fundraiser is about - my son, Hammy:

I've hesitated to write about Hammy (not his real name), because frankly I doubted that I could do him justice. My son is so many things, that it's hard to even begin to describe him.

He is pure, uncomplicated, unsullied and unadulterated joy. He's more intelligent than I ever imagined he'd be. His kisses are only slightly sweeter than his bear hugs, and he's affectionate with just about everyone he comes across, even in passing. His simple smile, wave and friendly "hey, how you doing?" tends to light up the room wherever he goes, inspiring even the most hard-hearted, grizzled geezers in Publix, to beam back "Hey little man, how are you?". Women fawn over him, gushing "oooo, he's so cute!" at his batting eyelashes, and curly hair.

And my son, Hammy, has Rubinstein-Taybi syndrome. The quick & dirty is this: he's got developmental delays. The un-pc version is that he's moderately retarded, and the pc version is that he's handicapable. Whatever. I told a parent of another child who has delays - I don't really care how they classify my son, if it gets him the help he needs.

And I could tell y'all how hard it's been - oh it's been hard, but that wouldn't capture all that Hammy is either. I cried for 3 days straight when he was finally diagnosed at 2 years old. I've cried many times after that - thru MRI's, CAT-Scans, GI studies and 8-hour specialist visits, thru heart & lung monitors and the probable possiblity of SIDS, thru X-Rays, a 1/2 dozen pneumonias, 3 surgeries, and a broken arm. I cried because I thought he'd never walk, never talk, and never play t-ball. And I cried when he finally ran (never did toddle) and said "mama" instead of babbling. And he's only 9 yrs old. I (in my arrogant sorrow), questioned God's motives, and asked why we - he and I had to be punished, us both being innocents.

LMAO - I can laugh about that now.

See, my son saved my life. Figuratively, because I got my life together to make things better for both of us. Otherwise, my hot (and much narrower) a$$ would probably still be in the club 2-3X/week. Literally, because were it not for him, his father and I probably would've killed each other. Or I would've killed myself.

So, how do I capture Hammy? People ask me how's he doing, and I say fine (that's the answer they're looking for) but what I really want to say is "He's doing great. He's starting to form full sentences, he can count to 30, he can get himself 75% dressed without my assistance, he's been tracing his hands and drawing circles and squares (on walls - but it's so hard for me to punish him since I'm so happy that he's drawing) and while he can't tie his shoes, spell and isnt fully potty-trained, I'm really, REALLY proud of him". But I know they won't get that.

But I can tell you the most beautiful bedtime prayer I ever heard.

I put Hammy in the bed one night recently, tucked him in, turned off the light, and started to pick up his toys in the dark. And as I picked up the toys in the dark, I heard him softly say: "Good night, sun. Good night, sky. Good night, moon. Good night, stars. Good night, outside. Good night, blue. Good night, mommy"

Good night, Hammy. I love you.

"I love you too, Mommy"

I'd attributed this foolishness previously to a full moon, but several moons have passed, and these fools are still tripping. So, now I'm guessing the biological clock has kicked in. Yeah, I know - and no, it ain't just women that are feeling it. Apparently, the brothers are feeling the need to plant seeds, so they're blowing me up with lunacy. Or they're just nucking futs. Either way, they need rules, and it's my civic duty to provide 'em.

• the anti-booty call, call: After 10PM, before 9AM - if you ain't delivering beef sausage, you need to hang up before you hit that 7th digit. That whole: "I just called to give you that present you wanted; I just called to hear your voice; I just called to see what you were doing..." jazz is about original as Kenny G. track.


• never-never-never drink and dial: there is nothing more annoyingly pathetic than being old, dumb and drunk. <caller in throaty Floaters voice > er, hi yeah...this is Larry...< long pause as caller temporarily loses consciousness > uh yer...and I'm a Cancer < caller wipes slobber off receiver > and uh yeah... fsjkwugas *#$^% fjjlas < I don't know what the hell that was > ...and when you get this message, call.. < beep: end of message>


• riffing with a ghost: Maybe someone could break this down for me, since this one has me boggled. Why would you ever argue, via text messages, emails and voicemails, with someone you are interested in, but have NeVeR met? an example: if you don't want to talk to me, you could just say so. This is the 21st century equivalent of a middle-school note, asking "Do you like me? check no, yes or maybe" - except we ain't in middle school so the cuteness has been gone. for. friggin. decades.


• cellphone percussion bombs: <sigh> we are grown folks, holding down jobs, with responsibilities. so, u call, leave a message, hang up, then call back. r.e.p.e.a.t.e.d.l.y. what, suddenly my conf. call, seminar, class, kids, customer will magically dissipate into a puff of smoke, allowing me to take YOUR important "hey, so what are you wearing?" call? Even on vibrate, it's not cool to blow me up like this - GTFOH -and go knit a scarf or something.


• pseudo-intimacy: so we chatted incessantly, emailed back & forth, and held late-night phone sessions professing our intense like. That SO does not mean you can bring your hot a$$ over my house, prop your nasty size 12's on my coffee table, and chill like we've been married for 15 years.


• romance spam: hell naw, you can not send me an email saying "baby, I really like you... I enjoyed talking to you... and I really want to see you again" and then CC three other females you're trying to get at!!! WTF?! The only appropriate response - Reply All with: "I really had a good time too, and I finally heard from the doctor...that little infection you gave me finally cleared up, and the cooch is no longer oozing green slime, so we can have sex again, isn't that cool?"

Oh, I got more...I'm just sleepy as hell. Point is: just because my clock went off some years back doesn't mean the rules just went out the dayum window. I just want to date for FUN. At this rate, that celibacy task (see 101 list) is getting easier...and easier...and..

excuse me, but i was wondering if
you'd let my humanity, touch your humanity
if we could meet and let our souls intertwine
for one brief, blisteringly shining moment
may i, let down my guard, and reveal my essence
will you, in turn, show me, why you smile

© 2004 Sagacious Media

Note to the non-nappy, or folks wondering what the big deal is:   Hair Matters.

I went natural with the intention to not go natural. Let me 'splain.

I am one of "those" women - the kind that seems to efforlessly grow hair without a lot of thought/effort. The kind that seems to wear a pixie cut one year, and then a shoulder-length wrap the next. I come from a line of "those" women, you know...the kind that have (ahem) "good hair". My aunts, cousins, mom and grandma all had various states of curly, wavy and nappy hair, and most prided themselves on their hairdo. Our hair was our crowning glory, some tenous link to the "Indian" in our heritage - except that no one could tell me which tribe.

Without going over the whole history of my napps, a brief synopsis; I started going to the hairdresser to get my hair pressed when I was 4, had bra-length hair when I was 11, got my first perm when I was 13. The important thing to note: I had no clue how to take care of my own hair. And was completely uncomfortable with my napps. Perming-my-hair-at-the-first-sign-of-nappy-roots-uncomfortable, which was roughly every 4 weeks.

Skip ahead to 1997-1999: After years of abuse (color on top of perm, perming too often, and using alcohol & heat on it daily) combined with stress (you read the FL chronicles, right?) and a healthy dose of Depo-Provera I had a bald spot, breakage, and literally - straw.

My mother went partially & permanently bald at age 35, from some combination of permanent haircolor, and relaxer.

I cried when I looked in the mirror, longing for my 11-year old, bra-length hair. I wore falls, as expensive as my limited budget allowed (think Star Jones). I plotted, connived, straw set, spent endless dollars - anything to cover up my hair loss.

I got microbraids to give me length, which was the deathknell for my perm. I'd allowed the braider to put knots in my micros, after she assured me none of my hair was in the knots. HUGE mistake - but one that freed me. Removing the braids also removed more of my permed hair, revealing tons of nappy natural roots, with frayed permed ends.

Thoughts of my bra-length hair still plagued me, and it finally hit me. When I was 11, my hair was pressed occasionally, but mostly kept in pony tails. Long, nappy braids. My family, for the most part, either spent tons at the salon to avoid damage, or were natural also. So, I went natural, thinking I'd grow my hair out enough to "do something with it", and then press on a regular basis.

Well, go natural it was. I found a local salon, Taliah Waajid's to get it cut, and get an introductory education, since I still didn't know what to do with it. The result"

I liked it, but wasn't in love with it. My mother bought me plaid shirts and Doc Martens, convinced I was gay. I overcompensated with MAC, fake nails and Dendera eyebrows. However, this was circa Jill Scott, India.Arie, Lauryn and Erykah, so it was trendy. I'd learn to love it.

And then I found Nappturality. And my real hair-education began. That's when I learned that Hair Matters, and that black women's issues with hair are deeply ingrained, longstanding and P.R.O.F.I.T.A.B.L.E. That's where I began to learn: about the self-hate that underlies our images in the media, that most black haircare companies are owned by beauty conglomerates that (similar to pharmaceutical companies) profit more by making us continuously "fix" problems that they help cause, that people can get still get fired for having nappy hair, even in 2002, and that's where I learned to groom, style, nurture, cultivate and love my nappy hair.

< stepping off soap box > whew, it's been a long road, y'all. Meanwhile, here I am, still fighting my inner-straight-hair-demon. Tomorrow, I'm getting my napps cut, again - which I damaged (flat-ironed) in an attempt at conformity. What was I thinking? My hair wasn't having it, and neither am I. Nothing against, Sanaa, Jada, Latifah (love their straight - allegedly natural hair) but I want, no I NEED my super-nappy, EMPOWERING, Angela Davis, Big Ass Afro back.

The result:


Yeah, I know - it's not a fro. There's always tomorrow.

I'm swimming in an Olympic-size turquoise pool, lanes demarcated by white bubbles on the pool floor. My arms cut sharp strokes through the 70° waters. I'm swimming swiftly, making underwater turns, and only inhaling/exhaling every other stroke. I'm conscious of my time, sensing that I'm making better time than I did in my last swim session. I stop and stand, lifting and shaking my curly head sharply as it comes out of the water. I inhale sharply. I'm alone.

My coworker calls out to me, but I can't hear what she's saying. The landscape is changing. Million dollar houses give way to abandoned duplexes, peeling paint showing their age. Cultivated grass becomes arid dirt, and the houses become sparer. I stop, wondering where my car is. I look up at one duplex, blue as the sky, blue as the water. White trim still sharp against the blue, and peeling paint belying the lives it once held. Flanked by two more similar small duplexes, another facing it across the street, and surrounded by empty lots. "Where is my car?" I think, as something beige blows by me on the street. These houses are houses in Buffalo, I know that instinctively, because they don't build two-story, two-family duplexes in Atlanta. Why am I here?

I wake up, sharp pains in my stomach and head. It's definitely not the Oxycodone, or anything I ate. I rarely remember my dreams, can't recall any of them for at least the last 4 years. What does this mean? I've never been "sinewy", haven't swam in about 8 years. All I know is that writing this cleared the confusion, and made the pain in my stomach subside. I'm back.

My surgery is scheduled tomorrow morning, and since I've been busy getting ready, I've been too busy to think about anything but the surgery. Say a prayer for me, and I'll be back soon. Wish me health ;-)

Oh it's been a whiiiiiillllleeee. Oops. I moved the entire 101 over from the old blog, but this is just the relevant stuff, for those who don't want to revisit the list.

UPDATES::
#3 - get >6 hours of sleep:: sleep is not overrated. Pretty much nailed this one in Feb, but I'm making it a priority from now on. 6 hours at a min, and really shooting for 8. Ahhhhh. And yes, this is pretty much how I nailed #64...lol.
#10 - practice celibacy:: is easier done than said. And can I just say that I'm happy to abstain now? Cleared my head so I can see, I have been putting up with BS for so long, I was really thinking BS had become the norm. You get what you ask for.
#19 - repair relations w/sperm donor:: is a complete a$$, but I'm determined to make this one happen. Maybe really, really late in the 1001 days?
#57 and #58 - credit card payoffs: paid off ALL my credit cards, and one dept. store card. I have one dept. store card left, and I'm paying that off next month. Reducing my personal debt = elation.
#63 - forthrightly anti-phony:: this is actually easier done than said. :-)
#64 - kill the evil bytch within:: once I nailed #63, #64 was a breeze.

A lot of the others are literally works in progress. However I gotta come clean - I haven't made any progress in the working-out/weight-loss area. I swear in my head I am too dayum fine to be this friggin big, but I haven't gotten motivated enough to really do something about it. That's my first after-surgery priority.

See the list, below:
101 tasks in 1001 days

prologue: I'm sitting at my desk, coding. My hair, nappy as ever, is currently in two-strand twists. Previously, I'd had it rollerset, and it appeared to have been "straightened", even though it wasn't.

So, a coworker walks by...
coworker: aw, sucky-sucky now...I see you went back to your nappy roots..
me: yeah, for this week
he goes to talk to my teammate, who heard this whole exchange
teammate: what does she mean by this week?
coworker, still walking: well, you know black people have issues with they hair in the summertime...the heat ain't exactly forgiving...(trails off)

Now, I'm sure you're thinking: da hell? I know you went off, right?
No, I didn't - it frankly wasn't worth my time. I just found it interesting, mostly because of the actors in this little set. The commenting coworker is (of course) black - because the average white person probably wouldn't have felt empowered enough to go near that comment. The curious teammate is (of course) white, because the summertime explanation probably wouldn't have been necessary for the average black person (well, then again maybe).

But what "got" me (yes, there is a point)...

I have both available. If you're interested in either, just .

Also, if you have Yahoo 360 invites, there's a site for exchanging Yahoo 360 invites: 360invites.com.

Start date: January 1, 2005.

Aight, I've seen this on Karsh's page, and then EJ & I talked about it. Sounds more painful AND rewarding than a New Year's resolution, and who am I to pass up rewarding pain?
The Mission: Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.

The Criteria: Tasks must be specific (i.e. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (i.e. represent some amount of work on my part).

Note: My End Date is September 29, 2007, and I intend to update this list monthly did I say monthly? I really meant periodically, lol.

1. lose 10.1 lbs by Feb 1 2005 * updated 2/6/05 and lose 101 lbs by the end of the 1001 days.


2. drink a gallon of water a day.


3. get at least 6 hours of sleep a night, every night for 30 days* updated 4/8/05


4. get my belly pierced


5. get my GPA above 3.5.


6. exercise, 3X/week. for 2 months.


7. take a vacation, sans resident vagrants


8. get a passport, and a stamp in it


9. practice punctuality for 30 days* updated 10/11/05


10. practice celibacy until I get into a serious relationship.* updated 4/8/05


11. foster & forge relationships with normal women* updated 10/11/05


12. buy a house


13. buy a dog. after i buy the house.


14. host a clothes swap* updated 10/11/05


15. take my new, tagged clothes to the consignment shop* updated 10/11/05


16. get my own personal closet space down to 1 walk-in closet, incl. shoes


17. get everyone else's shyt out of my house.


18. get Hammy into a better after-school program


19. workout some kind of visitation schedule with Hammy's sperm donor.* updated 10/11/05


20. go fishing on a fishing boat


21. end this JC business once and for all.


22. send thank you's to: all my godmothers: real, fake & spiritual


23. design AND sew myself one fabulous, to die for outfit


24. re-learn to knit & crochet. make one wearable item for someone else


25. get porcelain veneers for my front teeth. and some whitening. and caps.


26. emote my inner diva with: full makeup, "done" hair, and fake eyelashes.


27. contribute to my 401K plan * updated 2/6/05


28. take advantage of the company discounted stock purchase plan * updated 2/6/05


29. diversify my portfolio


30. create a budget every month - and stick to it


31. plan all my purchases, even the so-called 'impulse' buys


32. brownbag my lunch for 30 days straight * updated 2/6/05


33. take a trip to NY


34. mend the ties that bind my family to the sperm donor's family * updated 2/6/05


35. reestablish relationships with the:PR Princess, orig. Nerd & G-hetto family


36. spend < 1 hr daily farting around on the web, outside of work & school related stuff.* updated 10/11/05


37. register my own friggin domain * updated 2/6/05


38. quit the safe, stable full-time gig, and do some risky, yet more profitable consulting work


39. routinely volunteer 8 hrs/month to various worthy causes


40. get a tribal tattoo. from my tribe. and know exactly what it means.


41. figure out what tribe I'm from, if I even have one.


42. have semi-regular (bimonthly) dinner parties, and invite my closest friends


43. buy some real dinnerware & flatware that I like


44. take a series of colonics & cleanse my colon (I know, TMI)


45. purge myself of my sugar & chocolate addictions* updated 10/11/05


46. take up a healthy vice, like social drinking


47. make a hair commitment, either nappy or non-nappy, and stick with it. * updated 2/6/05


48. get in touch with the brother that I don't know


49. visit the remnants of family I have left


50. fulfill my romantic ballgown, chignon & waltzing in moonlight fantasy.


51. raise my performance eval. score at the current gig by at least 10% w/in 1 year.* updated 10/11/05


52. familiarize myself with wines & their proper use


53. practice diversity at work


54. learn the art of networking from either EJ or E (the masters)


55. obtain a big screen tv (notice I didn't say buy...)


56. wear a 2-piece swimsuit


57. pay off 1 department store charge, and 1 credit card* udpated 4/8/05


58. get the other cards below 40% of their available credit limit* udpated 4/8/05


59. go 7 days without any road rage incidents: no tailgating, flashing my brights, cutting people off, or driving > 80MPH. And get rid of the traffic-induced Turrette's syndrome - I'm inadvertently teaching Hammy how to curse


60. teach Hammy to ride a bike


61. get Hammy out of any form of Pull-up, Goodnight or training pants


62. practice random acts of kindness routinely


63. be more forthrightly honest - I must either keep phonies outta the inner circle, or keep it real.* udpated 4/8/05


64. purge the evil bytch from my heart. Yes, this is measurable and defined.* udpated 4/8/05


65. have my apartment repainted.


66. incorporate monthly trips to bath & body works CVS (I can find decent knock offs) into the budget


67. buy a new hard drive


68. organize & backup all my music files


69. learn to play golf


70. take a voice lesson, and put my inner Jill Scott to rest


71. nurture houseplants at home, not just at work


72. take a dip in a jacuzzi


73. get over my aversion to seafood


74. give up pork completely


75. minmize other meats to once a day, then 2-3X/week, then occasionally


76. normalize my iron & cholesterol levels thru nutrition, no supplements


77. get rid of my home phone, retaining my high-speed access & cell.


78. gather my home office space


79. listen to another genre of music foreign to me, like bluegrass, world music, country, etc.


80. expand my music library to really embrace hip-hop, r&b, and house.


81. learn to merengue, and take my final in a lowcut salsa dress


82. use the Twinz to solicit free drinks at Hairston's or the Tanqueray


83. learn Spanish via instructional audio tapes


84. attend just 1 nat'l Blk-focused vacation event:Black Ski Summit, Essence Festival, etc.


85. take a continuing ed. photography class, blow up the best result & hang it in my house


86. regain my dancer's grace - take ballet lessons, again


87. find one relatively challenging but low impact home improvement project, and finish it, sans testosterone


88. institute self stress-relieving techniques for 30 days


89. take piano lessons


90. learn to play the guitar


91. clip coupons & shop sales for everyday items & groceries for 3 months


92. learn to play spades confidently


93. sip mint juleps or mojitos on my porch


94. make love on a beach at the edge of an ocean


95. get a second job or sideline hustle


96. take a gambling trip


97. figure out a way to get my domain/blog to make money* updated 10/11/05


98. participate in the political campaign for a candidate I truly believe in


99. attend a ball


100. go horseback riding


101. learn to water ski

Yes, I know it's not done, but I'm starting regardless, and I'll add the other 70+ shortly...

Done! Now to get it started... *out*

101 in 1001 days