July 2006 Archives

the end of an era

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notice anything different?

yep, that's permanent. as in perm. my hair is no longer natural (although it is all mine).

Y, U ask? The natural look wasn't doing much for me. Don't get it twisted, I like the look, feel, weight etc. of nappy hair, in general. And I rocked some fierce nappy styles, no doubt. But overall, it wasn't working for me anymore.

So, that pic above is my look, for now. Now being indefinitely. And while I do take the hair wars that seriously, and intimately understand how big a deal it is/was for me to be nappy, I did what I had to do as a natural haired woman. And I don't feel like I have anything to prove to anyone. No sell-outs here - it's a personal choice.

...but I'm sure this will inspire some interesting conversations at theGig. Stay tuned.

OE: the catch-up

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Ok, this is gonna be an interesting exercise, because a) I'm tipsy (lil penguin white shiraz packs a punch) and b) I'm pressed for time. ETA: yes, I borrowed ( stole ) the OE idea from ManNMotion - shouts out for the inspiration. So without further ado:

theGig:: an opportunity was presented to me, I was overqualified for, but it paid more. Every mgr that needed to approve theThang approved it. After it was allegedly a done deal, Mgr X figured out theThang paid TOO much more, and balked. To anyone willing to listen. Some stalling occurred, and discussions i wasn't privy too. When the dust settled, the more-pay was passed on to someone else, and I was offered the opportunity on a contingency basis, sans pay, to "prove myself". Or continue to work with Mgr X. I took option A, and updated my resume.

Meanwhile, this opportunity was need based, and my services were sorely needed. SORELY. So I've been working 12-14 hour days, weekends, and from home, to "get 'er done". (shouts to Larry the Cable Guy, who is my next baby-daddy, btw) . Why, you ask? The opportunity broadens my skillset, in anticipation of my departure.

theGradSchool:: I be (on it)...all night, man I be (on it)....everyday, str8 up studying...you can catch me in the....A....I be on that latte tonite, str8 up on latte to nite...

Ok, that was LAAAME! I must be tipsy....lol.

theHood:: so my subdivision is filling in nicely, and I'm no longer fighting my grass. Hows-n-ever, I got an anonymous letter in the mail, about some unsolicited lawn poop, and loud music waking up babies. Signed by Mr. and Mrs Tired of the Lawn Poop and Loud Music. Now y'all know I don't have a dog, so obviously it's my tunes. I took this personally, because I figured the neighborly thing to do woould be to walk the 10 feet that separates our houses, and holla at a player if you have problems.

And yes, the music pumps from the vehicle, at all odd hours that I keep, whenever I'm in the car. It's about the only thing keeping me from tearing someone's head off.

But, it ain't me. I learned this one morning, as one of my furry neighbors left me a little lawn poop present. I also learned that I'm not the only one thumbing their nose about loud music) Next door neighbor had a party, which spilled into my yard,and left me empty bottles in my trashcan, et. al.

Note to saga - despite the backyard view from my bedroom, get some drapes. Stat.

theLoveLife:: queue talking heads song ..same as it ever was... I'm 2X months celibate (E says it's only celibacy if I have prospects to actually get laid, and I'm turning them down. I say - go str8 to hell, E).

theKids, theSchool, theEtc:: fine, yeah, blah, blah. Well, the kids miss their mom. theGig is making theSitter rich. theSchool is as worrisome as ever.

theBreakDown:: all work and no play, makes saga bug the f*ck out. I had a breakdown the other day. A big thing, but not insurmountable. Basically, theGig (and the other stuff too, but mostly theGig) was running me to death, with no validation/affirmation. And with a tiny support system (and no a$$), I was bound to blow a tire. E gave me a shoulder to cry on, and some advice. And the grind grinds on.....

hitting one outta the park:: I got some validation from an unexpected source - I got it from a group of type A personalities. And it reminded me how good it feels to get it. Don't get me wrong, self-affirmation is good. But being an army of one, thinking you're the shizit gets old (and a lot lonely). It felt dayum good to hear it from someone else.

aside - it wasn't better than sex. but it was good.

*yawns* ok, that's it. times up. nighty-night!

site down....?

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er...did anyone notice a little service disruption?

lol - nah, I wouldn't have either 'cept I had something i wanted to post. Seems some power outages are affecting service, etc. Meanwhile, er...me being the bad geek that I am, I haven't backed up a single thing on this site....


...let me get busy.

spam alert

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and now a brief pause for a chuckle....

I got this IM on Yahoo just now:

I_M_dumb_a$$: DEAR GOD:

I want to thank You for what you have already done. I am not going to wait until I see results or receive rewards; I am thanking you right now. I am not going to wait until I feel better or things look better; I am thanking you right now. I am not going to wait until people say they are sorry or until they stop talking about me; I am thanking you right now. I am not going to wait until the pain in my body disappears ; I am thanking you right now. I am not going to wait until my financial situation improves; I am going to thank you right now. I am not going to wait until the children are asleep and the house is quiet; I am going to thank you right now. I am not going to wait until I get promoted at work or until I get the job; I am going to thank you right now. I am not going...

my response: um, I'm pretty sure that you sent this message/prayer to the wrong person. I am NOT GOD, and I'm also pretty sure he doesn't use Yahoo messenger.

EJ's Birthday Brunch

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The Details (click the graphic to view the evite):

Host: saga
Location: Chequer's Seafood Grill
236 Perimeter Pkwy NE, Atlanta, GA
When: Sunday, July 23, 11:00am
Phone: 770-391-9383
It's that time, time to celebrate the birth of your favorite DJ, the one, the only EJ. Please join us in lifting our glasses (and forks) to honor Mr. Flavors.

note: EJ will NOT be providing the music for a change ;)

If I missed ya, it was purely an oversite - holla at me and I'll add you!

don't believe the hype?:: Somehow, I missed the memo that this was a hot topic. Apparently, that memo went out to many major media outlets, and particularly the blogosphere. I googled the words "Angry Black Woman" and got back 35,700 hits. Not a lot, but definitely not a little. You can see some of the results here. Some are a little dated, but the perception/stereotype still persists.

ok, technically I got the memo, but I ignored it. Being an admitted Strong Black Woman, from a lineage of SBW's, I knew there was a connotation signifying also being an Angry Black Woman, but I chose to not take on that role. However, for many reasons (including DP's prodding me into reading some things that pissed me completely off), it seems I have to visit this subject again.

Yes, I said again. I skirted this subject a while back, but I apparently need to look at it from a different angle.

Angry Black Woman - the definition:: there are as many, as there are opinions about the subject. I guess the best I can do is try to create an accurate characterization: it's a woman, who through self-definition or circumstance deems herself to be independent and/or self-reliant, who admittedly will not tolerate any bullshyt, and who voices her opinions (according to some, whether she's qualified to, or not) about black men to anyone willing to listen. She's attitudinal, and negative, and happy to voice both at the drop of a topic. And she's got a network of sisterfriends validating her feelings, further fueling the negativity. She's bitter and fearful, and the two are a lethal combination both on a micro scale (for her potential to meet a suitable mate) and a macro scale (destroying the black family and subsequently the black community).

Alrighty then.

What the Fug?

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If you're not already familiar, fug is a reference, a site and typically a sight as well. And yesterday as I was trolling through my bloglines I read the funniest shyt I've read in a whiiiile.

You should probably check it out for yourself: Go Fug Yourself's take on Shar Fugson.

man-wand?!!!! *uncontrollable giggles start again* I can't even read that anymore....lol.

the Freak/Sex meme

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timing is everything. I "borrowed" this from SJ, the infamous and it's timed right (although the answer to everything is probably no)....lol

1. HAVE YOU GOTTEN LAID IN 2006?
2006? How about in this century...?

2. EVER HAD SEX IN A PUBLIC PLACE?
Yes. Once outside in my ex's first floor courtyard. Shared courtyard. At 10AM. On a Saturday....

3. EVER LAUGH DURING SEX? IF SO WHY?
Yes. Absurd animal sounds anyone?

4. EVER CRY DURING SEX? IF SO WHY?
Yes. For both good and bad reasons.

5. DO YOU LIKE TO CUDDLE AFTER SEX?
More often than not, 'specially since I'm anti-bootycall.

6. EVER REGRET SEX WITH SOMEONE?
Although I don't "do" regret, there are two. One whom you know...

7. EVER FAKED AN ORGASM?
Gotta keep a good "forgasm" in your repertoire to keep things moving

8. DIRTY TALK, OR SHUT THE FUCK UP?
Oh it was ME making the animal sounds....lol. But nah, shut up - unless you're REALLY good.

9. EVER HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX?
this question is probably shocking for folks under 30

10. EVER MASTERBATE TO YOUR FRIENDS SIGNIFICANT OTHER?
I'm a dirty girl....hm....er, just no.

11. EVER HAVE A ONE NIGHT STAND?
No - they're expensive and somewhat useless. Oh, you mean sex?! Then, yes.

12. HOW BOUT A 3-SOME?
Nope.

13. EVER WATCH PORN DURING SEX?
Yes. Oh you mean with someone else...also, yes.

14. EVER THOUGHT OF SOMEONE ELSE DURING SEX?
Yes. Orrin Hatch. (I keed!)

15. HAS THE CONDOM EVER BROKE?
I think he pierced it intentionally

16. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING SEXUAL EXPERIENCE?
In college, my boyfriend and I were loudly going at it, and his roommate walked in without knocking. And stood there. Silently. Watching. For about as long as it took you to read this. When we finally realized he was there, the BF finally had to throw a shoe at him to get him to leave...and no, we never broke stride either.

17. HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU LOST YOUR VIRGINITY?
Too young...

18. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE SEX WITH RIGHT NOW?
hm....there's this guy I know that lives 2,658.5 miles away. Not that i've been thinking about it or anything...

19. DO YOU THINK THAT number 18 IS POSSIBLE?
if you have airline miles you'd like to donate to the "get saga laid" fund, I'd appreciate it.

20. ARE YOU HORNY NOW?
Just finished chatting with aforementioned guy. Guess.

21. WOULD U HAVE SEX WITH THE PERSON THAT POSTED THIS?
She's cute, but missing some essential equipment....lol

OE - I'm ba-ack?

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Ok, so here's the deal:

thePC's:: Yes, my primary PC crashed completely. Windows reinstall, missing drivers, data is here (somewhat) , applications aren't, so the system is wrecked. My backup PC is still fried. My geekiness is highly suspect for letting this happen.

theGig:: Some things have gone on at the gig. I'm still employed, but supremely not happy. SUPREMELY. No, my job wasn't in jeopardy. My integrity was/is. I'll try to expand on this later.

theLoveLife:: *sighs* news-anti-flash - black men have issues. And so do men of other races. I've thrown the towel in and snatched it back so many times, I'm ready to burn that biyotch.

Wait, let me 'splain - I've gotten pickier about who I chose to spend time with. Excluding blue-collar men, brothers lacking some college education, brothers looking for a "casual" friend, brothers lacking fashion sense, and/or the overly arrogant because they're over 35 and single brothas, etc. So, despite my friends attempts to hook me up, and the volumes of married men trying to get at me, or brothers who frankly are still "chillin", I'm k-solo. The applicants are no longer even making it through my pre-screening process. According to E, I'm a Terry McMillan character. I refuse to travel to Jamaica to get my 'groove back', on the grounds that it may "Star Jones" me.

There was that one dude, the non-brotha, but he's on the married suspects list. Oh well.

theVolunteering:: Mentoring is going fine. However, I'm disappointed about the grant we're trying to give away. Non-profit work is a hustle, and lots of folks are getting rich off it. I just had no idea that it was as slick as a new marketing campaign for an iShuffle.

theEverdayThings theKids are fine, theCrib's coming along, theHealth's what it is, and right now, it is fine (although a diet & exercise would be a beautiful thing). Overall, the word copacetic comes to mind.

theRain:: O-kaay. I'm going to avoid melodrama here, and just say that I've been off & on depressed for quite some time. Not in a "glass half empty" way, but moreso in a "is this the life that I wanted?" way. This has been lately exacerbated by the situation with theGig and theLoveLife (and theCrib, which is a whole lotta work that I'd love to share..lol).

A while ago, I worked on a project for an African-American Studies: Marriage & Relationship class, on Leanita McClain. Ms. McClain committed suicide in 1984, as a result of many factors, including "the isolation she grappled with as a result of her success". That's a very succinct answer to the question of Why, but if you want to know more, I uploaded Bebe Moore Campbell's essay "To Be Gifted, Black and Alone" which goes into much greater depth about what Leanita dealt with before her death.

I'm sharing all this, because I relate much, much too closely with her state of mind, and the feelings that she may have struggled with. I've got my own demons, most that you know about, and some I don't allude to but you can probably guess. theRain is that, personified, me struggling with these demons, trying to figure out why the life I created is still unsatisfying, and how I can fix that. I'm still struggling with it. It's a pull-up-your-girdle-and-keep-it-moving-process, occasionally (2-3X/qtr) involving alcohol and a support system that spans this country, but the struggle continues. As Kathy Y. Wilson so eloquenty put in the Cincinnati CityBeat, January 2005:

~ Internalized self-destruction as escapism from external destruction is a despicable non-option.

I'm avoiding addictions both "real" and "retail", as well as suicide both "real" and "corporate". I'm keeping on, and I'll be fine, as long as I ackowledge theRain is real, and I've got a right to be frustrated when it shows up. "nuff said.

Count 'em: TWO. Not one, but TWO.

Currently, my laptop AND desktop are dead. Not blue screen of death dead, but black screen & command prompt dead. Meanwhile, I have to act like the geek I'm really not, and fix both.

*sighs*

I'll holla lata.

A reminder - Episode 3 comes on tonite at 9pm.





Okay so Episode Three comes on tonight, on Sundance (check your local listings or their site for more details). If you've missed the previous Episodes, clips are available on Sundance's site (thanks, Melanie for the heads up).

I have more goodies: another clip from House of Boateng, Episode 3 featuring his kids. Hope you enjoy.

Remember, I'm holding a Boateng Trivia Contest, thru July 31st. The winner gets a Boateng Prize Pack, which includes a Sundance hat, t-shirt, Boateng cologne and a Sundance festival DVD. To win, simply, watch the show for the next five weeks and answer a few questions.

Here's the Super Easy trivia quiz1

a) Who are the potential business partners Ozwald interviews? (from episode 2)
b) What's the suit color and name of the first model that appears on the runway in the Givency show? (from episode 3)
c) Which site is Ozwald & contemporaries' favorite NY retail location? (from episode 4)
d) What's the problem with the Milan show? (from episode 4)
e) Which major American draft brewery consults Boateng for a redesign? (from episode 5, but a freebie perhaps?)
f) Which Academy Award nominee/presenter does Boateng consider outfitting first? (from episode 6, but I want the first one considered, not the ones who wore him - methinks we already know who they are...lol)

Mail your responses to me here, and only here: saga's Boateng Contest
again, I wouldn't go rattling off answers in the comments if I were you (I'm greedy, and I don't like to share), but if y'all want to collabo, and split the pack....ok, I'm not making any suggestions ;-)

So, the contest ends July 31st, and I'll judge responses August 1st thru August 5th. Mail responses only to the address mentioned above. The first respondent with the most correct answers, wins. And I'll be watching along with y'all, to get the answers myself....lol. I'll be back later with episodic updates...and maybe hints, hm...

(aside: first respondent by my mail's receipt timestamps. Don't try to cheat - I'll know!)

Aight, go, watch, email, prize. It's easy.

a little rain

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they say into each life a little rain must fall...

It's raining...

I'll be back when it let's up.