September 2005 Archives

Which Type of Killer?

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I've seen this on MNM's page, as well as Tiki's page:

Samurai
You are a Samurai.
You are full of honour and value respect. You
are not really the stereotypical hero, but you
do fight for good. Just in your own way. For
you, it is most certainly okay to kill an evil
person, if it is for justice and peace. You
also don't belive in mourning all the time and
think that once you've hit a bad stage in life
you just have to get up again. It's pointless
to concentrate on emotional pain and better to
just get on with everything. You also are a
down to earth type of person and think before
you act. Impulsive people may annoy you
somewhat.

Main weapon: Sword
Quote: "Always do the right thing.
This will gratify some people and astonish the
rest" -Mark Twain
Facial expression: Small smile


What Type of Killer Are You? [cool pictures]
brought to you by Quizilla

Yeah...that's pretty accurate.

blessed

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Archived post:: I originally wrote this in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina (9/1/05), before I knew the seriousness of what had occurred. I shelved posting it then, but still feel the sentiment today...

from the mind of my philosophical accounting professor...
(rhetorical question) You don't think it's possible do well in my class? Come now, think about the statistical improbability of even making it to class. Wait, let's go back even further. How many individual events did you have to go through to get here? To even wake up this morning? Get out of bed? Get in the shower, get dressed, jump in your car, and get here? Think of the statistical improbability of being successful at any one of those things. With just the act of waking up, there’s an infinitesimal probability of success. Statistically, it approaches zero. Then add all the other things you had to complete, taking a shower, getting in your car, driving here safely. The chances of succeeding become smaller, and continues approaching zero. But you managed to wake up, shower without incident, and drive here without getting into an accident. You did that all successfully. Given that, how could you not succeed in this class...?

With these words in mind, I dropped my son off at school, and headed to work. I hunted down some gasoline that was less than $3, tried to buy a smoothie at my favorite spot, which was "closed due to the gas prices" (?), picked up some cereal instead, and slid into my desk at work. Happy in the knowledge that: I slept in a dry bed last night, my air conditioning worked, could & did take a hot shower this morning, got my son to school on-time, found some gas that wouldn't break my bank account, and had a job waiting for me when I was done.

Blessed.

And when I slid into my desk, my boss' boss had news for me. I got promoted. I was aware it was brewing, but I assumed it would be next year. So this was a pleasant surprise.

Blessed.

My realtor called, to tell me that construction has been restarted on theFrame! (I haven't been out there, so I really don't know what it looks like.) Apparently, the permits have been cleared on my house, and they restarted construction last week. They're looking at a December closing date.

Blessed.

I'm a simple girl, with simple needs. Despite my desire for cute clothes, and fly a$$ shoes, despite my geeky tendencies, and overanalyzing just about everything, despite my addiction to tv-drama and my aversion to real-life drama, at the end of the day I'm blessed. That is such a beautiful thing.

grinding
Bakers Dozen c/o KB via ej.


  1. theGrind:: really could be all 12 entries. Grad school is. that. serious.

  2. dinner, wine and a test?:: funny what a glass of wine can do for your grades. As I told EJ, if a glass of wine will guarantee 90's, I'm getting smashed for my finals.

  3. theFamilyThang:: interesting convo with Hammy's dad. To give him credit where due - he's stepping into his role as a dad, and I'm really glad.

  4. theHouse:: is coming along. Wanna see it? Here it go'

  5. the Beltline Partnership:: this is an interesting direction for Atlanta. Take a look. Hm, maybe I'm moving outta the hood too soon...

  6. theSideProjects:: I've got three, including this site's redesign...

  7. thePlate:: is not only full, but so is the salad plate, the roll plate...hell, the dessert plate on the side is also gettin full.

  8. theExtraTicket:: I have an extra ticket to see Madea Goes to Jail on October 8th. If you're interested, holla back.

  9. theBreak:: Watched I, Robot. Whew...Will Smith in only what God and genetics blessed him with. Oh yeah, there were some robots in the movie too, right?

  10. back to theGrind:: puttin in OT at the gig.

  11. theKids:: I miss my Hammy and theChaos :(

  12. theParty:: helped E organize his birthday set, including sending out broadcast messages to the party list. (aside: I sounded just like your local candidate...a few people called me back & asked me was E running for office...lol). theGrind had me, so I missed the set. It will all pay off in the end though...

Dr. Saga?

The subject has been broached once again. To the doctorate, or not to the doctorate: that is the question. However, this time the broacher has put the question in a framework that (damnit) has definitely got a hook that's taken a firm hold.

As one of the miniscule 6% of MBA students that happens to be an ethnic minority (African-American, Hispanic or American Indian), I've felt shouldered with certain responsibilities. To give back, to my community, through the work that I do, and also in my dealings with people in my everyday path. While I've toyed with the idea of teaching once my MBA was finished, I was focused on part-time, adjunct work - not a full-time job at all. My rationalization was that I've been grinding since, what - 1999 now? So swinging the full-time day and part-time night, while maintaining my other responsibilities is sorta old-hat. Teaching would allow me the flexibility to cut the day job back to part-time, and pursue opportunities outside the corporate arena, if you know what I mean ;)

The hook: that whole juggling jawn? Once I voiced my concerns about the doctoral workload, Dr. X (cause I can see he's got mentor in him), suggests the following thoughts: "Consider the following. How is your current path feeding the creative in you? Better yet, how are you sort of handling the creative path that you're on? If your path of creativity and focus has you on a fully engaged schedule from this Sunday through two weeks of being fully engaged, and you have to shut down for a week afterwards, how are you handling that now? And if you added some flexibility in your schedule, how would you handle that...?"

Wait, if I haven't lost you yet, there's more. Bear with me, because this professor, even though his discipline is very rigid & structured, tends to be very unrestrained when it comes to speech and thought. Listening to him inspires daydreaming, not out of boredom, but because his words inspire further consideration. What he actually said, and what I heard were probably related, but two vastly different things, but I digress...

the Framework

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So, I'm watching the Rita evacuations, with my professor's words still ringing in my ears:

"...between those who believe in institutions, and those who do not..."

E calls, to talk about some mini-drama at his gig, and we get into a long discussion about the potential for success in Corporate America. What it boiled down to is The Framework:

Beginning: our capitalist-agricultural society whose goal was the success of the individual farms (plantations) based on indentured labor, and leading to growth of society as a whole.

Evolution: mutated into a capitalist-industrialist society whose goal was the success of individual firms, based upon cheap labor, leading to the growth of the nation as a whole.

Now: our capitalist-technological society whose goal is the success of corporations (read: multinational conglomerates) based upon cheap resources, leading to the growth & viral spread of the capitalist market as a whole - to the world.

Institutions

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"...It's not a divide between the rich, the poor or the races. Quite simply, it's a disagreement between those who believe in institutions, and those who do not."

I sat in class for a while, fuming over this statement (and my inability to correctly complete a contribution cost balance sheet). The greater part of me was honestly like "oh, that's easy for yo a$$ to say. You're dry, still have your house, your job and your life..."

But as this story of Katrina and her victims develops, and as the "race" card continues to play out in the media, and as the victims are shuttled back & forth between the Red Cross and FEMA, from Houston to Galveston back to New Orleans then fleeing from Hurricane Rita back to Galveston, and as the finger-pointing spreads from isolated incidents into a plague, I'm starting to understand the merit in that statement.

Now don't get me wrong. I'm so not trying to blame the victims at all. But I'm thinking more of recovery, and preparation for the next event, and what lessons we can learn from all this.

In the "aftermath of Hurricane Katrina", "these institutions" failed "us": FEMA, the Red Cross, as well as the Federal government, and state & local authorities. These institutions were created specifically to respond to this type of situation, and all of them were found wanting.

And please note, when I say "us" - you can use whatever definition floats your boat - black people, poor people, low-class people, elderly & sick people, stubborn people, resourceless people, people with purple polka-dots. Whatever definition works for you. But for now, let's generalize this and just say "us" because it's really just people, and that's all we are.

But here's the rub - this isn't the first time the "gov't" or some institutions failed "us". We could substitute many things for those words in quotes:
~ In the "undereducated communities", "the educational institutions" failed "the undereducated"
~ In the "1980's recession", "the Reagan administration" failed "the poor, the jobless, the homeless"
~ In the "crisis of poverty", "the welfare system" failed "welfare recipients"
The bottom line is that we put an expectation on these "institutions" that they were unable to keep. Given that, should we continue to place our expectations, our fate, our destiny in "their" hands?

I don't have any easy answers and I can't offer any real solutions. I'm not suggesting we stop paying taxes, and stop voting. And being the capitalist whore that I am, I'm not suggesting a revolution (cause frankly I'm just beginning to benefit from my hard work, and don't want to forgo that to stage a coup). All I'm thinking about, on a personal level, is changing my mindset, so that when the next "crisis" happens to "us", the response doesn't catch "us" off-guard.

My hat goes off to Oprah's Angel Network, Heal the Hood.com and all the other "grassroots" organizations that are stepping in to plug this breach between expectations, and reality. Meanwhile, we should all do a reality check, and not only decide whether we'll continue to believe in institutions, but what we'll do about it.

...Now, as for me...can I get a refund on my Red Cross donation? hmph, coulda send that stack to TI & David Banner or a local church instead, yanno?

B12 - the looooooong weekend

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theFullFrame
Bakers Dozen c/o KB via ej.


  1. theHammy:: has been sick for about 5 days now, so I've had an unintended, extended "vacation" (yeah, right). But antyhoo, we've had several strips to the doctor because of what looks like a spider bite, and he's been shot 4 times in the leg, and is on antibiotics. Poor baby! But he's a trooper, and he's back in school.

  2. theFullFrame:: yes, that's it - it's looking good and they're making progress.

  3. grad school:: Every semester I hit the wanting-to-throw-in-the-towel point, and have a mini-nervous breakdown, including insomnia, crying jags & lots of whining. This semester, I've passed it with nary a whimper. I'm getting better at this, and that's making me SO proud of myself.

  4. bane of my existance:: cost accounting. Any CPA's out there, can you help a sista out?

  5. theDiet:: did I mention I'm on Weight Watchers? Probably not. Let's just say it's working, and I'm taking it one lb at a time.

  6. theFun:: So, as a treat to myself (and toward my volunteer work) I go to Malibu Grand Prix. We had a ball, and I got to speed legally (ok, it was only around a mini-track, and wasn't that fast, but still you know the Nascar driver in me was happy)...

  7. the Bridal Shower:: I can't say much, but I can say his name was P.l.e.a.s.u.r.e and it sho' was accurate. And no, you can NOT see the pictures.

  8. chillin':: theChaos & I decide to work on furnishing her new apartment, and aide me in anticipatory house (window) shopping. So, Ikea, local thrift stores (found a bomb-a$$ couch for $59.99 that I could not buy, and some black iron dining rooms chairs for $40 that I also could not get yet), Target, Walmart, antique stores, etc. So, we know where I'm shopping to dress theFrame ;-)

  9. "...hey, what's that grinding noise....?"

  10. theTruck:: yes, I had to (temporarily) put her down. Rear axle probably, but the jury is still out. I feel like a traitor, but I am kinda liking this 2005 Chevy Impala I have while she's getting fixed. Oops, sowwy Bessie.

  11. theOofA:: I don't know WHY I entertained his bullshyt when he offered to look at Bessie for me. But when he no-showed, I wasn't surprised. What did surprise me however is him attempting to check me for blowing up his phone when he blew me off. Oh, he picked the WRONG one...and while I have sufficiently cussed his a$$ the f&*% out, I'm going to hang on to those naked, incriminating pictures of him just a lil while longer. In case he does something foolish...cause you just never know.

  12. theLoveLife:: is OFFICIALLY OVER. So for anyone reading this trying to get at me, don't bother. I'm NOT interested. Aside: I called quite a few folks when the car locked up on me, and quite a few folks never answered the phone, and quite a few folks have yet to return my calls, so quite a few folks will probably be surprised when they finally do manage to get in touch with me, because I wholly intend to tell quite a few folks to KISS MY ASS!


DISCLAIMER: see, I'm the type of person that will go out of their way to help a person in need, and I expect my friends/brothas trying to get at me/etc. to do the same. If you can't, then quite simply I can't f&*% with you. Now I know who my true friends are.

still here

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Yes, I'm still here, and still fine. Just been burning the candle at both ends, in the middle...well honestly, I even nuked the MF, but it just melted. I was expecting an explosion. Ah, well.

A coupla questions in the interim:
~ if the culture of a particular society is based on X framework, and X framework is an illusion, then how does any one individual within the society ever truly "succeed"?
~ is the Katrina debate really about the separation between classes/races? Or is it more about the separation between those who believe in institutions and those who do not?
~ It's 11o'clock. Why don't my neighbors know where their children are? (ok, they know where they are, but why is where they are outside?)
~ did this chick really grow up listening to this music?

the answer to these, and many other questions will be provided later, but I'll give you a hint...the last question is the easiest of the bunch to answer ;)

UPDATE: this information, while from a reliable source, is unconfirmed. I'm waiting on updates for both of these, but until then - disregard this information.

Out of the darkness....Just wanted to pass these on. And don't get it twisted, this relief effort is definitely a grassroots thing, so if you hear of anything, please pass it on.

If you know any young men who need a job or are willing to help the victims in New Orleans, please see the info sent to me below.  Please feel free to share it with any one interested. You may have to leave a message because they are having a high call volume.

If you know any young men age 18 and up who are looking for work, Bishop Eddie Long, Pastor of New Birth Missionary Baptist Church, is offering $32.00 per hour for a team of men willing to go to New Orleans to help with the disaster and damage done by Hurricane Katrina.  You can call the church at XXX-XXX-XXXX for sign up and more information.
FEMA is actually administering this, not New Birth, and I'm waiting for contact information.
                                                                           
                                                       
FYI                                                                      
Construction company hiring 1000 people to help with hurricane clean up.  
$10/hr, 80-90 hrs weekly, food, lodging, transportation to area.  Start immediately, could go on for 1-2 yrs. Anyone interested can call directly to LVI Svcs, 713-991-0480, 10500
Telephone Rd ,  Houston, Texas. Note: as of right now, they're only accepting applications locally today, in person and applicants MUST have government issued ID to apply.

random seven

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I know, I'm trife. Been meaning to post, but .....I'm still mad about the Katrina response, and the daily ineptitude of the "authorities" allegedly in charge is fueling my anger. What they're in charge of remains to be seen. So, in lieu of me ranting again, here's what else is on my radar:


  1. theFrame:: saw it for my own eyes. New closing is December XX,2005. Pics to follow.

  2. theLoan:: No, I'm not locked in. According to my lender, my interest rate will flatten or decrease, due to Katrina and the Fed's expected response.

  3. theSchool:: Yes, Virginia, I'm grinding again. Hence my absence AND my indifference to school. Aside: GSU makes you bust yo a$$, just so they can make US News & World Reports, NOT because you'll gain much from the a$$-busting.

  4. theWork:: I got promoted. Yes, I was ecstatic, but it was overshadowed by current events. I'll celebrate, later.

  5. theLoveLife:: Is non-existent. I don't hate men, and they're still interested. I just haven't met anyone that, er - makes me moist. Again, indifference - with theSchool, theWork, theVolunteerism, theKids, theETC on my plate - it will take an EXCEPTIONAL brother to inspire me to make time for him. Haven't met him yet, but if you see him, tell him where he can find me ;-)

  6. theWaistline:: I started Weight Watchers, a coupla weeks ago, and am pleased thusfar with the results. It's a journey, and I'm enjoying it.

  7. theMindset:: Other than my anger & guilt (theLoan) related to Katrina, I'm content. Still actively workin' on happy.

~J. Palmer, Warminster, UK: "In times of disaster and desperation, it is the ability of those involved to pull together that defines the outcomes for the survivors. There has been a clear failure in New Orleans at all levels of American society. While those in positions of authority must be called to account for their failures over the coming days, there is also a need for America as whole to try to understand what the collective failure illustrates about the American way of life."

I've watched more footage than I intended to, because (frankly) I couldn't pull myself away from the TV. I felt guilty, for being fine, and being blessed, and not being able to do more. I watched Sheperd Smith on the bridge overpass in New Orleans, near the convention center, calmly, methodically and logically picking apart all the excuses FEMA, President Bush, and other political analysts used to explain the delay of aid to the "refugees" of New Orleans. I watched Geraldo Rivera walk thru the crowds, touching the sick & elderly on the shoulder, picking up dehydratred babies and pointing their crying faces toward the camera to elicit an emotional response that would possibly make people understand the gravity of the situation. I watched them point toward the dead 2 ft away, I looked at the dead bodies floating in the rivers of NewOrlean's streets. I watched exhausted and hysterical New Orleans cops rant about the lack of organization, I listened to Ray Nagin go the f&*% off about the lack of federal response, I listened to Bill O'Reilly/Sean Hannity editorialize about the causes, the effects and the blame. I've read a half dozen message boards, US and international, where common people are asking the common question: Why?

Why did the evacuees have to wait so long to be evacuated?
Why was the federal response delayed?
Why was their no communication between state, Federal and local law enforcement in the early stages of this disaster?
Why didn't people leave?
Why did people, the elderly, the sick, the babies...why did they have to die?
Why were funds to the Army Corp of Engineers cut?
Why weren't the levies strengthened?
Why did _______ (insert gov't official here) do _________ (insert inept, ignorant or illogical activity here)?

At the end of the day, we'll all be asking more questions than we'll ever have answered. Months & years later, when the immediate needs are being met, we'll vote at the polls, or we'll rant & rave all over again or we'll decide to start a revolution, and maybe that will come to fruition. Or maybe it won't.

But.

My hope (out of a myriad hopes, most of which are that the death toll is less than expected, and that people are reunited with their loved ones....)...my hope is that we all reexamine our stance, our values, our morals our priorities. Our compassion. Our integrity. Our patriotism. Our collective conscience.

As J. Palmer so eloquently and succinctly illustrated, there is something deeply and inherently flawed in our collective social conscience. We came together and were so benevolent, briefly, after September 11th. And now this..this shows what a farce that benevolence actually was. The average American has mentally lined up to take a side on the racism/classism issue that Katrina's aftermath has highlighted, and they've probably basing it on where they fall on the class/race model. Or their politial leanings. Or their tax bracket. Or whatever.

Lawd, help me...I'm rambling...but I have a point.

I believe that the divide between the have's and the have-nots has widened so much, that neither side can even imagine the other's. A poor person in American can no sooner imagine the daily life of a person with money, power, or prestige, than a middle-class (not even rich, not even well-to-do!) person can imagine why "looters' or "thugs" would shoot at rescue helicopters. We watch each other on TV, and expect that we know each other, but we don't have a clue. And that cluelessness has robbed us of our empathy and compassion. This, this allows Michael Brown to basically say "well, they should've left when we told them to" and the looter to say "well, they ain't trying to get us out anyway, they're just rescuing the rich people...so ain't nobody getting out this bytch and I'mma take whatever I want. When civilization fails, I've got the power". Not excusing either, not siding with either, those are just the facts that lie openly for us to see.

This, more than anything that has happened in the last few days, terrifies me.

Keepin' it brief...there are local things you can do, here in Atlanta, to help the storm victims. We know the Red Cross and Salvation Army are involved, but here are a few others...

There are families, currently staying at local hotels, in need of food, clothes, water, etc... a few not a few, a few busloads at:
Comfort Inn at Six Flags (GA731)
4330 Fulton Ind. Blvd. , Atlanta, GA, US, 30336
Phone: (404) 505-8880 Fax: (404) 505-9660 ask for Jod... tell her Ali sent you
I'm heading out that way this evening...
UPDATE: as of 9/2/05 AM, these are the items that are needed
~ LARGE BOXES
~ Underwear, for men, women (particularly bra's, all sizes) and children
~ Socks for men, women and children
~ Bookbags
~ School Supplies
~ Children's cold medicine (particularly for children under age 6)
~ Headache Medicine - all ages
~ Alcohol (OTC, not to drink)
~ Peroxide
~ Baby Wipes
~ Baby Formula
~ Towels
~ Laundry detergent
~ Women's Plus Size clothing (particularly sizes 3X-4X)

YOUR LOCAL: apartment complexes & landlords - I checked with mine to see if I can house a family, and I can't (lease restrictions) but my complex is making their empty apartments available to any family of evacuees who needs shelter. They're doing it on a first-come basis, but I'm sure they're not the only one. They already have a short waiting list, but check your local complexes (and if you know of a family looking for shelter, I can provide a referral to get put on the list).


V103 is accepting donation to help put up additional families here locally in Atlanta.
The V103 DJ's will be at The Galleria @ South Dekalb Mall all day today 9/1/2005 until this evening, accepting donations.
They haven't posted the information on their site, but hopefully they'll update it later. You can go to:
http://www.wvee.com later for more information, or just meet them at the mall.

I'll post more information as I come across it.

Just want to put this out there....we know that some of the victims that have been impacted don't have a voice, news coverage, or access to resources...Let's give them at least a voice, ya'll heard?

ETA:: I've been unable to turn off the news reports, and I hate to sound redundant, but it's horrifying. I simply don't understand why, if the media can get in to show people suffering and "looting", if Harry Connick Jr. can get in and talk to people, and try to give them a voice and highlight what's going on there, why can't they take in food, water & medicine? Why can't they get the people out?

I'm also sickened by the absolute callousness and lack of compassion by the critics who have been suggesting that the people stranded should have left before the storm hit, and implying that since they refused to leave, they're getting what they deserved. These people are so far below the poverty line, they have no cars, rely on public transportation, and the money to "get a bus ticket out of New Orleans" was probably more than they could afford. These are people, human beings, not just "looters" and "thugs" and "rapists" and "gangsters". They're people, that are suffering. Hindsight is a mutha, but not enough to throw stones at people who are already dying. I love this country, but .... < sigh > this pisses me the f&*% off. Where are the critics' alleged compassion and values now?


ETA:: Oops Xquizzyt, I deleted your comment! I really didn't mean to, but I had to repost. Sorry!

Some interesting reads:

Excerpt from Michael Moore's Open letter to Bush:: Any idea where all our helicopters are? It's Day 5 of Hurricane Katrina and thousands remain stranded in New Orleans and need to be airlifted. Where on earth could you have misplaced all our military choppers? Do you need help finding them? I once lost my car in a Sears parking lot. Man, was that a drag.

From Margins of Society to Center of the Tragedy By DAVID GONZALEZ::
The scenes of floating corpses, scavengers fighting for food and desperate throngs seeking any way out of New Orleans have been tragic enough. But for many African-American leaders, there is a growing outrage that many of those still stuck at the center of this tragedy were people who for generations had been pushed to the margins of society.

The victims, they note, were largely black and poor, those who toiled in the background of the tourist havens, living in tumbledown neighborhoods that were long known to be vulnerable to disaster if the levees failed. Without so much as a car or bus fare to escape ahead of time, they found themselves left behind by a failure to plan for their rescue should the dreaded day ever arrive.

FEMA chief: Victims bear some responsibility from CNN.com:
The director of the Federal Emergency Management Agency said Thursday those New Orleans residents who chose not to heed warnings to evacuate before Hurricane Katrina bear some responsibility for their fates.

Michael Brown also agreed with other public officials that the death toll in the city could reach into the thousands.

"Unfortunately, that's going to be attributable a lot to people who did not heed the advance warnings," Brown told CNN.

"I don't make judgments about why people chose not to leave but, you know, there was a mandatory evacuation of New Orleans," he said.