sagaciously is...

Inspired by the 10 Things I Love meme (wait, have I done that one yet? hm...I'll get back to that), and some comments on NP.com about Hot Ghetto Mess. Without any further ado:

1. The Two Brothers Commercials:: I ain't even apologizing for my dislike of this one. Everytime one of these comes on TV, I cringe. I mean, I hate to be classist & egregious, but this is some str8 coonage. It's bad enough that they mimic some well-known & loved (and some not-so-loved) black television shows & movies; but then they attempt parody, and do it INCREDIBLY BADLY. It's not amusing, it's not "cute", it's just G-hetto as hell. Frankly, it ain't exactly inspiring trust in these two's ability to make a biz decision. If that were the case, they'd just stop!
2. Fake naturals:: This is an admitted pet-peeve of mine. But really, There was a brief & shining moment when nappy headed folks were prominent in commercials - some Cingular commercials, the Rubber Band man for Office Max, even Mickey D's late night, etc. Nappy was momentarily trendy. Then, haircare companies got wise, and started selling pseudo-naps in bulk. Next thing you know, everyone has "natural hair" - like the Pantene yoga chick, whose hair is obviously relaxed and reset to look "natural". And let's not even talk about all the celebrities with "natural" hair, which is actually 14" Nappen-Yakki from the Korean store. Sheesh.
3. Bling:: I saw a picture on HGM.com of a brotha wearing a gold rim on his necklace. No, that isn't a typo - it was literally a 18" spinner on a heavy chain. Enough is enough. Can someone put an end to this madness?
4. Reality shows:: Yes, I'm a former fan, but I'm done. The premises for these shows are getting more implausible daily, as Producers run out of ideas. The Cut? Miami Ink? The Next Food Network Star? Hell's Kitchen? Hogan Knows Best? Ok, here's my premise:: you get 12 people - 6 average folks, and 6 has been stars, and lock them in an asylum, in a padded white cell with no food or water for 12 weeks. Then, you assign some angry Frenchman to be their resident intern - who screams French vulgarities at them at every opportunity. In order for them to eat, drink or leave the cell, they either have to perform some sort of talent (singing, dancing) or have to perform a dangerous stunt. The audience votes on the performance during the show, and the winner gets to leave the cell. At the end of the series, the least talented person is left to go insane in that cell. We'll call it "Les Très Miserables". I think that will work.
5. Video-hoochies gone legit:: So, I'm talking to E, and mid-sentence he goes silent. Me: "Yo are you there?" Him: "Um yeah - I'm watching BET - Buffie the Body is on..." And got silent again. I had to end the call! Between this no-talking chick (really - some folks just need to stick to their specialty and be quiet) and Karrine Steffans - they really need to go sit down somewhere. It's one thing to get rich/famous/notorious for being a video ho. It's a whole other thing to try and go "legit" from this. Stop the madness - this shyt is real circa 1987 - Mayflower Madam.
6. What's wrong with black women & why they can't get a man?:: Oh I'm too SICK of this SHYT. It would be one thing if anyone offered some quantifiable facts that led to some resolutions or solutions regarding the dysfunction in AA relationships. But no - ever since that dayum Newsweek article, and the following Essence response appeared - circa March 2003-ish - pundits are offering their "experiences" and theorizing on what the problem is, and how to solve it. Problem is - they're recycling the original statistics/theories cited in both articles. If you're not offering any new information, and at the root of your theory - you're just taking black women to task - why bother? Yes, Virgina - there is a problem - but the problem is much bigger than just the sista's attitudes. I feel another post coming on...
7. The DL:: I can empathize with Terry. I can roll my eyes at Star's denial. I can shake my head, roll my neck and tsk-tsk at the behaviors brought to light by J. L. King. But at the end of the day - these issues aren't new. At the heart of this, you have to get to know your spouse, before you jump into a relationship. You have to use protection, when you have sex. And you even have to protect yourself in your marriage, if your spouse is cheating. Whether the man is gay, bi, try or any other kind of -sexual ain't got shyt to do with it. If he's not faithful, you're at risk of so many things, including AIDS - gay or not. So enough already - the hysteria's been overblown, everyone's gotten their 15 minutes of fame, and chunks of cheese. Can we move on to the real problems here - the disloyalty, deception and dysfunction, instead of the DL? And take all of our dirty laundry out of The Closet?
8. Passive-Aggressive Men:: I like you, but I'm a good man, so I know you won't like me. Oh, you do like me? Then there's something wrong with you. Let me pick you apart, until I figure out exactly what that thing is. Oh wait, I wasn't really trying to pick you apart, I was just joking - trying to get to know you. Oh, so now you don't like me? See, I told you, you wouldn't like me. GTFOHWTBS.
9. Moving:: New project, new boss, new team, new desk. All a pain in da a$$. And despite me looking forward to theSlab (read: new house), the packing, cleaning, moving, unpacking is daunting. I've started (a lil) already, and I ain't looking forward to it.
10. Hotlanta weather/traffic:: Is this not the rainiest summer we've had in years? Rained Memorial Day, 4th of July, Hurricane Dennis just passed. Matter of fact, it has rained just about every dayum Friday, midday - just in time to f*&% up traffic all around the interior/exterior of the Perimeter for at least 6 hours (1pm - 7pm) for the last umpteen weeks. So much for me & Hammy finally taking advantage of our complex's pool - it opened Memorial Day weekend, and they've been closing every day because of this nasty weather. Compound that with Suburban Braves-fan non-drivers, and the typical Atl drivetime, and lately I've been having Happy Hour in my car. Oh wait, drinking & driving is illegal, right?

ETA:: Oops, I forgot to tag some folks, didn't I? Ok, 10 is easily divisible by 5, right? So I'll tag five, and y'all tag 5, and so on...and so on. Cee (since you hit me so quick...lol), EJ, X, ManNMotion, and MsB. Dang, there's a whole bunch of folks out there...oh hell, if you read this do it...dang!