sagaciously is...

Bakers Dozen c/o KB via ej.

1. grad school:: skipped it. Yeah, I said I skipped it. Don't ask...


2. theAlternative:: I self-beautificated instead. Trust me, I sorely needed it.


3. volunteering:: attended Laffapallooza, the Teens of Comedy show. My mentee had a ball, particularly when the tag team of Brandon T. Jackson and Lil JJ graced the stage. I promise that, unlike some parents & my mentee, I only drooled over Jamie Foxx, and not those young men. I swear. Ok, you're just gonna have to trust me...


4. partyNumberOne:: my coworker's housewarming, and it was tight. Her house is really nice, and I'm jealous of her deck! I want a deck too... (can't have it, too much $ for my blood...)


5. partyNumberTwo:: also over a coworker's spot. Who also has an off-da-dayum-chain house. Ok, saga - you cannot be jealous...you cannot be envious...even if you wanted the basement too....


6. in da clubII:: I don't know why I entertained going back to the Hoodrat-Drop club, but it was as anti-climactic and anti-fun as it could've possibly been. Which was only worsened by the time change - extended anti-climactic anti-fun-ness. Yes, that is now officially a word. Were it not for the cover charge, I would've gone elsewhere.


7. theComeUp:: within 15 minutes of walking in da club, theQueen has 3 phone numbers. Me? I can't buy a number, m'kay? Not ONE - in a HOODRAT club. I am so Joan for that...just as classist, egregious and single as I dayum WANT to be!


8. theConsensus: I'm a b*&%$. More specifically, I've completely lost my ability to not only a) flirt, but also b) the sense to know when someone's flirting with me as well as c) ability to carry on a benign/flippy conversation with a person of the opposite sex and d) smile. Sadat and theQueen agree: I need to relearn how to put out the honey, and hide the vinegar.


9. theTuneUp - partIII:: he was on point, as usual. Blah...blah...blah.


10. theTuneUp - the afterglow:: I've got to be honest with myself, and subsequently y'all. I wasn't feeling this AT ALL. And frankly, I realize (once again) that this really isn't what I want. But how do I tell the Maintenance Dude that? I'm not even sure he knows he's the maintenance dude!


11. theSpermDonor - part II:: I looked a hot tired mess when I went to pick Hammy up afterward. But theSpermDonor is still living out his Disappearing Act fantasy. Do I need a backrub? Naw shawty, I'm good. Do I need something to eat? Naw shawty...I'll grab something on the way home. Do I want to lay in the bed with you? Oh dayum...I think I just threw up a lil in my mouth. Oh yeah - I am a b*&%$, arent' I?


12. theTrickReallyWasOnMe:: Given all of the deep-fried badness which was my weekend, I would've rather stayed home to eat caramel popcorn and watch Shrek II & Monsters, Inc with Hammy. Which is exactly what I plan on doing tonite...in the dark, avec notre propre cachette personnelle de sucrerie (with our own personal stash of candy). TrickorTreaters beware!