sagaciously is...

yeah, I went back there too...click here for a sample

see part I for background

the evolution of the love affair:: how do you wake up one morning, and realize that this person, this entity you'd never known before, is now, somehow inherently a part of you, a part of your life, and that you never want to be without it again? That's how I felt about hip-hop music and hip-hop culture. Now, don't get it twisted - I could've gone down the road of the five elements, and chased hard being an emcee, or a dancer, etc.. I know, I'm a girl, girls can/cannot break/emcee - whateva. But that was never how I felt about it. Hip-hop was always a feeling for me. I was a fan, a fanatical fan at times - a cheerleader, a booster, and an educator. When my musician (metal) friends questioned his legitimacy, I defended him, saying he was more than just scratching other folks music, over breakbeats. I loved him, this kid hip-hop, so it was always enough for me to let him shine, and just be able to bask in his brilliance.

That's what falling in love was like for me, and that's how falling in love with hip-hop was for me. It was a part of me, and I was a part of it. Inseparable.

we grew together...:: ...as kids do, we matured, expanded our horizons, and flexed our wings. When hip-hop was standing strictly in a b-boy stance I was there...at the Swatch Fresh Fest, when Grandmaster Dee was the nastiest DJ around, and I wanted to kiss Jalil, hip-hop was there. He even kept my fears at bay, when the guy standing in front of me got stabbed about 5 minutes into the Fat Boy's set. Note: the crowd parted briefly, the police dragged out both parties, and the general admission show went on...though it was the last general admission show at that venue for a while. Ah, those were the days.

He even came to my senior skip party, as the theme music Sucker MC's from Run-DMC. We ran that joint to death, as my friends tried to pop-lock and break, and the DJ played that famous hook over and over "dave cut the record...". Auuugh, remember Davey D? We went to every live show that came to my lil town, just to see the DJ's scratch, and the lyrics, dancers, and graffiti artists were sort of an afterthought.

Until Schoolly D, until Rakim, until Chuck D. and until Professor X. Hell, who knew as a young'un what "to the East, my brother" meant? But that brother had swagger, and how could you not appreciate a black man, telling other black men to stand up? Lyrics man....enough partying and everything, that's cool, but now how's about some lyrics. Chile, there were times when I caught myself thinkin' "ok, hip-hop done lost it's mind", but we were growing up, and when you're spreading your wings, a lil insanity is exactly what's needed. Yeah, I appreciated the party music, the Rob Bases, Jazzy Jeff (also nasty on the wheels) and the Fresh Prince, and Juice Crews of the hip-hop world. But I felt KRS-One when he ripped MC Shan apart on wax, and I felt Schoolly D when he said "PSK, we're makin that green...People always say, "What the hell does that mean?" When hip-hop pushed the envelope, I had his back, against critics, record companies, black radio, and this lil Music Video channel that absolutely refused to give him air-time. He loved me for having his back.

we grew apart... ...oh, that whole west coast thing, yeah. Never felt it. Never. I know, a lot of those brothers were talented, but that wasn't where my heart lay. So when hip-hop got gangsta, I went slightly west, to Chi-Town, embraced house, along with the Jungle Brothers ('cause they did promise they'd House me) and Heavy D (yes, we found love together, but what did we do with it?), and the Native Tongues (no I'm not mad at'chu because you told me that it was my buddy that was making you ever so horny, jungaliciously horny...lol). Ok so maybe I danced a lil to Ice-Ice Baby. And although I didn't try to Touch That (ugh) I did dance to Oaktown 3.5.7.'s "Yeah, yeah, yeah".

But even when we grew apart, we grew. We matured. We explored some new territories that maybe did/didn't contribute to the hip-hop aesthetic or hip-hop collective. Hell, who can really judge the contribution of PM Dawn's "Memory Bliss"? Oh, well - maybe KRS-One, hunh? Ok, well then is Tom Tom Club hip-hop? Suzanne Vega? We grew apart, but we didn't grow far apart. We always found our way back together. When hip-hop was out on some ole existentialist/political thang (Ras Kas, Kam, Paris), we had his back. When hip-hop was on some ole underground shyt, spitting shyt that didn't nobody get:

"And I’m the hickory-dickory top of morning boogoloo big jaw
With the yippedy zippedy winnie the pooh bad boy blue,
Yo crazy got the gusto, what up, I swing that too..."

I still had it's back. Even though almost 15 years later, I still don't know what the f*ck that means.

...but, what we had was ours:: when he was on some ole backpack bullshyt, smokin spiffs in a cypher, (OGC, Boot Camp Clik) not caring about commercial success, I was there. When he claimed some questionable grimey background (Onyx, anyone?) I was there. No matter how much his broke a$$ whined about radio ignoring him, record companies gankin' him, I listened to his complaints, and tried to nurse his bruised ego back into health. I stayed up late nights, waiting for underground college radio to run tracks. Back then, he never wanted to reach Fortune 500 status...he just wanted to stand up, like Professor X and Chuck D told him to. So I bought his mixtapes, and I went to see him perform. And, the first time we heard Caron Wheeler sing acappella on WBLS so hauntingly beautiful: "cold fresh air, feel the melody that's in the air....oh yeah"...we both got goosebumps.

That was hip-hop, and it was ours, and didn't nobody have to understand it, or buy it, because it belonged to us. And Mary J. didn't have to hit every note perfect for us to feel her, she was the Queen of Hip-Hop, who cares what anyone else thinks. And when Puffy and the Hit Men (whateva happened to them?) was churning out hits, we didn't question whether this was the direction we wanted hip-hop to go. It sounded good, even when it was "the remix". Even when MTV wouldn't play "our" videos (hell, they wouldn't play Mike or Prince back then either), we still had Video Music Box (my phone bill just recovered, thank you). It was music, our music.

But then...