Dating PSA #8 - I need Lipstick

aside: the .5 percentile might've been a smidge lofty. This one, not so much....I'll get back to lofty highbrow topics in a bit.

I called E, and the following conversation ensued:

me:: I'm beginning to understand it.
E:: ..understand wha?
me:: star & al?
E:: things cannot have possibly gotten that bad....
me:: no listen - I have an event to attend, sorta important, and I need a date....but they have to be qualified. Not the regular guys I toss back in the water. Its gonna sound elitist, but he's got to be event-worthy....
E:: AHHH, I gotcha...you need the make equivalent of a beard.
me, laughing:: Yeah, but not a merkin...
E:: a who? WTH?

...the conversation ensued. Back to Al & Star - I'm beginning to understand why Star chose Al, and Terri dealt with Jonathan, and so many sistas deal not just with men whose sexuality is in question, but who may be less than ideal. It's not about eye-candy, or money, or even hot sex on a platter. It's about companionship. It's not just about who's going to mow the lawn, or pick the kids up from school, or split the bills. It's about who will support me both in my finest and darkest hours? It's about who will take me to the 1,399th charity function? Who will withstand the level of attention and battery of gossip that I've been dealing with for __ years, and still want to be by my side, just because? Not saying I'm anywhere near the level of Star, or Terri....or Halle...or Oprah, but I do understand it....at my own level. it's hard enough finding someone you're interested in, then add all that additional scrutiny, or the need to avoid it, and it doesn't get any easier.

me:: ....so yeah, I need lipstick.
E:: But not just any old lipstick. You need MAC lipglass.
me:: I'm very upset that you're straight, and yet you know what MAC lipglass is.
E:: Beside the point. The point is that you cannot show up with some Sally Beauty supply lipgloss.
me:: True.
E:: Not only do you need lipstick, but it's also got to be the right shade, and consistency.

So yes, the non-profit work I'm doing is opening certain doors. I have a function. It's not a gala or anything, but it is important and it would be nice to have some candy on my arm. But not just eye-candy. Dude has to be able to socialize with a certain level of sophistication, and not act like a rube. If you're wondering what that is, please look it up before I state the obvious - if you don't know what that is, surely you're probably one. (sorta like the prices not being listed on the menu, and if you have to ask...you can't afford it. but I digress...)

me:: ..hm....I have one and a possible. I hate that my dating existence strongly resembles a bad hand of Spades.
E:: guffaws with laughter
me:: it wasn't THAT funny. How about ______? (mutual gay friend).
E:: that shade of lipstick is WAY too bright. It's like bubblegum pink. You need more neutral. How about _____? (studly, yet flirtatious mutual gay friend).
me:: Er, and then I look up from an intense conversation regarding the effectiveness of letter-writing campaigns, only to find his tongue in the ear of that hot Italian water bringing hors d'oeuvres. No.
E:: MUAHAHAHAHA. Looks like Spades hand it is.
me:: shyt.

See, this is what truly finding someone who is equally yoked is about - what dating really is about. When you visualize the life the way you live it now, and intend to live it later - who fits?

I really don't want eye-candy, or lipstick, to attend this function with me. I really want to be mutually interested in someone that fits, yanno? Comfortable enough in their own skin to hang with my crazy friends (c'mon, if you've been reading this for a while or know me at all, you know they're special), deal with my type A-ness, and then sophisticated enough to both play in the dirt with me, and also carry a conversation with my colleagues.

Yep. Spades hand it is. Let's hope the other "players" renege. ;)