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Preface: this is probably the main reason why I got my "voice" back. This idea isn't solely a case of perception; the glass being half empty or half full is semantics at the moment. More relevant is what's in the glass, and whether I want to drink what's in it.
Yes, I'm considering throwing in the towel on dating, relationships, marriage, partnership and happily-ever-after, completely. I've been considering it for quite a while, actually.
What the heck does all that have to do with dating, exactly?: I have that exact same feeling again. The mourning feeling. The odds not being stacked in my favor feeling. Compounded with the feeling that I haven't enjoyed "dating" in this century. The funeral hymn is playing in the background, but wait I'm jumping ahead...
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A few recent cases in point:
- The brother who refuses to "date" because he "doesn't want to waste money getting to know me". He'd rather get to know me by putting his proverbial feet on my proverbial couch (double entendre intended).
- The brothas completely lacking creativity, inspiration or even thought in their approach. Typically, the approach is: "Hey, I'm not busy so if you're not busy, maybe you can come up with something for us to do? Just watch the budget"
The brothas looking for instant-
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The brothas looking for someone to upgrade them: 'nuff said
The brothas looking to upgrade themselves: you're a solid 5 on a scale of 1-10. but as a single, black man of a certain age, with a job, all your teeth and a health plan, you're looking to date outside your weight class. I get that. But that does not get you a dime, unless you're willing to pay for it. And that doesn't ensure that I'm going to date a 2, because the odds are against me. I don't care how many 2s try this logic.
The brothas lacking in social graces, the brothas lacking in manners/etiquette, the brothas, the brothas, the brothas...
Don't get it twisted: I love black men, still. But I am losing the desire to date one, in any way, shape or form.
And on relationships: I haven't had one in over 14 years. Next topic...
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I'm attending a webinar with a clinical psychologist about dating black men later this week, and hope to pose this as a question.
But seriously, and this question isn't rhetorical - what do you do when you're ready to give up? When the funeral hymn is playing in the background, and the idea (body) is laid out on the casket, ready for viewing? Is it at this point you call a doctor for a cure?