April 02, 2008

Walk for Autism

Click the pic for more details.
autism_walk.gif

I'd like to take a moment for altruism, and a (slightly selfish, yet) good cause. The 2008 Walk For Autism is coming up in less than two weeks, and I'm soliciting for donations, walkers and anyone/anything else that would like to help out:
Date:
Saturday, April 12, 2008

Location:
Atlantic Station
171 17th Street
Atlanta, GA 30363

Time:
Registration opens: 6:30 a.m
Resource Fair opens: 6:30 a.m
Opening Ceremonies: 7:30 a.m.
Walk kicks off: 8:00 a.m.
Resource Fair closes: 12:00 p.m.

To donate, or sign up as a walker, or team member --> go to the team page: Walk For Autism

Autism effects 1 in 150 children: Every 20 minutes, another family will hear those 4 words. Their lives will never be normal.

Farin's road has been long and challenging, and I'm forever grateful for the support that our family and our MARDS family has provided.

Please donate to this extremely worthy cause!

Posted by saga_30311 at 04:39 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

March 13, 2008

Bulls and bears: School promotes financial literacy

pd_kid_070403_sp.jpgI find creative ideas for accomplishing typical & atypical goals, pretty darn attractive.


Now, how attractive is this story from the Chicago Tribune, about giving 1st graders $20K to invest in the stock market?

The Ariel school is an experiment in financial literacy with real-life oomph: Each incoming first-grade class gets $20,000 that the children ultimately get to pick stocks for and manage. The goal is to add an I -- investing -- to the three R's, according John Rogers Jr., chairman and CEO of Ariel Capital Management, the Chicago-based money management firm that established the school in 1996.

At a time when pensions are being phased out and people must rely more on their own investment smarts, Rogers thinks saving and investment should be an integral part of the curriculum at schools across the country.

Experts say easy credit, aggressive marketing and the dizzying array of financial products and cashless spending options have led many American consumers astray, making it more essential than ever for kids to learn about money.

Iowa State University professor Tahira Hira, a member of the newly formed President's Advisory Council on Financial Literacy, is among those advocating that personal finance be required teaching at every elementary school.

Suddenly, HIlary's $5,000 baby bond is so much more attractive.....Give it to the kids (not the parents) and in 1st grade, let them learn how to manage it. Interesting....

Posted by saga_30311 at 12:31 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 06, 2006

any old excuse will do... (a babby-daddy rant)

I owe y'all posts, so I promise, part III (the finale) of love of my life is coming, along with the drug post and some others...meanwhile, a babby daddy rant.

I've been biting my tongue for the last month about this whole thing, trying to work out a civil disagreement, some sort of parental compromise. Despite the fact that I think my ex is a hemorrhoidal a$$hole (at times) who needs psychological help, I do understand two fundamental facts:

a) he's still my son's father, and I cannot replace him
b) I chose him to be the father (even if the pregnancy was unplanned)

So, it's my lot to deal with (some) of the consequences of those facts. No, we don't get along well. No, he's not a good father. But I try to work with him, through our arguments, our not seeing eye-to-eye, our fights about child support, etc.

But there's one thing that m*tha f*ckin' galls me: the opt-out option. See, that's the route of the irresponsible non-custodial parental unit....when the times get rough, the sorry opt the f*ck out.

While my son was sick repeatedly with pneumonia, to the tune of 6 different bouts and 3 hospital stays, he opted out. Days I spent at the hospital, he opted out. The day our son was diagnosed with developmental delays, he opted out. Nights on feeding tubes, and heart/lung monitors, he opted out. One incident where I spent 6 days in the hospital, unable to shower or change clothes, because our son was on IV fluids and kept pulling the IV out, he opted out. Hell, the night our son was born he opted out (left my hospital room, to sleep with another woman, in our bed). He opted out not just on our relationship, but also the idea of being a parent, pretty much from day 1. But I chalked all that up to his being a new parent, with his first child, and tried until I just couldn't try anymore, to make him be responsible. I finally left, when he started getting me into legal trouble.

My irresponsible non-custodial parental unit then opted out for 3 years. After a year without child support, rarely visiting, he made an irresponsible move on his part. My enraged response was to decide that if he couldn't be responsible, my son was better off. So yes, I opted out, for a while. He happily complied, not calling, not asking about us, not giving a dayum how we ate, lived, about school, about how I was working, nothing for three m*tha f*ckin' years. Finally, I swallowed my pride, and apologized to him, because I felt like it was more important for my son to have a father, than for me to prove my point about his irresponsibility, and it was only then that he opted back in. But even then, that didn't guarantee his responsibility.

Well gaht dayum if it didn't reinforce his thinking. His a$$ has exercised this option over and over and over again ever since. When I approached him with a visitation schedule, he opted out. The first time I got seriously involved with someone else, he opted out. When he got pissed off at me about the child support agreement, he opted out, in court. Unfortunately for me, the child support mediator didn't handle visitation issues. So, when he opts out, I'm the sole parent, and my recourse is limited. Yeah, I could hire a lawyer, fight it out, but this brotha is sorry, and didn't work for three years....he'd disappear, I already know this.

Jump to now. I'd love to pinpoint the root-cause of our current strife but there isn't just one. There are a few: his other baby-mama has a new boyfriend; he's having relationship problems; I moved into a new house; I borrowed money from him; she went back to school; she borrowed money from him; I bought a new truck, he lost his job; he broke down her door; he professed his undying love for me; I told him there's no chance we'd ever get back together. Ever.

Root cause or not, the bottom line is he still owes me $thousands$ of dollars in back child support, we still don't have a visitation agreement, and he still opts out whenever he friggin feels like it.

People (brothers and sisters alike), to get respect as a parent, you have to earn it, which is impossible to do when you're still engaging in the same behavior you did to lose it in the first f*cking place. That shyt should be common sense.

Yeah, I'm sick and m*tha f*ckin tired of the opt out option, but I refuse to take responsibility for making my ex be a responsible father. Like I told him, being irresponsible is easy, it's the sticking around trying to make broken things work that's the hard part, and has been the bulk of my parenting experience.

...you don't have to look hard for a reason to opt the f*ck out..any old excuse will do...to be a good parent, you have to find the reason to stay. And it should be somewhere in your child's eyes.

Posted by saga_30311 at 10:34 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

May 26, 2006

Hammy - the infamous I




Hammy - the infamous I


Originally uploaded by saga_30311.



He was on his way to graduation. Isn't he the cutest?


Oh, a coupla more pics here. ;-)

Posted by saga_30311 at 01:57 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

December 22, 2005

violence

As I type this, I'm somewhat at a loss for words. My daughter, theChaos, was recently a victim of a home invasion. I can't say much about it, except to say that she's ok, and that she knew her assailants. As do I.

So, instead - I'm writing this open letter to her assailant, and any other previous/potential assailants in the universe, considering engaging in the act. I invite them to first think...

violence

More outraged than surprised, I held her in my arms
too tightly
allowing her pepper-spray laced tears to sting
my eyes
watched the manhood in her man
swell proportionately
and tasting the copper-laced flavor
of vengeance
in my own mouth

I mentally checked where I last laid my arms, preparing to bear them again

but the sage in me knows

that fear doesn't inspire respect
that conflict doesn't resolve problems
that war is not the answer
that my pride in her ability to stand up
is tempered by my mama-worry that something will knock her down
that pride goeth before a fall
that being conscious is about understanding your own truths first
as much it is being aware of things around you
that you cannot put faith, fate or respect
in the hands of someone who has none and doesn't believe in any
that while some causes are worth dying for
an impedence is not worth a 20-year bid
that this hurts, so much worse
coming from "one of your own"
that while I'd cut off my right arm to save my baby
I'm not trying to bury anyone, or put money on anyone's books
that as I'm thinking this, someone out there will come to a decision
different than mine
and the outcome will be bloody

and that my daughter's life
is worth more
than satisfying the thirst for vengeance

so I mentally laid my arms down

© 2005, Sagacious Media

My most sincere, fervent, passionate wish for this Christmas, is that this conflict ends with no further violence.

Posted by saga_30311 at 01:46 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

April 22, 2005

MARDS, V103 & Hammy - and please donate..

I've talked previously about my son's condition. And I tend not to write about it much, because frankly - it's daunting. Overwhelming. The most difficult, rewarding and loving thing I've ever done or can ever do, and I worry overmuch if I'm getting it right...

But Wanda Smith from V103 (a very popular Atlanta radio station) adopted my son's childcare center, and has donated the station's efforts to raise money to keep the center from closing. MARDS - Metro Atlanta Respite and Development Services Center provides daycare, afterschool care and respite care for children with disabilities, as well as normal children. The center has struggled financially. They've needed to raise money for a while, and V103 helped them raise $202,000, which is HUGE. MAJOR. And I'm eternally grateful for that - Wanda Smith is a blessing for raising awareness, and bringing all these people and resources to MARDS.

I'm also thanful that the staff at MARDS: Lisa Conley, Mrs. Anne Philips, Joyce, Mrs. Betty and all the other staff members are so dedicated to providing these services for these children. And let me say this - I've listened to the stories of the other parents all week, and I know the kids there, like Hasani, and Michael. Watching them this week, seeing the reactions of the parents, the kids and the staff to this outpouring of support from the community - it's also overwhelming. Words can barely express it, truly...

I just wanted to shout them both out, and maybe put the seed in your mind. MARDS is still there, you can visit, donate in person or on their website, give them your time, your resources, your thoughts, your prayers. And thank Wanda, Frank and the V103 Morning Show for all their efforts. Even if I have Hammy handled (and you know for the most part, I do), I know Hasani needs MARDS, and so does Michael, and Tesha, and Brittney...

Posted by saga_30311 at 10:47 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

my son

This is from the archives - from the old blog. But it's related to the fundraiser I'm about to post about, and so you'll understand his condition, and what the fundraiser is about - my son, Hammy:

I've hesitated to write about Hammy (not his real name), because frankly I doubted that I could do him justice. My son is so many things, that it's hard to even begin to describe him.

He is pure, uncomplicated, unsullied and unadulterated joy. He's more intelligent than I ever imagined he'd be. His kisses are only slightly sweeter than his bear hugs, and he's affectionate with just about everyone he comes across, even in passing. His simple smile, wave and friendly "hey, how you doing?" tends to light up the room wherever he goes, inspiring even the most hard-hearted, grizzled geezers in Publix, to beam back "Hey little man, how are you?". Women fawn over him, gushing "oooo, he's so cute!" at his batting eyelashes, and curly hair.

And my son, Hammy, has Rubinstein-Taybi syndrome. The quick & dirty is this: he's got developmental delays. The un-pc version is that he's moderately retarded, and the pc version is that he's handicapable. Whatever. I told a parent of another child who has delays - I don't really care how they classify my son, if it gets him the help he needs.

And I could tell y'all how hard it's been - oh it's been hard, but that wouldn't capture all that Hammy is either. I cried for 3 days straight when he was finally diagnosed at 2 years old. I've cried many times after that - thru MRI's, CAT-Scans, GI studies and 8-hour specialist visits, thru heart & lung monitors and the probable possiblity of SIDS, thru X-Rays, a 1/2 dozen pneumonias, 3 surgeries, and a broken arm. I cried because I thought he'd never walk, never talk, and never play t-ball. And I cried when he finally ran (never did toddle) and said "mama" instead of babbling. And he's only 9 yrs old. I (in my arrogant sorrow), questioned God's motives, and asked why we - he and I had to be punished, us both being innocents.

LMAO - I can laugh about that now.

See, my son saved my life. Figuratively, because I got my life together to make things better for both of us. Otherwise, my hot (and much narrower) a$$ would probably still be in the club 2-3X/week. Literally, because were it not for him, his father and I probably would've killed each other. Or I would've killed myself.

So, how do I capture Hammy? People ask me how's he doing, and I say fine (that's the answer they're looking for) but what I really want to say is "He's doing great. He's starting to form full sentences, he can count to 30, he can get himself 75% dressed without my assistance, he's been tracing his hands and drawing circles and squares (on walls - but it's so hard for me to punish him since I'm so happy that he's drawing) and while he can't tie his shoes, spell and isnt fully potty-trained, I'm really, REALLY proud of him". But I know they won't get that.

But I can tell you the most beautiful bedtime prayer I ever heard.

I put Hammy in the bed one night recently, tucked him in, turned off the light, and started to pick up his toys in the dark. And as I picked up the toys in the dark, I heard him softly say: "Good night, sun. Good night, sky. Good night, moon. Good night, stars. Good night, outside. Good night, blue. Good night, mommy"

Good night, Hammy. I love you.

"I love you too, Mommy"

Posted by saga_30311 at 09:59 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

March 13, 2005

the categories:: saga's got some 'splainin' to do...

yeah, there's a method to my madness. so to make the whole thing clear as fog:

A few more caveats - even though I'm a displaced Yankee, living in the hottness - Atlanta is all over this biyotch. I'm amazed sometimes how things go down, down hea - but that sentiment hits all categories, hence no one thang for Hotlanta. And yes, being African-American colors my perception of everything. So, all categories are painted in shades of blackness - some things more obviously than others.

Now that you've read the primer - go forth, and blogtiply. (Maybe I shoulda had a category for corn?)

Posted by saga_30311 at 10:23 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack