sagaciously is...

It's become interesting watching the whole dating game play out, particularly as I've gotten older. And through periods of complete abstinence, dating time-outs and objectively watching the dating goings-on around me, I keep trying to figure out how things got so damn complicated.

"Simplicity defines the fine line between eloquence and plain-ness ...": but does it also define the fine line between painful and painless? See, I'm yearning for those old days, when we were young and naive enough to believe that if we simply told someone "I like you", they'd either respond "I like you too", or "well, I don't like you". And we could all keep it moving, accordingly.

Exactly when did things get so damned hard?

According to "E":: "by the time we reach a certain age - 30's and 40's, we become magicians. We're all smoke and mirrors. All we do is work on creating illusions. We reflect exactly what we want the other person to see. We're afraid when we reveal our true selves, this person will not feel us at all. Problem is, as most of us eventually find out - time reveals all...It's the QuasiModo in all of us that we fear the most."

Yeah, there's some truth there ( a whole lotta truth for a whole lotta folks actually). People conceal so much, so habitually that it becomes hard to actual reveal, which is one of those cornerstones fundamental to building something meaningful. Or, they reveal just enough to draw the other person in, without sharing anything that's actually important to them. And they're left wondering why all their relationships are superficial.

But, I like my inner QuasiModo. So much so, that (according to my good girlfriends) I tend to show her to any brother who spends more than 2.5 seconds in my presence. I figure, if he likes me, he'll like me regardless. They figure, he needs to like me, before he meets Quasi. Hmph..

stakes is high, though:: see, my problem IMHO, isn't that I'm scared of what most guys think. My problem is that I've got a lot to lose. As one blind date told me, after our establishing we have a lot in common: "We've got a lot to lose. Nice careers, nice cars, financial stability, sanity, a drama-free llife that we worked very hard to create. We can't date just any-ole-body...". aside: there was no second date, btw. But factor in my anticipating what an equally-yoked-to-me brotha would anticipate in a woman (hm, killer body - which is always subjective, easy on the eyes - again, subjective, and with men being aesthetic creatures, my guesses are never far off), and the field gets even narrower. I'd love to entertain a decent date with the brothers I run into at the gas station, supermarket, bank, etc.

theReal:: but experience tells me I can't. Experience tells me these encounters rarely rate a second conversation. See, those wack conversations I whined about occurring in da club? Yeah, they occur outside the club, too. So, to avoid awkward pauses after I say what I do, or what I'm studying, etc...well, I stopped entertaining these chance encounters. I refuse to settle, because in practicality settling has never worked well for me. So, I chill, and expect that extraordinary brother to pierce my hard candy shell.

I'm the girl in the plastic bubble. Literally.

I'd love to just put it all out there, but the reality is that most guys I meet can't take all of it. Truth is, they want the least of me, and when I raise that bar, most bolt. And it's cool, but it's also not. I'm coming quickly on my 6 month anniversary in my new crib, and through many dates, I've only allowed one person I was dating into the new spot. He asked within 10 minutes of arrival, how much I paid for my house. I haven't invited him back. Stakes is high, y'all.

to my sistahs:: It's hard, trust me - I know. But know that you're extraordinary, so he's gotta be extraordinary. And thus a little challenging to find. Meanwhile, you really don't have to kiss (or entertain) every frog you meet in the process.

Sometimes though, I wish we could just go back to "will you go with me....?"