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October 26, 2006

Other Bloggers: Oscar in Louisville

Remember I alluded to other blogs I love to read? Yeah, Oscar in Louisville's my blog bro-in-law (er, methinks) - since he was introduced to me by my blog hubby (hey DP, hey FW - girl, it's in name only, I got your back... TRUST ME!!!)

But Oscar's been doing his thing for a while, and I gotta admit, if you're looking for political commentary (or a spiritual word) he does both well. An excerpt:

When I talk to Republicans they often comment that I don't sound like a liberal, and they're right. When I talk to Democrats they often note that I don't sound like a liberal, and they're right. In fact, one of the very few things that my Democratic and Republican friends could agree upon is the fact that I think and sound much more like the people who constitute the Republican base than those who constitute the Democratic base. So why is it that I am a Democrat, and a partisan one at that? It's really not that complex:

NIGGER PLEASE

That NIGGER PLEASE line is a link to a story you really SHOULD know about, but you're going to have to check out Oscar's post to get to it. You can read Oscar's full post here.

I love the fact that he blogs (reads and reports) my mind, but in such an intellectual way, that it's uber-friggin sexy. Ah, I'm sucker for a man that can drop multi-syllabic politically charged gems in the same sentence as the F***-bomb. Oh, oops...I guess I shouldn't be lusting after my blog bro-in-law, 'specially since he's very spiritual...I'm SO bad. Just check him out already!

Posted by saga_30311 at 10:33 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

October 25, 2006

"Lynched" video banned from YouTube

Let me preface this by saying that YouTube has torn at the very fabric of my personal consciousness. I believe that a great deal of videos on YouTube are of da debil, even as I enjoy a lot of YouTube content on the regular...lol. I just hope the Google purchase doesn't end up equating to corporate censorship.

And on that note, you wanna get some background on the video, the ban, and the Artist - NYOIL:
Video for "Yall Should All Get Lynched
Interview with the Artist, NYOIL

My thoughts:
On the one hand, I can remember a time when this could easily have been a real song/video - released by a controversial hip-hop group (like Public Enemy / BDP, etc.) willing to spark controversy about a subject that NEEDS to be addressed. It's interesting yet sad that social protests in hip hop music aren't allowed air time anymore (appropriate or inappropriate). Seems that there's too much $$ on the line to give any consideration to music with a message. But yes, some of these hip-hop artists need a beat down, to get hemmed up by the "Drop Squad", and taught a hard lesson about the images and messages they're putting out, fa sho'.

On the other hand - NO WAY THAT ANY OF THOSE GROUPS I MENTIONED WOULD'VE CONDONED USING THOSE IMAGES OR THE REFERENCES TO LYNCHINGS. Pics of actual lynchings / references to them being lynched? To highlight the sad state of hip-hop? It's demeaning to the suffering associated with lynching, the ideas behind lynching, etc. Not that the misogyny/commercialism/violence/sel f-hatred in hip-hop isn't serious, but equating it with lynching? It's too much.

And yeah - I can't help but be skeptical about why NYOil may have released this - like controversy breeds publicity - which breeds interest. I could care less whether he shows his face or not, but this screams of hype regardless. I want to believe his reason are complete selfless, and altruistic, but....I'm jaded. Real jaded. Too many hip-hop kids have shed their conscious for the almighty $. Hell, I thought 50 Cent was gonna save hip-hop when he did a guest on "How To Rob" - da hell was I thinking?

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October 23, 2006

the little things

It has long been an axiom of mine that the little things are infinitely the most important ~ Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

reddress.jpeg

I woke up that morning, dress uber-professionally & hurriedly, knowing that I had to appear in court, sans lawyer, and plead my case to the judge. So, while I donned a suit, it wasn't my best one - just a skirt, dress shirt, and conservative heels. I rehearsed in my head (for the 30th time) how I'd ask the judge for a reduction in my fine, as I grabbed my suit jacket off the kitchen chair. The red dress pin you see, a thank you gift for a donation I'd made to the American Heart Association's Red Dress campaign, was still stuck through the lapel. I considered removing it, but was in a hurry, and forgot it swiftly in my haste as I dashed out the door. I didn't want to be late for court.

You see, I'd gotten cited for my little traffic faux-pas, the one I alluded to previously. And on advice of counsel, I'd planned on going to court by myself, take a guilty plea, and ask for a fine reduction. Then hope the party whose car my car struck, didn't decide to sue. I just wanted to get through court with minimal damage to my wallet, and minimal damage to another potential court date.

As I walked into court, asking for directions, the court clerk stopped me, and complimented me: "I like your pin". I thanked her, and she pleasantly not only sent me in the right direction, but instructed me to listen carefully to my judge, who "is real long-winded, but very fair". I thought her statement was kind of curious, but hoped that the fair part applied. When I got in the courtroom, another person asked if I was a lawyer. Had I not already glanced aroung the courtroom, I may have thought the question strange. However, most of those appearing in court, for either traffic or minor drug offenses, were very casually dressed - jeans, or khakis, etc. Even the court clerks had on gauchos and off the shoulder tops. The only people in suits were the lawyers, prosecutors, and me.

And yes, the judge was long-winded. 35 minutes of instruction long-winded. I'll spare you the details, but I will say his instructions were very useful. He told us about a Community Service Program being offered by this jurisdiction, where you can work off your fine and/or jail time, by volunteering for XX number of hours, at the non-profit of your choice. In this case, your court case is reset for another 60-90 days, to allow you time to complete your community service. Then all you have to do is present a note, on the non-profit's letterhead, stating the community service has been completed, the number of hours completed, signed by an officer at the non-profit. And they will dismiss your case. No jail time, no fine, no points on license, and no increased insurance rates. The only catch: your driving record has to be clear.

Um, yeah - y'all know about my lead-foot, right? I caught a lil ticket a while back, for following an emergency vehicle (within 200 ft). Yeah, that's an actual offense. Yeah, I pled No Contest. Yeah, my driving record wasn't clear.

So, I proceed to plead guilty, ask for a reduction of the fine. The gaucho wearing court clerk directs me to wait to talk to the judge. I wait, but the Prosecutor calls me first. Never glancing my way, he asks what I'm waiting for, and as I nervously explain that I want the fine reduced....he glances at the Red Dress.
And the Prosecutor goes: "ok, let me look....hm...yes, you only have the one citation, so that's fine...you want Time to Pay, or Community Service?"
me: "uh, Community Service if I'm eligible...."
Prosecutor: "No problem. I'll reduce the fine from $XXX to $XX...
me: "Ok, thanks...."
Prosecutor: "we'll reset your case, and give you XX days in jail in lieu of the fine...and then you can serve X hours of community service in lieu of the fine, or the jail time"
me, breathing again: "thanks...I really appreciate it"
Prosecutor, glancing at the Red Dress again: "no, thank you."

As I left the courtroom smiling a little, the cleark that complimented me on my pin said goodbye, and added "I knew you'd do well". I don't know if it was the suit, or the pin, or my non-negative attitude. Either way, I was just happy to get off with the fine reduction. I don't know why the Prosecutor was so enamored of my pin, but my guess would be that he's had a woman in his life who was affected by heart disease, a wife, mother, secretary, clerk, etc. So maybe my wearing that red dress, helps her wear her red dress.

Now, I've got friends who complain a lot about not getting a "hook-up" or a break. Hell, I've even complained about getting railroaded by the "system", or "the man", or some minor circumstance that didn't fall in my favor, causing me all kinds of drama. And we all know cases where someone commits some major crime, and gets a slap on the wrist. I guess what I've learned is, sometimes you've gotta make things happen...and sometimes you've gotta just let things fall into place, but enable things to happen. I didn't wear that Red Dress to get some sympathy from the judge. Did it make/break the situation? Well, would the prosecutor have said "you only have one citation" or "you've already got one citation"?

I happen to have on the suit again this morning. And yes, the dry cleaner handed me the Red Dress pin when I picked it back up, so I stuck it back through the lapel. I straightened it accordingly, and thought to myself that it's sorta my good luck charm, now. It gave me an opportunity, when I felt it was necessary. And that's all the hook-up I needed.

Posted by saga_30311 at 09:36 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

October 19, 2006

Around the Bend

*sigh* Another MIA stint, and another promise to do better. I swear y'all, I really appreciate those who stuck with me, the supportive comments, and "what's up?" emails - 'cause they really keep me going.

But don't get me wrong - a sister is SOOOOOOO excited.

I'm coming around the bend this semester - I can finally hear the Finish Line (even if I can't see it - I know it's there).

The expected graduation date: December 15, 2007!

I got a note from the graduate "facilitator" (basically, the chick that makes it happen) for my school, saying that I need to apply for graduation. Now, it caught me completely offguard, because frankly - I've been staring intently at the bottom of the grindstone, trying to figure out how it sheared my nose clean off.

grindstone

Meanwhile, I'm (sorta) holding my own in some classes (although my prof's have both warned me that while my work is high quality, my attendance is leading me down the road to B), and getting over some hurdles at work.

The downside: I'm seriously thinking I may have to give up this space. Stop blogging completely. See, I know quite a few folks who do this way better than I, and I read them often. It's really making me feel bad about the neglect. Also, there are so many things I should probably be doing with my spare time.

The upside: I'm (planning on) going to South America next year in August, to be exact. My MBA is actually in International Business and Information Technology (undergrad in Computer Information Systems) and requires that I complete a Study Abroad trip before graduation. Well, the trip details have been confirmed ('cept for the $$$ which I need to work on). Basically it's 14 days, 7 in Buenos Aires, Argentina and 7 in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. WOO-HOO!!

The thing about it, is of course - along with the trip being the shiznit - I will want to document it. So I don't want to give up the blog. Well, I have many other reasons, but you get the idea.

So while I'm really excited (about getting closer to graduation, and the trip), I'm also torn. I'm mulling it all over...

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October 05, 2006

SoulMate - film at 11

A friend of mine forwarded this movie trailer to me. Aside: I'm definitely not trying to promote the film, but I have some thoughts. Here's a basic synopsis:

Wiley’s fourth documentary, “Soulmate,” explores the personal challenges faced by African-American women experiencing prolonged singleness. The film looks at the national phenomenon, which has rendered 42.3% of all African-American women single according to recent United States Census Bureau figures, and reveals how many of these highly accomplished professional women have found both joy and purpose in their lives.


http://soulmatefilm.com/thetrailer.htm

my thoughts:: I know I easily qualify to fall into the category of women she's describing above (well, 'cept I don't attend their church, where it appears a lot of these women were assembled). And yeah, it's rough out here - and yeah - brothers need to gather.

I dunno. I'm truly torn.

Part of me feels their pain. Literally. Like the sista who says she's devastated coming home to an empty house - 'cause I've felt that too. Literally. And the sista who is 52, unmarried (and, btw - gorgeous, not that that matters, I'm jes sayin') - who talks about being single & satisfied being a process - oh how I understand that one as well.

*sighs* Hows-n-ever....the DL thang, the Gay thing, the statistical %'s quoted, etc. - all seem very sensationalized.

And let me qualify that by saying that I've looked at the numbers as well (unmarried, divorce rates, etc in US black communities) census data, not the manipulated numbers published in some media outlets (note: you can see it too, just go to census.gov, and you can create your own queries to pull out the numbers you want to see). Ok yes, black women lag white women in getting married, across age ranges. And yes, black women also lag in getting married as they get older, this is true. And yes, these numbers have been increasing over the last few years. And yes, it is a problem. But, Black women have always lagged white women in marriage rates...and this has always increased as women get older (less likely to marry, etc.)

These phrases: "record numbers"? "Dramatically increasing"? Combine that with the soundtrack, the references to the DL, and you've got yourself a topic worthy of an Essence article: "How to find satisfaction in your singleness". Less documentary, more gospel play. Alls I'm saying is, I'm taking this as more for entertainment purposes, or to pull out some positive emotional responses to being an unmarried, older black woman, etc. All that drama embedded in this - I just pray (truly pray - don't take that one lightly, because I'm sincere in this) that my sistren don't take the "dramaticized" portions of this as facts, focus on the negative - and use this as another topic to throw at our men, and continue to write our men off.

I heard someone discussing this, and (as usual) the convo turned to their being "no good men out here" and "crossing the color line". Hmph - that's exactly what old boy was referring to. Now, I can't even blame him for ranting...

Posted by saga_30311 at 11:13 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

October 04, 2006

Dating PSA #6 - The Declaration of InterDependence

bearded_lady.gifaside about that title:: I know that's a loaded title, but I'm feeling a creative plug rightch about now, so that's the closest title I could come up with to get this subject out of my system.

Warning: there's a little piece of this post that's Rated R for mature language.

So I've been dating again. No particular person, so it's nothing serious. Just a few guys, and a few giggles, with no strings attached. And no sex - but that's a whole other post.

The theme, and the twist:: Well, there seems to be a recurring theme on all my dates of late: the "Problem with the Independent Black Woman". Ya think the brethren are trying to tell a sister something? Anywho, the summary is the same story that the media (black outlets as well as national outlets) have been saying for a while: black women are just "too" {independent/strong-willed/aggressive/smart/financially secure/educated/__________ fill in the blank with whatever else comes to mind} and they're pushing black men away. Pushing Away. More on that in a sec.

The twist is: the brothers are using this as a reason {excuse} to opt out of the race. Call it fragginackle bull if you like (which I have), but the brothers are making it a valid one, by buying into it. In other words, instead of stepping up their game - they're searching for easier/more willing targets {prey/victims/partners/_____ - again fill in the blank with your choosing}.

Scenario A - the tired guy:: I'm on the phone with one of said brethren, discussing work/school or something along those lines and how I was competing with a classmate to answer one of my professor's question. "See, that's what's wrong with y'all..." were the beginning words of a 15-minute tirade on the subject of independent black women. Wait, that's a low-estimate - for those of you familiar with Atlanta, he ranted from the Grady Curve all the way to the intersection of 85S @ 285 - about 25 miles? He ranted on everything from the Color Purple to Waiting to Exhale to Oprah to Something New. He ranted so long, I lost interest in the conversation, and used my dying cellphone as an excuse to extricate myself from the call. I haven't heard from him since.

Now, this is a college-educated, professional brother, with a couple of degrees. I'd love to say he was intimidated, but - hell, I don't know that he was. He sounded fed up. Not validating his feelings at all, but objectively - he sounded more tired than pissed off.

Scenario B - puttin' away ya dick...and ya balls:: This other guy (entrepreneur, owns several of his own businesses, etc.) is talking to me about something related to one of his businesses. He's telling me a story, and states something IT-related, some minutiae that I can't even recall now. I do, however, remember that what he said was technically incorrect. So I interrupted him to correct the minutiae, and he stops, sighs and says: "ok, I'mma need you to do something for me." What's that? "I'mma need you to put away ya dick...and ya balls." Now, being that I have a gutter sense of humor and this guy and I have traded barbs for some time now, I knew he was joking, so I fell out laughing...for two days. I literally had the giggles about that line for 48 hours.

Hows-n-ever, DP reminded me (and I love him for this, despite the sting associated with it) that that line is telling...possibly indicating a pattern of behavior, where said brethren prolly has a problem with assertive women correcting him, and that this line (funny or not) could be the tip of an iceberg - an iceberg that I don't want to run across the Titanic that is my life. 'Cause I bee's real independent/assertive rightch about now, and I prolly won't take direction well when it comes to steering that particular ship. Point well taken, noted, and acted upon, DP. Even if that is still a funny line to me.


about ma dyck...and ma balls:: Mr. Entrepreneur & I proceeded later to have a loooong conversation about that statement, which is the whole point of this post. I won't quote verbatim for you, but there were a few salient points that I think I'd like to share:

theEpiphany:: as I'm rambling on, I came to a realization, one that I wouldn't typically admit otherwise. Yeah, I'm a strong, intelligent, educated, financially stable, aggressive black woman. But I long to be vulnerable, and to show that vulnerability to the world. Yeah, I said it: long. I'd love to be perceived as soft, instead of rigid; sensitive, instead of impervious. I'd like to skip through the friggin' daisies, and arrange flowers, cook and decorate - and all that other crap that black men who seem to be obsessed with "traditional" western gender roles imagine comes along with being a woman/wife/significant other (despite the fact that for the greater part of the time that black people have existed in this country, black woman have never really been allowed to actually be that "typical" woman because of circumstances). Bottom line is, I'd love to be supportive and let a brother take the lead role. Love to lay down my reigns. But. I. dayum. can't.

So, if I'm running on type "A" gasoline 24X7, 365 and I come home tripping with my strap-on still strapped on, just try and understand. Stop expecting me to be able to make that transition - from balled Superwoman to June Cleaver - like putting the brakes on in a Ford Focus. We can't go from 60MPH to 0MPH in 0.03 seconds. We SBW's can't just stop on a friggin' dime, and frankly - I think the SBM's out there realize this.

The same way that the brethren want that feminine support (sounds like a Playtex jockstrap), we need the brethren to exercise control in kid gloves, not the iron fist. You want me to take the strap-on off? Fine - just whisper sweetly in my ear: "baby, I'mma need you to do something...I'mma need you to put away ya dyck, and ya balls". And I'll do it. Gladly.

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