November 2009 Archives

As promised & threatened - I'm back to tackle those trends I couldn't find ;)

So there have been a lot of hot trends this year (similar to previous years). One thing I've found particularly compelling this year is that these trends can be very flattering to us curvy chicks.

1940's pencil skirts, pegged suits and feminine dresses accentuate our curves, and can re-define (nee create) curves where curves may be ill-defined (or missing). Red is just a sexy color and gives you that boost of confidence that makes you channel fierceness. Jumpsuits are very on-trend, and given the right cut and fabrics, can grace curves. And Fur has been reinvented, in touches that says luxury without screaming bulky or expensive.

So, how do you find trendy clothes in your size? Well - we talked about some of the where, so here I'll show you some examples and talk about how I found them. Even if you don't necessarily want to channel Rita Hayworth or Audrey Hepburn circa 1942, hopefully the tips can help you update your look with trendy finds ;)

Jumpsuits: I literally fell in love with the Anthracite Lurex halter jumpsuit created by YSL for Fall '09 (the picture above). So much so, in fact - that I'm ordering the fabric myself, and I found a suitable pattern. Because I knew that I wouldn't find the exact jumpsuit in my size, I'm sucking this one up - and sewing it myself. Don't sew? Well, find a good seamstress (we all should have a good seamstress in our fashion network for alterations et. al.) and have her make it for you. If you buy the fabric and search for the patterns, you can reduce her legwork (and your costs) in the process.

But if that's totally aus, then here are a few good suggestions for you. The deep v-neck, long sleeve Charlie jumpsuit by Monif C. is sexy, and flattering. Lane Bryant has several to choose from, including some strapless and halter styles. I've also seen a few at some of the department store chains made by various RTW lines, but honestly: the fit of a jumpsuit is so crucial, that I'd leave this to the retailers who take pains to fit curvy folks, vs. RTW folks who are "sizing up", if you know what I mean ;)


1940's:: I think I found my new favorite dress. This Raquel dress from B & Lu is extremely fitted, extremely curvy, and is screaming 1940's to me. Add a fur stole, killer stillettos and some soft curly/wavy hair, and you've travelled back to another era. I really, and I mean REALLY like the embedded self belt waistline which will whittle your waist. It creates the figure 8, without some of the bulk that a jacket & skirt combination can sometimes creates. So, are you an Hourglass? Hour and 1/2 glass (like me)? This dress should work for anyone whose curves approach dangerous. I was searching for the jumpsuit above, and stumbled across this one in the process - yay me!

Not quite your cup of tea? Kiyonna.com has some lovely plus sized skirts, Igigi's Limited Collection includes the Michelle Suit (my fave), the Milano Suit and the Marcela suit which are all quite 40's & pretty fab. Also, check out Bloomie's, Nordie's & Macy's for separates to create that pencil skirt & pinched waist jacket silhouette. I found most of these by searching on these websites directly - and as I mentioned, I do love boutiques for trendy wear.

Red:: I originally considered red as purely a makeup trend - a rebellion after years of MAC Oh Baby & Beaux. But after I started seeing is used in fresh ways and new shades, combined with the resurgence of both the Vampire movies and 40's glamour - Red is now a statement color to bring the fire to an outfit.

And perfect for the holidays. Along with the Marilyn convertible dress from Monif C. (pictured at left, it's like 10 dresses in one) consider the following Red options: the Traditional Tunic from Gayla Bentley at Neiman Marcus (cute, with a pair of leggings ;), this double-breasted funnel neck coat from Style & Co at Macy's, the Tapestry Sweater Dress by Melissa Masse or this one-shoulder maxi dress from Lane Bryant.

Oh yes - and this little red suede fringe vest from Berek @ Neiman Marcus. Fierce, no?


Fur:: faux fur to be exact. The Faux Fur Gilet is very on-trend this year, and this one by Rachel by Rachel Roy for Macy's apparently sold out in about .00009 seconds. What's a fashionista to do? Well, I broke out my sewing machine (again) and found some fabu fur at I'm Stuffed Fur.com, so I could get my gilet just right ;)

More options?: how about the coffee-colored faux fur vest at Avenue, this fur-trimmed cardigan from Lane Bryant, or this Fox Faux Fur Vest from FabulousFurs.com? BTW, Fabulous Furs sells all kinds of faux fur in various sizes, from full coats to wraps & stoles, and they're wonderful because they're pelted - so they look real ;)

Aight, so we've got some on-trend options. Now I'm thinking - what about the other trends? Sequins? Leggings? Rocker looks? 1980's? All out there, with a little Googling and searching...lol. Oh, you might want to click those links for a peek ;)

Next up....Shopping for your body type, and finding clothes in your size. Stay tuned...

Speak life into existence.

So, I've found myself over the last few years, wondering why dating basically *sucks* so much, and why I've been noticing my growing dislike for it. I couldn't really come up with an answer that makes sense. Until I got back from Switzerland, and this guy who was interested in me asked me how my trip was...

a lil context: as you may well know, I've been a little frustrated with dating (er, ya think?). Most of what I've been doing the last few years consists of meet & greets, coffee dates, or low-brow haphanded attempts at my goodies, and me firing another candidate. very sterile, very guarded, very safe. fun, wow.

Well, we were discussing whether "vanilla" dates - meet & greets, coffee dates, etc had value. I know they have their place, but for me - they're a turn off. And then I recounted for him a particular part of my trip to illustrate.

the following is my portion of the conversation...

me: A___ & Tasha....we're friends, yanno? and when I'm with them, I feel good
me: REALLY good

me: I haven't felt like that...that same feeling, with or about a man...in years
me: LOL
me: when I'm with them, I can securely be myself, talk about whatever and feel great
me: light hearted
me: smart
me: free spirited
me: adventurous
me: what I'm saying is....that I want to be able to feel that same way around a man
me: free-spirited
me: adventurous
me: light hearted
me: happy
intelligent
sexy
me: without feeling fearful...or guarded...or having to dumb down for him, yanno?
me: we sat at the Rheinefall, under candlelight...and drank proseco and ate schnitzel or some other swiss meal....and talked about family, and community, and activism...and work....and traveling....and how we can put our families back together
me: and men...and how much we love black men, and how it hurts sometimes that they're not loving us back the way we deserve
me: I want the man...wherever he may be.....in GA, or NY...or hell...London...that is motivated to not let challenges become major obstacles....that will figure out a way to overcome then, yanno?

I keep thinking this isn't a lot to ask for. A date with a man who actually admires, adores, is interested in, respects, and/or wants to get to know, me. Not just poke me on the shoulder and ask for punani. Interested. In me.

...Am I asking too much?

Do you ♥ stillettos like I do? But stillettos don't ♥ you in return? You're not the only one!

I've been wearing heels literally since I was about 13 (do NOT judge me, there's a very good reason) and stillettos since I was about 15/16. But 20+ years (again, no judgement! :-P) and after taking a break from them, I needed a refresher.

I came across this great video clip from Modelinia - it's pretty helpful. Enjoy!

See more videos on modelinia.com

Sometimes it pays to not be "average".

...'cause God knows my heart, and if I was average (read: skinny) chick - I'd be the most fashionably dressed, homeless chick on earth. When I get obsessed - truly obsessed - nothing (not even blogging) will stop me from hunting and capturing my fashion prey.

Yes, it's that serious.

My latest? (Click the pics to view larger/detailed)



But more specifically:

It's the Skyline Print Long Dress that Alexander Wang designed for Fashion Night Out 2009 (@FNO09) recently. Find more about Fashion Night Out by clicking here.

I have boots that are perfect, and I can make myself a leather Obi Sash (or some other urban dominatrix appropriate waist cincage). But that dress... *sighs* was limitedly available at Bergdorf Goodman's in NYC, and the sizing wasn't for me :-(

...don't underestimate the power of a true fashionista. Me, American Apparel and my favorite screenprinter are going to have a pow-wow, real talk. That dress will be mine...

p.s. if you know where I can find a white, long, and (preferably) fine-grade t-shirt dress, holla at ya girl ;)

So, my good friend Miss Princess Dominique asked me to write an article for her blog, Princess Dominique Dishes Fashion . Of course, I opted to write about fashion (our shared obsession). And I chose to write an article about plus sized styling, because frankly - my friends say I dress like I'm the business. And because I'm sick of seeing plus sized women as poster children for you know you dead a$$ wrong, looking like their halloween costume is a linebacker for Team Glowstick, or they're doing an impression of a funnel.

I had the perfect ideas in mind - I wanted to touch on my favorite trends for Fall 2009, and link women to their plus-sized alternatives. With that in mind, I was thinking: 1940's, Red, Fur, Shoes, Jumpsuits, etc. Like so....

Except - yanno what? I couldn't find the clothes in plus sizes....lol.

And there's the rub. Even the most fashionable of us, that know where to find stylish clothes, at great prices...run into problems with plus size styling/fitting and actually FINDING the clothes.

So, with that...I still will post my best finds for Fall 2009. Here's the plan:

Part 1: the best places to find plus size fashion, in my not-so-humble opinion
Part 2: finding trendy clothes in your size (yes, I will find those trends above in plus sizes!)
Part 3: how to shop for your body type (and buy clothes in your size)
Part 4: Shoes!

So, before we get into my favorite shopping destinations, some things I try to avoid:

• I'm not particularly loyal to any store/brand/label/destination. I shop where I find things that suit me well, or move me...or call me (y'all know I get obsessed, right?).


• I do avoid clothes that look like I could be a member of the church mother board/usher board like the plague.


• As well as clothes that literally look as if they s-t-r-e-t-c-h-e-d the largest Misses size to make it plus.


• Also, cheap fabrics or manufacturing. Typically, in plus size, these slight anomalies or faults tend to be much easier to spot and note.

Other than that...I do try to break every fashion rule ever made, because that (IMHO) is what fashionistas do. Break the rules, and wear what looks good on you, despite playing the numbers game (see part 3 for more on those numbers).

With that, my fave destinations (in no particular order):

Department Stores:: Macy's, Nordstrom, Neimans, Saks et. al. Click those links to head straight to the plus size online shops. Now I know what you're about to say: "they're pricey!" Yes, I know, but quality shows, and they all run sales regularly. If you're a valued customer (read: credit card holder) you also get additional discounts. And they designers, incl. couture designers, finally woke up and smelled the $: the average woman is a size 14. They know there's a lot of money in this niche, and Ralph Lauren, Adrienne Vittadini, Jones New York, Tahari, Tadashi, Melissa Mase, Calvin Klein, Kenneth Cole, Michael Kors, Rachel Pally, and Suzie Chin (amongst others) are designing accordingly.


Plus Sized RTW chain retailers:: I have a love-hate relationship with Lane Bryant, Avenue and Ashley Stewart. Why? Because they're all great on occasion, and in very small doses. LB does well with career wear and occasionally in the trendy space, but after 2-3 seasonal hits, they come back with some left fieldness. But right now I ♥ Lane Bryant's Icon Collection. For both Avenue and Ashley Stuart, they suffer from costing/trendiness issues: cheap manufacturing + trendy clothing = consistent fashion don'ts. Although I've found the occasional piece or two here, just be wary of the quality. Oh, and Torrid? Only for incredibly short-lived trendy pieces, and not entire outfits. Just my humble opinion...


Discount retailers:: I ♥ Target and Walmart! Ok, before you go there...I truly respect designers who do lower ends lines for the fashionable on a budget. Isaac Mizrahi, Mossimo and Norma Kamali have been putting some very workable pieces in Target and Walmart. And before you complain about the sizing, each has gone up to a size 20 (XXL or 18//20) which can be generous depending on your height/body type. I'm a big, juicy pear and I have quite a few Mossimo and Kamali pieces (Isaac's not as forgiving :-( ) Don't just peruse the plus size area though, shop the Juniors and Women's sizes, and look for lines that extend through XXL or size 20). Oh, and don't forget Ross, and T.J. Maxx, as they buy consistently from all the other retailers I've mentioned.


Lastly, the plus size online-only designers:: I've checked out Igigi.com, Kiyonna.com, Monif C. , B &Lu, and others. And while I ♥ some a LOT (and ♥ some less) - they're pricey without the semi-annual sales, without the quality (in some cases) and without consistency. So, I check them out and find stand out pieces (again!), but are generally wary about price and quality.


So, lot's of resources, yes? If there's a lesson here, it's definitely that we do have a lot to choose from, and this niche is growing, which is nice for us p.h.a.t., plus size, bbw "fluffy", plush women. But with that, it is work - the same as it is for "junior" or "women's" sizes. But if you're a shopper like me - I like!

There ya go! Hope that helps, but if you have other destinations - please share! Happy Hunting! (and save some bargains for me!)

(yeah, I know they don't speak Spanish. Pero, voy mundial! )

I climbed a mountain, y'all!

I climbed a mountain, took a horsedrawn carriage up to a castle, danced on a table top with a rather femme Hulk Hogan look-alike, watched paragliders sail over mountains, drank Proseco at the base of a waterfall, ate curry-wurst in the town square, viewed some of the most beautiful stained glass in the world, and ate sushi. (I hate seafood, so my friends know that last part is truly amazing.)

And all of the above (and more) answers the question that you haven't asked (but want to) - Why Switzerland?

Well, there is this... (refresh to change the pics below - they change randomly with page refreshes)

The main reason, however, is because my friend A___ is an expat. She's been living in Switzerland for about 18 months, and invited Tash and I to come visit. This is our second major trip abroad together, having done a tour of Buenos Aires & Rio for the Study Abroad program where we met. And where the term "Vamos a Chile" was born. We will Vamos a Thailand sometime in 2010.

But for now - Switzerland.

Or more specifically, Schaffhausen, Zurich, Glarus, Klöntal, and Schwammhöhe (I could not make up that name if I wanted to). As well as Füssen, Germany, and many points in between. Schaffhausen, where we stayed, is both a quaint little Swiss town 32 miles from Zurich, and a balls-out (literally - the mascot is a ram with golden balls) canton, boasting a beautiful waterfall (the Rheinfall) an old canton fortress about 300 steps from the street (the Munot - I counted these as we climbed them...lol) and a historic town square. We ate great cheese (or course), yogurt (Bio yogurt is amazing!), ice cream and of course - chocolate! We also indulged in the shopping (I love European shoe stores) and eateries, including tasty pastries, nut tortes and good dairy. Oh, and the ever-present jamon y queso (schinken und käse). Who knew ham & cheese sandwiches were a universal food?

A____ also indulged us by giving us tours of nearby attractions. We climbed a mountain (well, via car, but still) through Glarus, Klöntal, and Schwammhöhe, to see one of the most amazing mountain views I think I've ever seen in my life. Along with the countryside, and valleys, the sun breaking through the clouds was (corny as it sounds) breathtaking. And the oxen, cows, and horses we passed along the way, as well as driving through a "no-bombing" zone, on a 2-way mountain road barely 8 feet wide wasn't too bad either!

I bought a banging pair of grey over-the-knee boots for a steal in Zurich, and ate great roasted poulet aux champignons (chicken with mushrooms) at the Brasserie Lipp. We even shook our groove thangs at Kaufleuten Lounge, with the Hulk Hogan look-alike, and a bunch of very flirty European, house, reggae and all things musically funky-loving men. Slight aside: they (apparently) either LOVE black women, or think American women make quite a flirty target. The attention we got was divine AND a lil weird (who licks a stranger's face?...lol).


thing is...it's about experiences:: because at the end of the day, life is short, so we should all play hard. And despite my friends assuring me that cruises, and the caribbean are amazing (I don't disagree) - I want to see the entire world. And even though I used to think travel was expensive, anything worth having is worth planning & saving for. With a little planning & savings, other destinations are definitely within reach. From Cozumel to Costa Rica, from Antartica to Asia. Every time I step completely out of my comfort zone, I have the most amazing, memorable experiences - that I truly can never recreate. I'm thankful that I realized this at a relatively young age ;) , so I can keep adding stamps to my passport.

So, yes - Switzerland. And Rio. And Buenos Aires. And Thailand. And London. And Paris. And Johannesberg. And Morocco. And Lima....

Are you still sitting there? Get your passport up. Seriously.

author's note: this started as a tweet, but warrants more than 140 chars.

So, I met a guy. An attractive, employed, reasonably sane guy who seemed keenly interested. Interested enough, in fact, to spend 5+ minutes convincing me that I should take his number, despite the fact that I told him I'm not dating (more on that later).

We chatted on occasion, both before and after my trip to Switzerland. General stuff, work, marital status, kids, etc. Nothing heavy, but with my trip and subsequent illness, we never got past small pleasantries. But I was still curious. I called him this weekend to let him know I'd finally recovered enough to actually go on the date he'd talked me into.

Why did this guy ask me: "can we kick it at the place where we met?"

The place in question?

View Larger Map

I can't with this dude.

What the f*ck would we do? Would he buy me a 20 oz soda and a Slim Jim? Would we share casual repartee while splitting a bag of Fritos? Would he then buy me a coupla gallons of gas, and send me on my way? Da hell?

Okay, let me be really honest. I'm honestly feeling like I can't with ANY dude. The level of bullshyt has gotten too high. From the dudes asking me to split a $20 tab (that I felt some kind of way about and posted accordingly), to the guys that don't even make it to this page, being so completely full of shyt that I deem un-blog-worthy, or too crazily out there that you won't believe they really happened. Like the guy that asked me to prove that I liked him by giving him head on the first date. OR the guy who after a 45 minute interview where he bombarded me with questions (literally a barrage of question after question without allowing me to interject: What are my politics? religion? educational background? career aspirations? last sexual partners?) declared that I'm worthy of another date. Or the 50-11 guys who ask me out on meet & greets.

Does any of that seem like fun? And, without giving details on their appearance or resume, does that seem remotely appealling?

I'm a healthy, red-bloody, 99% heterosexual (there was that one awesome unrequited girl crush in college...), african-american woman, reasonably intelligent, moderately cultured, relatively open-minded. And I've gotta say...

I keep telling myself this is the last straw, and I'm out. And someone convinces me NOT to throw in the towel. So, I give another guy a shot, and he f*cks up more than the last guy did.

I mean, it's a slippery, downhill slope. After that last bit - I'm scared to meet the next bad date.

So, this is it, hm? Really? This is what dating in our community consists of? Someone please, tell me this is rock bottom, cause I don't want to know what's next.

I'm SO done.