sagaciously is...

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July 23, 2006

site down....?

er...did anyone notice a little service disruption?

lol - nah, I wouldn't have either 'cept I had something i wanted to post. Seems some power outages are affecting service, etc. Meanwhile, er...me being the bad geek that I am, I haven't backed up a single thing on this site....

...let me get busy.

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July 20, 2006

spam alert

and now a brief pause for a chuckle....

I got this IM on Yahoo just now:

I_M_dumb_a$$: DEAR GOD:

I want to thank You for what you have already done. I am not going to wait until I see results or receive rewards; I am thanking you right now. I am not going to wait until I feel better or things look better; I am thanking you right now. I am not going to wait until people say they are sorry or until they stop talking about me; I am thanking you right now. I am not going to wait until the pain in my body disappears ; I am thanking you right now. I am not going to wait until my financial situation improves; I am going to thank you right now. I am not going to wait until the children are asleep and the house is quiet; I am going to thank you right now. I am not going to wait until I get promoted at work or until I get the job; I am going to thank you right now. I am not going...

my response: um, I'm pretty sure that you sent this message/prayer to the wrong person. I am NOT GOD, and I'm also pretty sure he doesn't use Yahoo messenger.

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July 16, 2006

EJ's Birthday Brunch

The Details (click the graphic to view the evite):

Host: saga
Location: Chequer's Seafood Grill
236 Perimeter Pkwy NE, Atlanta, GA
When: Sunday, July 23, 11:00am
Phone: 770-391-9383
It's that time, time to celebrate the birth of your favorite DJ, the one, the only EJ. Please join us in lifting our glasses (and forks) to honor Mr. Flavors.

note: EJ will NOT be providing the music for a change ;)

If I missed ya, it was purely an oversite - holla at me and I'll add you!

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July 15, 2006

The Myth of the Angry Black Woman

don't believe the hype?:: Somehow, I missed the memo that this was a hot topic. Apparently, that memo went out to many major media outlets, and particularly the blogosphere. I googled the words "Angry Black Woman" and got back 35,700 hits. Not a lot, but definitely not a little. You can see some of the results here. Some are a little dated, but the perception/stereotype still persists.

ok, technically I got the memo, but I ignored it. Being an admitted Strong Black Woman, from a lineage of SBW's, I knew there was a connotation signifying also being an Angry Black Woman, but I chose to not take on that role. However, for many reasons (including DP's prodding me into reading some things that pissed me completely off), it seems I have to visit this subject again.

Yes, I said again. I skirted this subject a while back, but I apparently need to look at it from a different angle.

Angry Black Woman - the definition:: there are as many, as there are opinions about the subject. I guess the best I can do is try to create an accurate characterization: it's a woman, who through self-definition or circumstance deems herself to be independent and/or self-reliant, who admittedly will not tolerate any bullshyt, and who voices her opinions (according to some, whether she's qualified to, or not) about black men to anyone willing to listen. She's attitudinal, and negative, and happy to voice both at the drop of a topic. And she's got a network of sisterfriends validating her feelings, further fueling the negativity. She's bitter and fearful, and the two are a lethal combination both on a micro scale (for her potential to meet a suitable mate) and a macro scale (destroying the black family and subsequently the black community).

Alrighty then.

yeah, I qualify:: on many counts, not the least of which is my self-reliance or willingness to declare the sweeping generalization to anyone that listens an opinion which restates the obvious: black men have issues. Now, having said that, let me drop a huge caveat here: that opinion doesn't exempt anyone else (black, white, other, man, woman, other) from also having the aforementioned issues/opinions. So, I'm guessing that white women, and black men are also Angry Black Women (as well as Kathy Griffin). But those of you who read this site regularly know that I have made that statement before, so I'd be foolish to deny it.

so, what now?:: ugh, it's this: I'm running across these intellectually "strong black men" and they're finding me to be, er - too much of a "challenge". Or too "complicated". Or too "masculine". Or too "aggressive". Or not ___ enough. And no, it's not just me, it's my cohorts, my contemporaries, my sisterfriends both online and offline. We're having encounters with brothas who basically find us to be "too" much or not enough, and are moving on to easier conquests or suitable mates. Or something along those lines.

It's almost as if, this Myth was just that at the time of it's re-emergence: a myth. A re-invention of the Sapphire stereotype, retooled to "fit" into a modern context, and promoted as a viable answer to the many questions of why black women and men cannot "get along". HOWS-N-EVER, it has now seeped surreptitiously into popular consciousness, so intrinsic that those that toss out the stereotype don't even realize what the original sterotype referred to. It's easy to chalk up a woman's contrary opinions to her 'negativity" and dismiss her as one of "those" chicks, the black b*tch, a certified member of the She-Woman Man Haterz club. So now, folks just toss it out there, and it seemingly sticks.

breakin' it down, so it can forever and consistently be broke:: DP put me on to this article, by an author who apparently has written a book related to this very subject. The original incensifier (fyi - I know that's not a word, it's a joke). Now, let me break down my problem with this article, and others similar to this:

• the Esteemed Authors references - it pains me when writers just throw out the name of someone "esteemed" to legitimize their opinion. I'm guessing that Zora Neale Hurston probably would've been characterized (unfairly) as an angry black woman, had she been born into this generation.


• the proverbial breakin' me down, first - is it necessary to insult my achievements, in order for us to have a conversation? I'll give the author some credit, the statements toward the end about self-examination and the need for love have merit. But you can't insult me, then expect me to hear much of what you're saying. Not without first responding to the insult.


• critical = angry? - if I'm critical (in general) about black men, based upon my experiences with them (dating, work, family, et. al.) does that equate to negativity? If so, does that then equate to anger? Or is it in the message receiver's colored perception?


• communication stategies - yes, I know messages are to be coded so that the receiver "gets it" but I also know that culturally this is just different in our community. Anyone versed in the "deep-seated pathologies" that plague our community will know that black women are much more critical about each other, than they are about black men. We're forward/honest. And we'd rather take our criticism to its source. Essence articles aside.


• about Essence and its ilk - theres a body of intellectual women who consciously forgo Essence, because like its white counterparts (glamour, cosmo, mademoiselle) it sells sensationalism. Not underestimating the sheeplike tendencies that may pervade women's collective thoughts, but just because Essence screams repeatedly "Men Are XXX", doesn't mean that ABW's collectively go "yeah, that's true!"


• the sisterfriend social club - despite this characterization in popular media (Something New, Stella Gets Her Groove, Mad Black Woman, etc.) this doesn't happen nearly as often, or as intensely as it's been reported. Although there is such a thing as the "sorry a$$ brotha" call.


• ABW advice - tied directly to the social club, women are NOT advising one another to cross social boundaries, and date interracially, or "extra"-sexually (lesbiaism, anyone?). My best girlfriends make it a point to tell me to relax my standards, give a brother a break, and 'get some' more often than not.


• the implied rejection - this characterization is dismissive, is it any wonder that a dialogue is impossible? So black men aren't trying to hear ABW's criticism, and ABW's are allegedly either forcing them away, or turning to greener grass. Meanwhile, the stereotype persists.

more on rejection:: see, it's almost as if there's a bevy of ABW's out here, calling brothers sorry, and turning their backs on them. Refusing to deal with them, angrily sitting in front of the computer (am I telling on myself?), lashing back out, shouting with their actions, their high-paid/high-profile jobs, incomes and lifestyles:

WE DON'T NEED YOU! WE CAN DO FINE BY OURSELVES!

*giggles* That's definitely not what's happening though. What's happening is brothers are using this stereotype as an excuse to engage in unmanly, uncivil, disrespectful, infantile and non-nurturing behaviors. And sisters are becoming more accepting of them, because - newsflash - the black community is in shambles, and black men have issues. Sisters are buying into this, and helping to perpetuate the ABW myth. So they go out of their way to prove they're not an ABW, and accept brothers that are "sorry". It's an updated case of the victim being blamed, and accepting responsibility for being victimized, yes. But it's also an updated case of long-held stereotypes being perpetuated. Alls I'm saying is, be concious of what you bring to life. If you go into a situation prepared for a sister to be "negative" and she shares her experience, and that experience is negative, it's pretty easy to make the leap that she's an ABW. It's so much harder to say, "you know, your concerns are legitimate, but that's not me" - and then prove it. Which is why I disliked Diary of a Mad Black Woman (and its ilk) so much, because it was so farfetched. Most brothers, given a perceived ABW (even if she was legitimately angry) would cut tail and run in the other direction.

some real-life dating examples: I'm dating er, a few different people. Not sexing, just dating, trying to get to know them better. In the last 2 weeks:
~ a first-dater suggested that he wanted to see me naked. Right then.
~ a dater "interviewed" me, and suggested I was a challenge, but he figured I was "tameable"
~ a dater no-showed (no call, nothing)
~ a dater lied about his current state of employment

I've love to say these are exceptions, but they're not. My sisterfriends share similar stories with me. So if a sister comes at you outta pocket (as I know many women do) don't just dismiss her, but at least ponder the reasons why.

I love black men. Love them like I love my left arm, because frankly, I couldn't do much without it. And when I (and my sistren) are critical, it's because I/we still care. But fellas, for real, y'all got to do better. And when you do, only then will we become less "angry". Not that I'm admitting we are.

Posted by saga_30311 at 01:57 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

July 12, 2006

What the Fug?

If you're not already familiar, fug is a reference, a site and typically a sight as well. And yesterday as I was trolling through my bloglines I read the funniest shyt I've read in a whiiiile.

You should probably check it out for yourself: Go Fug Yourself's take on Shar Fugson.

man-wand?!!!! *uncontrollable giggles start again* I can't even read that anymore....lol.

Posted by saga_30311 at 02:34 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 11, 2006

the Freak/Sex meme

timing is everything. I "borrowed" this from SJ, the infamous and it's timed right (although the answer to everything is probably no)....lol

1. HAVE YOU GOTTEN LAID IN 2006?
2006? How about in this century...?

2. EVER HAD SEX IN A PUBLIC PLACE?
Yes. Once outside in my ex's first floor courtyard. Shared courtyard. At 10AM. On a Saturday....

3. EVER LAUGH DURING SEX? IF SO WHY?
Yes. Absurd animal sounds anyone?

4. EVER CRY DURING SEX? IF SO WHY?
Yes. For both good and bad reasons.

5. DO YOU LIKE TO CUDDLE AFTER SEX?
More often than not, 'specially since I'm anti-bootycall.

6. EVER REGRET SEX WITH SOMEONE?
Although I don't "do" regret, there are two. One whom you know...

7. EVER FAKED AN ORGASM?
Gotta keep a good "forgasm" in your repertoire to keep things moving

8. DIRTY TALK, OR SHUT THE FUCK UP?
Oh it was ME making the animal sounds....lol. But nah, shut up - unless you're REALLY good.

9. EVER HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX?
this question is probably shocking for folks under 30

10. EVER MASTERBATE TO YOUR FRIENDS SIGNIFICANT OTHER?
I'm a dirty girl....hm....er, just no.

11. EVER HAVE A ONE NIGHT STAND?
No - they're expensive and somewhat useless. Oh, you mean sex?! Then, yes.

12. HOW BOUT A 3-SOME?
Nope.

13. EVER WATCH PORN DURING SEX?
Yes. Oh you mean with someone else...also, yes.

14. EVER THOUGHT OF SOMEONE ELSE DURING SEX?
Yes. Orrin Hatch. (I keed!)

15. HAS THE CONDOM EVER BROKE?
I think he pierced it intentionally

16. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING SEXUAL EXPERIENCE?
In college, my boyfriend and I were loudly going at it, and his roommate walked in without knocking. And stood there. Silently. Watching. For about as long as it took you to read this. When we finally realized he was there, the BF finally had to throw a shoe at him to get him to leave...and no, we never broke stride either.

17. HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU LOST YOUR VIRGINITY?
Too young...

18. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE SEX WITH RIGHT NOW?
hm....there's this guy I know that lives 2,658.5 miles away. Not that i've been thinking about it or anything...

19. DO YOU THINK THAT number 18 IS POSSIBLE?
if you have airline miles you'd like to donate to the "get saga laid" fund, I'd appreciate it.

20. ARE YOU HORNY NOW?
Just finished chatting with aforementioned guy. Guess.

21. WOULD U HAVE SEX WITH THE PERSON THAT POSTED THIS?
She's cute, but missing some essential equipment....lol

Posted by saga_30311 at 10:22 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

July 09, 2006

OE - I'm ba-ack?

Ok, so here's the deal:

thePC's:: Yes, my primary PC crashed completely. Windows reinstall, missing drivers, data is here (somewhat) , applications aren't, so the system is wrecked. My backup PC is still fried. My geekiness is highly suspect for letting this happen.

theGig:: Some things have gone on at the gig. I'm still employed, but supremely not happy. SUPREMELY. No, my job wasn't in jeopardy. My integrity was/is. I'll try to expand on this later.

theLoveLife:: *sighs* news-anti-flash - black men have issues. And so do men of other races. I've thrown the towel in and snatched it back so many times, I'm ready to burn that biyotch.

Wait, let me 'splain - I've gotten pickier about who I chose to spend time with. Excluding blue-collar men, brothers lacking some college education, brothers looking for a "casual" friend, brothers lacking fashion sense, and/or the overly arrogant because they're over 35 and single brothas, etc. So, despite my friends attempts to hook me up, and the volumes of married men trying to get at me, or brothers who frankly are still "chillin", I'm k-solo. The applicants are no longer even making it through my pre-screening process. According to E, I'm a Terry McMillan character. I refuse to travel to Jamaica to get my 'groove back', on the grounds that it may "Star Jones" me.

There was that one dude, the non-brotha, but he's on the married suspects list. Oh well.

theVolunteering:: Mentoring is going fine. However, I'm disappointed about the grant we're trying to give away. Non-profit work is a hustle, and lots of folks are getting rich off it. I just had no idea that it was as slick as a new marketing campaign for an iShuffle.

theEverdayThings theKids are fine, theCrib's coming along, theHealth's what it is, and right now, it is fine (although a diet & exercise would be a beautiful thing). Overall, the word copacetic comes to mind.

theRain:: O-kaay. I'm going to avoid melodrama here, and just say that I've been off & on depressed for quite some time. Not in a "glass half empty" way, but moreso in a "is this the life that I wanted?" way. This has been lately exacerbated by the situation with theGig and theLoveLife (and theCrib, which is a whole lotta work that I'd love to share..lol).

A while ago, I worked on a project for an African-American Studies: Marriage & Relationship class, on Leanita McClain. Ms. McClain committed suicide in 1984, as a result of many factors, including "the isolation she grappled with as a result of her success". That's a very succinct answer to the question of Why, but if you want to know more, I uploaded Bebe Moore Campbell's essay "To Be Gifted, Black and Alone" which goes into much greater depth about what Leanita dealt with before her death.

I'm sharing all this, because I relate much, much too closely with her state of mind, and the feelings that she may have struggled with. I've got my own demons, most that you know about, and some I don't allude to but you can probably guess. theRain is that, personified, me struggling with these demons, trying to figure out why the life I created is still unsatisfying, and how I can fix that. I'm still struggling with it. It's a pull-up-your-girdle-and-keep-it-moving-process, occasionally (2-3X/qtr) involving alcohol and a support system that spans this country, but the struggle continues. As Kathy Y. Wilson so eloquenty put in the Cincinnati CityBeat, January 2005:

~ Internalized self-destruction as escapism from external destruction is a despicable non-option.

I'm avoiding addictions both "real" and "retail", as well as suicide both "real" and "corporate". I'm keeping on, and I'll be fine, as long as I ackowledge theRain is real, and I've got a right to be frustrated when it shows up. "nuff said.

Posted by saga_30311 at 12:06 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

July 08, 2006

a case of the dead pc's....

Count 'em: TWO. Not one, but TWO.

Currently, my laptop AND desktop are dead. Not blue screen of death dead, but black screen & command prompt dead. Meanwhile, I have to act like the geek I'm really not, and fix both.

*sighs*

I'll holla lata.

Posted by saga_30311 at 11:49 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

July 06, 2006

House of Boateng - Update

A reminder - Episode 3 comes on tonite at 9pm.

Okay so Episode Three comes on tonight, on Sundance (check your local listings or their site for more details). If you've missed the previous Episodes, clips are available on Sundance's site (thanks, Melanie for the heads up).

I have more goodies: another clip from House of Boateng, Episode 3 featuring his kids. Hope you enjoy.

Remember, I'm holding a Boateng Trivia Contest, thru July 31st. The winner gets a Boateng Prize Pack, which includes a Sundance hat, t-shirt, Boateng cologne and a Sundance festival DVD. To win, simply, watch the show for the next five weeks and answer a few questions.

Here's the Super Easy trivia quiz1

a) Who are the potential business partners Ozwald interviews? (from episode 2)
b) What's the suit color and name of the first model that appears on the runway in the Givency show? (from episode 3)
c) Which site is Ozwald & contemporaries' favorite NY retail location? (from episode 4)
d) What's the problem with the Milan show? (from episode 4)
e) Which major American draft brewery consults Boateng for a redesign? (from episode 5, but a freebie perhaps?)
f) Which Academy Award nominee/presenter does Boateng consider outfitting first? (from episode 6, but I want the first one considered, not the ones who wore him - methinks we already know who they are...lol)

Mail your responses to me here, and only here: saga's Boateng Contest
again, I wouldn't go rattling off answers in the comments if I were you (I'm greedy, and I don't like to share), but if y'all want to collabo, and split the pack....ok, I'm not making any suggestions ;-)

So, the contest ends July 31st, and I'll judge responses August 1st thru August 5th. Mail responses only to the address mentioned above. The first respondent with the most correct answers, wins. And I'll be watching along with y'all, to get the answers myself....lol. I'll be back later with episodic updates...and maybe hints, hm...

(aside: first respondent by my mail's receipt timestamps. Don't try to cheat - I'll know!)

Aight, go, watch, email, prize. It's easy.

Posted by saga_30311 at 04:19 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

a little rain

they say into each life a little rain must fall...

It's raining...

I'll be back when it let's up.

Posted by saga_30311 at 04:17 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack