sagaciously is...

* in best Puffy impression* This is the re-post...I thought I told you that we won't stop....ok, yeah, corny, but this is closely related to being a hustla. You may want to revisit those posts.

Aight, so I inadvertently vamped again. Some combo of work, school ending, mentoring, daily grind, etc. Well, honestly, for the most part it's been work, and I'll elaborate.

A Brief History of Paranoia:: I'm a Yankee at heart. Not a Big Apple Yankee, but a New York Yankee nevertheless. And I will admit: I am more than a little paranoid. Let me 'splain: I don't always look over my shoulder, because I don't have to. I already know what's there.

When you grow up, peeping out the situation, having to slide through, watchin your back, your front, and your sides too, you tend to note what's there. So yeah, duplicated footsteps too close to me, will cause me to stop and fake a shoe tie, to let that person pass. Someone brushing past me inherently causes me to adjust my purse, and make sure it's still zipped, wallet inside. I may not remember what a Louie's Hot Dog tastes like, but I do know how to avoid being an easy target. Some things you never forget.

the paranoid routine::Being a semi-reformed Yankee has served me well, living in a city that I'm unfamiliar with, or even while traveling, on many occasions. I'll give you an example: Several women close to me have gotten "got". Mugged, robbed, car-jacked, chain's snatched, etc. Friends, coworkers, colleagues, etc. Now, I don't want to increase my statistical probability by speaking on this, but it seems there are a few simple things you can do to avoid making yourself an easy target:

• watch your surroundings:: a girlfriend of mine got car-jacked at a gas station about a mile from her apartment. She was on her cellphone, next to a dark alley, and didn't see the guy walk out of the alley, until he was already up on her. And my head said "yo, I saw that one coming". She had a habit of becoming engrossed in her convo's and ignoring everything from traffic (women & cellphones, ugh) to her surroundings. And subsequently got "got".


• never take kindness for weakness:: I'm amazed that people fall for old-school tricks. 5 dudes that smoke, walk up on you, and none of them has a light? Someone asks me for something at the bottom of my purse, that forces me to rummage through it, while I've got cash in my hands? You want me to help you carry your bags? Or invade my personal space, allegedly being nice? Not the kid, I don't care what anyone thinks - I'll help you out, on my own terms. Maybe. Maybe not. Depends on how obvious you are about trying to "get" at me.


• watch the people around you:: yes, I almost got "got" myself, yesterday. I'm parked at a gas station, waiting for a call (for directions). Meanwhile, this guy in a cadillac pulls into the same gas station, stops, and stares at me, until I notice him, then pulls off. 3 minutes later, he pulls back in, at my passenger side door. He gets out, and walks over to the next parking lot (?), at Mrs. Winners. Then, another car pulls directly in front of me, so close that I can no longer pull straight out. I notice I'm now blocked in on 3 sides: driver's side is next to the station, car in front, and cadillac guy on passenger side. Cadillac guy walks back with a sweet tea (no food). Oh HELLS naw. I hurry up and back out, and pull out of the parking lot, then onto the interstate. Yes, paranoid, but paranoid and safe.


• if it smells like bullshyt:: it's probably not a rose. No matter what Outkast (or anyone else says). My best friend in High School lost her school ring during a game of 3-card Monty (if you don't know what this is, email me) that I refused to play. 'Cause it sounded too easy. But I'm not immune to this. I once gave a homeless pregnant chick $5 to stay in a shelter, only to watch her hop in a car, and give my $5 to her man. I pray he didn't let her hit the rock that they bought with it.


• pick your battles:: ok, so you got caught slippin', and now you gotta figure a way out, minimizing the damage. 5 guys wanting a light is definitely not the situation where you want to make your stand. Neither is when someone pulls a knife on you while you rummage through your purse. But, if someone does invade your space, quicken your step. Maybe even run. Or at least knee the n*gga in the balls, I'm jes saying. You have to know when to hold'em....you know the rest.

Work-Paranoia:: I work in a Corporate environment. Uber-Corporate. Old School, Bricks-n-Mortar corporate. Think: on-the-Fortune-500-pre-Internet Corporate. So, given my environment, paranoia is probably the rule, not the exception. Hyper-competitive to get in, hyper-competitive to stay in, hyper-competitive to get ahead. Folks get their MBA's just to give them an edge to get here, m'kay?

Now, I know I have complained about work, some complaints warranted, some...well....like my colleagues say, it's typical corporate BullShyt. Yes, employees here are subject to joining the corporate Witness Protection Program (they get missing fast, and the spiel is they were seeking "better opportunities" but we know they didn't ALL quit. Not even our COO was immune to this.) I know where I work, the environment in which I operate, and I also know that a healthy dose of paranoia is a good thing. Key words: healthy dose. Good Thing.

How do these basic principles relate? An example: a colleague and I work on the same team, same type of project, started around the same time frame. So, she was expressing her concerns (complaining) about one of our projects, and the lack of support from our leads and Project Manager. So, I tried to instill a healthy dose of paranoia:

• watch your surroundings:: our team is mostly women, mostly black. Our boss is a black woman. Our lead is black. We've got people all around us looking for our team to fail, for many reasons that mostly boil down to our apparently lack of diversity. Said boss and leads are covering their asses, and covering our collective asses, in that order. They don't have time to provide support.


• never take kindness for weakness:: One of the stakeholders on my current project flies private airplanes as a hobby, and offered to take a couple of us to see his private airstrip he's building in NC. A really mild-mannered nice Project Manager, he makes it a point to facilitate our relationship with his employees, and network with the other managers. Oh, until you piss him off that is. Then he's liable to tell you what you're saying is absolute "horse-shyt" on a conference call, and refuse to participate in meetings. And then hang up. And refuse to take your calls. Until you make nice. Seriously. I gotta admit, he gained a lot more respect with his bad behavior, than the offer of plane rides, trust.


• watch the people around you:: there's an enemy amongst us, that looks like us, talks like us, wants to be "down". But is supremely unhappy with her current career situation. She's the proverbial snake on the plan, doesn't care who she bites, if she's backed in the corner. Not the one you want to cover for, or depend on.


• if it smells like bullshyt:: You cannot collect unemployment for quitting a job in an at-will state, no matter how much your boss tells you "he's got your back". If you can't get promoted because you can't spell, and you're not a writer, there's definitely a bigger problem. If your boss writes you up for a infraction that happened offsite, after work hours, and when you dispute this, changes the date/time so that it falls in scope of your gig and HR approves this, it's time to talk to your lawyer. And if you're a programmer, and your boss suggests that you're probably "not all that technical" you need to refute that. Prove him wrong. Or seek more gainful employment. Even corporate roses smell like boo-boo.


• pick your battles:: I'm working on a project I'm overqualified for. For no-pay-raise. With more hours. And inherently limiting my opportunities in my current department. Sounds dope-fiend, right? Why would I do this? Well, it increases my opportunities outside my current department (mind you: the same department that refuses to promote me) as well as outside my company (the company that refuses to allow many people of my color to hold positions of power). It also aligns more closely with my MBA. I chose this position, not vice-versa. I have a long term strategy to win the war, f*ck a battle.

back to the elaboration:: I've been swamped, working my plan, not letting the BullShyt work me. Yes, I'm paranoid. But I'm also not blind to the machinations of the Corporate Culture that I fight from within. They may be trying to indoctrinate me into the Cult of the Corporate Whore, and I may know it, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna make the shyt easy. So yeah, I'm sitting at Starbuck's, cellphone, laptop, Flash drive, wallet, car keys out in plain view, easily reachable, and for the hungry thief , easily grab-able. And I've got on 4 1/2 inch stillettos. But I doubt anyone would try me. Straight hair, or not - I'm still saga, Sagacious Lee.