April 09, 2008

random weirdness

So, has the cost of fuel prices driven this person mad, or is it the microwave frequencies coming from your cellphone?:

IMAG0032.jpg
Click on the pic above to see the full size picture.

Ok, yes - cellphones while driving annoy me as well. But there's no way I'd buy a black minivan and cover it completely with the neon-scribbled ramblings of my outraged mind. The movie "23" definitely comes to mind...

If you can't see the words: it's the Torture Games of their Cell Phones and Navigation Systems that are killing Our Children 24/7. They're also torturing our kids with cyberdildonics and cybersex.

I don't know about you, but I'm about to get me some-o-dem cyberdildonic thingies. Sounds intriguing.

Posted by saga_30311 at 09:24 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

February 26, 2008

a gift, from me to you

Note: this is NSFW

Reh Dogg - "True Love Never Dies"


...you can thank me later.

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January 04, 2007

daily chuckle

daily_chuckle1.jpg


What better use for an Amazon review than to provide a PMS'ing woman like myself with a chuckle? And to Livewire, the Canadian Information Minister, thanks for the yucks ;-)

Posted by saga_30311 at 08:24 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Reh Dogg - Why Must I Cry

Alls I gots to say is - I have a future in the music biz.

For those of you who haven't seen this on YouTube - introducing Reh Dogg.

Don't judge him man - he's got stories he's trying to tell - don't get distracted by his (lack of) singing ability.

Ok, for real though - if this dude can (and has) get his songs on iTunes, and they're (allegedly) selling - I have a future as the Arch Duchess of Hip-Hop/R & B. Mary, do not side-eye me!

Okokokok - since I tortured y'all with this - I'll post my real playlist before Friday, I promise ;-)

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September 20, 2006

the Accidental Lockout

I can't say much about my actual accident more than I've already said - no injuries (well my neck and back hurt, and my knees are begging for relief), and my truck is jacked up (and so are my knees from the Nissan Sentra the insurance actually covered. I need a tall girl rider on my policy).

What I can discuss is the lunacy below:
DSC00003.JPG

That pic would be off the tow truck driver, rescuing his damn self. See, after the accident occurred, drivers information exchanged, police were called, insurance companies notified, and road blocked for about 35 min, this guy finally shows up. Friendly type, he jumps out of his truck to survey the damage to ensure that he could tow the truck, and....

proceeds to lock himself out of his tow truck.

DSC00003.JPG

yes, that would be Mr. Man, attempting to break into his tow truck (having locked both the extra key, and Slim Jim in the truck). Another 30 minutes of waiting for another tow truck to break into his to truck, and he managed to pop the lock himself with a coat hanger and a screwdriver. Lawd, please help the babies....

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August 22, 2006

random un-PC thoughts

the pixie on my shoulder made me do it....

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August 08, 2006

Paranoia (how to not get got)

* in best Puffy impression* This is the re-post...I thought I told you that we won't stop....ok, yeah, corny, but this is closely related to being a hustla. You may want to revisit those posts.

Aight, so I inadvertently vamped again. Some combo of work, school ending, mentoring, daily grind, etc. Well, honestly, for the most part it's been work, and I'll elaborate.

paranoia3.jpgA Brief History of Paranoia:: I'm a Yankee at heart. Not a Big Apple Yankee, but a New York Yankee nevertheless. And I will admit: I am more than a little paranoid. Let me 'splain: I don't always look over my shoulder, because I don't have to. I already know what's there.

When you grow up, peeping out the situation, having to slide through, watchin your back, your front, and your sides too, you tend to note what's there. So yeah, duplicated footsteps too close to me, will cause me to stop and fake a shoe tie, to let that person pass. Someone brushing past me inherently causes me to adjust my purse, and make sure it's still zipped, wallet inside. I may not remember what a Louie's Hot Dog tastes like, but I do know how to avoid being an easy target. Some things you never forget.

the paranoid routine::Being a semi-reformed Yankee has served me well, living in a city that I'm unfamiliar with, or even while traveling, on many occasions. I'll give you an example: Several women close to me have gotten "got". Mugged, robbed, car-jacked, chain's snatched, etc. Friends, coworkers, colleagues, etc. Now, I don't want to increase my statistical probability by speaking on this, but it seems there are a few simple things you can do to avoid making yourself an easy target:


paranoia1.jpgWork-Paranoia:: I work in a Corporate environment. Uber-Corporate. Old School, Bricks-n-Mortar corporate. Think: on-the-Fortune-500-pre-Internet Corporate. So, given my environment, paranoia is probably the rule, not the exception. Hyper-competitive to get in, hyper-competitive to stay in, hyper-competitive to get ahead. Folks get their MBA's just to give them an edge to get here, m'kay?

Now, I know I have complained about work, some complaints warranted, some...well....like my colleagues say, it's typical corporate BullShyt. Yes, employees here are subject to joining the corporate Witness Protection Program (they get missing fast, and the spiel is they were seeking "better opportunities" but we know they didn't ALL quit. Not even our COO was immune to this.) I know where I work, the environment in which I operate, and I also know that a healthy dose of paranoia is a good thing. Key words: healthy dose. Good Thing.

ear_to_wall.jpgHow do these basic principles relate? An example: a colleague and I work on the same team, same type of project, started around the same time frame. So, she was expressing her concerns (complaining) about one of our projects, and the lack of support from our leads and Project Manager. So, I tried to instill a healthy dose of paranoia:

back to the elaboration:: I've been swamped, working my plan, not letting the BullShyt work me. Yes, I'm paranoid. But I'm also not blind to the machinations of the Corporate Culture that I fight from within. They may be trying to indoctrinate me into the Cult of the Corporate Whore, and I may know it, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna make the shyt easy. So yeah, I'm sitting at Starbuck's, cellphone, laptop, Flash drive, wallet, car keys out in plain view, easily reachable, and for the hungry thief , easily grab-able. And I've got on 4 1/2 inch stillettos. But I doubt anyone would try me. Straight hair, or not - I'm still saga, Sagacious Lee.

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August 02, 2006

random fashion thoughts

ok real quick - and then I gotta go to bed...

leggings are back?:: WHOSE BRIGHT F*CKING IDEA IS THIS?! Lessee, pants that make skinny chicks look anorexic, and fat chicks look lumpy. Yeah, that's the "next idea" in fashion. GTFOH.

if I were to design a ready-to-wear(R2W) collection:: today, I'd make the signature color Navy Blue, because frankly, I'm friggin sick of charcoal, black and chocolate brown suits. I'm jes saying. Navy should be the new black, and everyone should just get over gray, m'kay? Thanks!

and you're clashing, because?:: I'm not matchy-matchy by any means. Please, if you can pull it off, wear plaids and paisleys together. However, just because you friggin love your Louis Vuiton bag, and LV chose brown and tan as his signature colors, doesn't mean you get to carry that bag when you're wearing gray and black. Buy a f*cking Fendi or something, dayum.

clothes for everybody:: I'm still addicted to House of Boateng (update tomorry) and Project Runway, and I wish Vince and Bradley would just vamoose already. Even with the cheating, I'd trade both of them just to get Keith back. But even with all that, a real challenge IMHO would be to design real clothes for real bodies. How's about you design skinny jeans that flatter my gargantuan a$$. That, my friends, is a challenge!

disclaimer:: the author is not suggesting fat girls should actually wear skinny jeans. In fact, she'd warn against this, considering the impact that the friction this would cause, along with causing a rupture in the fashion-sense-aesthetic continuum. Please, dress accordingly.

...oh, the other reason behind the 'clothes for everybody' challenge, is that my hairstylist whined to me that she was afraid to get a pair of hot pants, because she has a "black girl booty" and doesn't want to look like a stank. With her size 6 a$$, and Tina legs. I'd almost hate her for being a scaredy cat, but she works with women all day, so I know of which her concerns are birthed. We can be a hateful bunch. So, I'd want to design her the perfect pair of booty enhancing, stank minimalizing, appropriate for working in a hair salon hot pants, to shut them other bytches up. 'Cept I hung up my pincushion eons ago.

wish-list:: for right now, one of my fave back-in-the-day R2W designers is hot again: Norma Kamali (don't call it a comeback - i had faith in you girl!). So, I'd want a convertible shirt/dress/skirt from Norma. A Michael Kors satchel. These Kenneth Cole pumps. And clothes of my own design (navy suit, military-inspired pieces, and work-worthy dresses/skirts), because the fall R2W previews I'm seeing, suck rocks. Who wears leggings to work, anyway??!!!

men, an fyi:: before anyone falls into the Gap, slim fit does not mean tight. It means, closer fitting than the falling-off-your-a$$-hanging-around-your-knees fit than you're probably used to. Tight is bad. VERY BAD. Just, no. Please. No.

Ok, I just saw that damn Gap jeans commercial again (Skinny, slim, str8 - I walk the line). Time to go gouge my eyes out.

Posted by saga_30311 at 11:41 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 20, 2006

spam alert

and now a brief pause for a chuckle....

I got this IM on Yahoo just now:

I_M_dumb_a$$: DEAR GOD:

I want to thank You for what you have already done. I am not going to wait until I see results or receive rewards; I am thanking you right now. I am not going to wait until I feel better or things look better; I am thanking you right now. I am not going to wait until people say they are sorry or until they stop talking about me; I am thanking you right now. I am not going to wait until the pain in my body disappears ; I am thanking you right now. I am not going to wait until my financial situation improves; I am going to thank you right now. I am not going to wait until the children are asleep and the house is quiet; I am going to thank you right now. I am not going to wait until I get promoted at work or until I get the job; I am going to thank you right now. I am not going...

my response: um, I'm pretty sure that you sent this message/prayer to the wrong person. I am NOT GOD, and I'm also pretty sure he doesn't use Yahoo messenger.

Posted by saga_30311 at 10:15 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

June 10, 2006

funktacular outlook

Maybe it's just that I'd been ignoring him for a sec, or it could've been the alert was extra loud this AM, but why is my Outlook getting all attitudinal on me?

funky_wit_me.jpg

Ok, dayum.....I'm reminded. You don't have to be all funky about it...sheesh.

Posted by saga_30311 at 08:34 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

November 11, 2005

Mackerelly y'all!

A coworker of mine (and very good friend) has managed to snatch me from the depths of my depression with:

1974 WW Recipe Cards

Fluffy Mackerel Pudding.  Yes, I said mackerel pudding.  The fluff is the thing.

please don't make me 'splain. I couldn't possible even try. Just go here, and see for yourself.

I promise you'll be in tears after you do.

Mackerelly, y'all!

Posted by saga_30311 at 01:44 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 23, 2005

...find me in da club...

Another tentative date, another incident of being stood up. And, may I add - I looked way too cute to sit home. Instead of moping, I decide to go to the club, and headed to a local "Ole Skool" watering whole, to avoid hanging out with theChaos' co-horts (gen Z'ers? dang, do they even have a classification yet?). Either way, I ain't NEVA partying with my daughter, ok? Meanwhile, I head to the club solo. Clubs are an endess source of amusement for me, because of the characters:

the club "pimp"
club-pimp.jpg I'm sitting at my bar, and over saunters "Larry". And yes, He's a Cancer. And yes, his lines are that tired. However, he was 6'4", decently dressed, and over 30...so I was willing to entertain the tired lines. Well, at least until another woman dressed in head-to-toe camouflage came and sat next to Larry on his other side...

Larry: You're so young...I shouldn't even be talking to you.
me: Why is that?
Larry: Shoot girl, I'm about to get my AARP card.
me: laughs...

....not even 3 minutes later, I hear
Larry: You're probably way too young for me...
Camouflage Girl: Oh really? How old are you?
Larry: Shoot girl, I'm about to get my AARP card.
me(thinking): da hell? did he just recycle his game while I'm still in earshot?

Aside: the bartender was listening, and busted out laughing when I gave Larry the Scooby-Doo-"ruh-roh"-face. She told me later that all his lines are standard, and she quoted several, including: "I've traveled the world, because I used to play pro-ball, and I'm also former military", "I know the owner, we used to be business partners in _____ venture together" and "It usually takes me about 2 drinks to oil the knees up properly to dance - basketball injuries. So far I've had 3, so I think I'm good...".

Another aside: yes, I was offended that he was spitting that same tired game at a girl dressed completely in camouflage. I mean dayum, the outfit was very 1997, and it wouldn't have been all that cute back then, ok?

the nasty man
Am I the only one that gets all these old dudes with fetishes? This guy asks me to dance, and then starts telling me how surprised he is that I'm here alone. "Are you single" - yes. "Do you have a man" - no. "That is so surprising because you seem like a good woman" - yea, right. I've heard these lines so many times, that it sounds like that Charlie Brown's teacher mess: wa wa-wa wa-wa...wa, wa, wa wah. But then..

nastyman: You are a whole lotta woman. I love the way you look...I could really do some things with you.
me(feigning naivéte, because I think I know where he's headed): what do you mean?
nastyman: you have some really thick hair.
me: thanks
nastyman: are you hairy like that all over? I mean, I don't see any hair on your arms and legs...but I would like to find out for myself.
me: da hell? oh see - you need to go on somewhere with that....

Ok, c'mon now...a fetish for pubes? If that isn't the friggin' nastiest...that's worse than feet...ugh!

the "one-move" man
I am so mean for this one, but y'all know what I'm talking about. Dude with that one dance move, and he's working out all-night-long, to whichever song comes on. Classic R& B = one move. Uptempo R& B = same move. House song = same move. Reggae song = same move. Hip hop song = same move. Slow song = same move. Line Dance song (electric slide, cha-cha slide, etc) = same move. If they played an arena rock song, I believe dude would have used the same move.

Now, if the move was the two-step, it wouldn't be so noticeable. I mean, everyone kind of expects older heads to two-step, yanno? But the move was so extraordinary. It was a cross between the "Carlton dance" from the Fresh Prince of Bel Air, and the "Jerk" from the Steve Martin movie of the same name. The fact that this kid did it for about 4 hours straight was pretty amazing, considering how painful it was to watch. My neck still hurts from watching him.

the hoodrat drop
hoodrat_drop.jpgI don't know which of my elitist guy friends said this one, but here's the direct quote: "here's how you can tell a real hoodrat/ghetto girl - if they hear a song with that "drop" in it...yanno that Kilo Ali 'Nasty Dancer' drop? and no matter where they are, they start popping that thang? yeah - she's a hoodrat". Now, granted - we are in a club, so popping that thang is kinda expected. What I don't expect, is for them to do that a) while wearing a dress, b) while they are pregnant, c) with one hand on a building joist (sweetie, that is not a stripper pole, ok) or d) if they are over 30, 35, 40...aw hell, I ain't raising that age limit no dayum more! and let's not even talk about e) all of the above...

aside:: that line above is a QUOTE. I did not say that...I'm just co-signing it. Direct your hate mail elsewhere...lol.

the meeting in the ladies room
wild_boyz.jpgThis one is a public service to the brothas. If you ever want to know the level of women that you're really dealing with in da club, peek into the ladies room. Seriously. I've been in too many clubs to name, but I can tell you - the ladies room is the nastiest place on earth, bar none. And, in some of the well-known popular clubs that are known to pack in some of the finest women in Atlanta? Chile - them chicks will take a dump in the sink, ok? At the end of the night, the ladies bathroom will end up looking like the Wild Boyz did a tampon commmercial. And to think...you probably took one of them drunk, nasty-a$$ hooches home afterward...lol.

aside: ladies, if you gave the ladies room attendant a $20 for a slice of gum - you didn't pay her enough, ok? Ain't no way I could do what she does with the skanches she does it for. And them skanches don't tip. dayum.

Last one...

the club husband
You know this one fa sho. He bought you a drink, and you're tied for life - or at least the rest of the night. This kid follows you everywhere - bathroom, dance floor, outside, back inside...all in the hopes that you will take him home. I guess. Frankly, after I get the drink, I will ask for his digits and tell him I'll talk to him soon. If he isn't out of the area soon, I will confirm to him that I will lose his number if I don't get some air. This particular night, he beat it, but then ran out after me as I was getting in my car. And then couldn't get back in the club (no Ins and Outs). Poor thing...

Posted by saga_30311 at 06:30 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

October 13, 2005

Footnote

swb296_fi.jpeg
Antonio Melani's Simone Suede Boots

Ok, I can't even explain this except to those folks that share my shoe/boot fetish. I just want these. There is no other explanation for it.

Posted by saga_30311 at 10:57 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

September 29, 2005

Which Type of Killer?

I've seen this on MNM's page, as well as Tiki's page:

Samurai
You are a Samurai.
You are full of honour and value respect. You
are not really the stereotypical hero, but you
do fight for good. Just in your own way. For
you, it is most certainly okay to kill an evil
person, if it is for justice and peace. You
also don't belive in mourning all the time and
think that once you've hit a bad stage in life
you just have to get up again. It's pointless
to concentrate on emotional pain and better to
just get on with everything. You also are a
down to earth type of person and think before
you act. Impulsive people may annoy you
somewhat.

Main weapon: Sword
Quote: "Always do the right thing.
This will gratify some people and astonish the
rest" -Mark Twain
Facial expression: Small smile


What Type of Killer Are You? [cool pictures]
brought to you by Quizilla

Yeah...that's pretty accurate.

Posted by saga_30311 at 11:03 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

August 13, 2005

I'm a hustla baby...

and now we interrupt this message with an important word from our sponsors...

Ok, so the mini (and I do mean ultra-mini) sideline things have been paying off. Not enough to put a dent on theSlab's downpayment, but enough to keep Bessie on the road with these rising gas prices ($2.55/gallon? is there cocaine in that gas pump? diamonds? shyt!)

The hustles:
Mystery Shopping
The link-hustle ads: See Craig's List if you wanna get put on to post this kind of thing:
Lactose Intolerance
Greg Duncan
unsecured credit cards

And yes (warning: shameless donation request to follow), you can always check that right hand sidebar, to donate directly via Paypal, or click the Google ads to send me a few pennies...I appreciate 'ya!

and now we return you to our regularly scheduled post...


Posted by saga_30311 at 11:58 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 04, 2005

Explanation of the Social Experiment



Looks like saga has some 'splainin to do.

Ok, so if you're familiar with my 101, then you've seen me say that I wanted to register this domain? Well the unstated portion of that task was to make the site self-sufficient. I wanted this site to pay for itself. Oh, and yeah - with my buying theSlab, I also could use a lil extra $$$.

SO, I was looking for a part-time writing gig on Craig's List, and came across an ad looking for bloggers. Post about whatever, the topic itself doesn't matter, as long as you included some links that they send to you, for example:
Simmons Jannace
New York Office Space
car insurance
Bvlgari Diagono Lady's Gold Watch

Sounds benign enough, 'specially considering the amount of spam Trackbacks I've been getting lately (20/day? gaht dayum). If I'm gonna be pimped via spam, I might as well pimp myself.

Er, uh - no. See - I felt dirty when I wrote the first social experiment post, and even though this (sorta) explains what I did, I still feel a lil grimy for posting those links above. Even though it's easy cash, I felt like my writing is one of those few things I have that I have the complete freedom to be utterly genuine about, and I pimped my words out for some chump change.

Hm...how do I make this spot self-sufficient without being suspect. Paypal donations or Ads by Google, anyone?

Posted by saga_30311 at 09:37 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

July 27, 2005

temporary boredom reducer

I'm gonna post the drivers in traffic pics from ManNMotion's meme, as soon as my slow-a$$ camera gives up the goods (anyone know an easy way to get pics off your camera phone - holla at a playa, k?). And he's right - that one is a lot harder than I thought...

Meanwhile, want to find out what your birthday says about you? Click here: Birthday Calculator

I am 1,236,679,911 seconds old.

There are 297 days till my next birthday
on which my cake will have 40 candles on it.

My birth tree is

Chestnut Tree, the Honesty
Of unusual beauty, does not want to impress, well-developed sense of justice, vivacious, interested, a born diplomat, but irritable and sensitive in company, often due to a lack of self-confidence, acts sometimes superior, feels not understood, loves only once, has difficulties in finding a partner.

Whew - that's a lot of minutes. I guess I should be freaked out about my next birthday, but nah...looking forward to it. And as for my personality, is that too close to the truth, or a good guess? I certainly hope that the "loves only once" thing isn't true...

Posted by saga_30311 at 10:06 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

July 26, 2005

Social Experiment

I had a weird dream today.

I accepted a flower delivery that wasn't intended for me, from some guy named Michael. Apparently, he was trying to send flowers to his ex-girlfriend that had recently dumped him, and he was trying to make it up to her. She caught him cheating, while he was working at Kinkos, with a customer that was getting prices on postcard printing. The customer was supposed to have been working on drop mailings to distribute accutane information, but was really trying to get her groove on.

Ok, to be honest, that wasn't the dream. So, if you're scratching your head, thinking "what the heck is she blathering about", I haven't lost my whole mind. Well, at least no more of my mind than I had previously. But...I'll explain what this is about in a few days.

Posted by saga_30311 at 09:56 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

June 02, 2005

Random Seven

Posted by saga_30311 at 08:28 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

May 30, 2005

a "this shyt makes no sense" kind of moment...

Ok, there's no real good reason for this...so without further ado:

Jeff Green is a 32 year old american, in Arizona, whose wife passed. Due to the great pain he suffered due to her death, he did something totally out of character for a normal and sane person. He said, "I could no longer take the pain that my wife's death caused me and I brought her back home."

dead wife as coffee table
Yes, that is dude's dead wife in the table. For the rest of the story, click here.

Now that is some kind of memorial for Memorial Day, hm? Somewhere out there, a former soldier is probably gunning for my a$$ - I'm so wrong for this. Aight, I'm out...going to get me a rib!

Posted by saga_30311 at 01:36 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

April 20, 2005

internet dating after 35: oh see - you lost your whole mind

I'd attributed this foolishness previously to a full moon, but several moons have passed, and these fools are still tripping. So, now I'm guessing the biological clock has kicked in. Yeah, I know - and no, it ain't just women that are feeling it. Apparently, the brothers are feeling the need to plant seeds, so they're blowing me up with lunacy. Or they're just nucking futs. Either way, they need rules, and it's my civic duty to provide 'em.

Oh, I got more...I'm just sleepy as hell. Point is: just because my clock went off some years back doesn't mean the rules just went out the dayum window. I just want to date for FUN. At this rate, that celibacy task (see 101 list) is getting easier...and easier...and..

Posted by saga_30311 at 08:47 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

March 29, 2005

fixin your ex's commitment issues? the baconstraw convo

I gotta record this to process this, I don't know how to feel about this. yet.

sadat_x: yo, I need you to do me a favor
me: what's that?
sadat_x: I need you to hook me up with a booty call
me: GTFOH. HAHAHAHA - c'mon now - I ain't going there, again.
sadat_x: I'm serious. All jokes aside. And I think you should. Here's why...

ok, now before I enter tangent-land with sadat_x, y'all need some background info. sadat_x is the reason I moved to Atlanta. sadat_x is the very first brotha I can honestly say I really loved, who loved me equally in return. sadat_x and I broke up, brutally. sadat_x has had commitment issues ever since we broke up. And sadat_x & I started dating, when he was 16, and I was 22.

I SWEAR I didn't know that at the time. He told me he was 19, and what - it's not like you card folks when they try to get at you. Well, back then you didn't.

The backstory: sadat_x was the rebound guy from my first fiance. the fiance cheated, and sadat_x stepped in while I decided whether it was just temporarily or finally over with the fiance. And sadat_x got blessed with every special thing I learned from living with the fiance. sadat_x got: fragranced baths with rose petals & floating candles, hot meals waiting for him when he came over, every sexually deviate trick that my newly adult girlfriends & I could come up with to make our men stay put. And we had some next shyt, let me tell you...

But the fiance came clean, and vowed to get his act together. So sadat_x also got rudely kicked to the curb, outta the rose petal bathtub, into the cold street. A 19 yr old maybe coulda handled it. But sadat_x was not 19.

sadat_x: so I'm scarred for life. the rose petals, the specially made dinners - you spoiled the shyt outta me
me: and I'm supposed to hook you up with a booty call, because of that?
sadat_x: and the sex - man. you used to come home and rub your stuff in my face...
me: <laughing> and that was a bad thing?
sadat_x: I'm just saying...you were like janet jacme, and I didn't know how to handle it...

Several years later, I came to visit sadat_x in Atlanta, and I fell in love, again. sadat_x introduced me to his southern friends as his "girl", and I wanted to try again. So I moved, and we did, and it didn't work. That didn't stop us from being friends, and living together. We figured we could handle both.

We couldn't. The "friend" thing didn't stop us both from sneaking into each other's rooms at 3am, sneaking not just some darkened shower a$$, but the comfort of each other's arms. That didn't stop us from confiding in each other, and it didn't stop us from being brutally honest with each other. It didn't stop us from loving each other. Even if neither one of us was ready to commit. And our lack of commitment tore each other up. I'd cringe, and leave the house when he brought females home. He'd rant & rave to his friends when I disappeared for more then 12 hours, without knowing where I was.

sadat_x: and the thing with you & Trax...
me: oh man...
sadat_x: I could've gone to jail that night
me: sadat...
sadat_x: I had that thang on me that night...

It all went to shyt with Trax. Trax was a mutual friend. Trax was a homeboy. Trax, was...well...FINE. And I'd been pining for sadat_x for a coupla months, while he was out doing his thing. I SWEAR, Trax wasn't revenge, but worse - even though I knew that he & Trax were friends, I no longer gave a dayum. We never slept together, not in the biblical sense. But he spent one night in my room, with sadat_x not sleeping across the hall, and we talked. And there was some semi-nakedness. And what seemed (at the time) innocent & sweet (he talked about his girlfriend, and I whined about sadat_x) all came to a head when sadat_x broke into my room, and saw the semi-nakedness and lack of shame. That broke his heart, for the second time.

sadat_x: so, I know I have issues, and a lot of them have to do with the things we went thru
me: < me, laughing > ok, I'll grant you that. but I hardly see how a booty-call will help that shyt.
sadat_x: stop laughing, man - I'm being completely serious. I've been thinking about this a lot lately. baby-steps...
me: that's a step backward. I already hooked you up with one booty call...

my friend, fee-fee. She also has commitment issues, and when I introduced them, they were feeling each other. I figured, sadat_x & I were ancient history, and despite my attempt post-Trax to get at him, he wasn't having it. I'd burned 2 strikes, and wasn't getting a 3rd.

sadat_x: she doesn't count. I hit that too often - more than booty-call parameters define.

note: yes, there are booty call parameters. and yes, he said that.

sadat_x: so, are you gonna help me?
me: I gotta marinate on this. I want to, lawd knows you need it. But I hardly believe a booty-call will help.
sadat_x: you're my friend...
me: and you're dysfunctional as hell. Lemme sleep on it.

why am I even entertaining this? sadat_x and I are really good friends, and I know he's emotionally scarred, and I know I had a lot to do with it. What I don't know is what I can possbily do to fix that. It's been 11 years since the incident with Trax, and even though we have, er - diddled since then, it's been a good 6-7 years since even that. He's more than a good friend, he's like family. Like an ex-husband that I'm still really cool with. And although I do feel partly responsible - how in the world can I help him fix that?

Posted by saga_30311 at 10:26 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

March 13, 2005

the categories:: saga's got some 'splainin' to do...

yeah, there's a method to my madness. so to make the whole thing clear as fog:

A few more caveats - even though I'm a displaced Yankee, living in the hottness - Atlanta is all over this biyotch. I'm amazed sometimes how things go down, down hea - but that sentiment hits all categories, hence no one thang for Hotlanta. And yes, being African-American colors my perception of everything. So, all categories are painted in shades of blackness - some things more obviously than others.

Now that you've read the primer - go forth, and blogtiply. (Maybe I shoulda had a category for corn?)

Posted by saga_30311 at 10:23 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack