I'm not feeling the peen - or the brothers attached to them. It wasn't one incident that's pushed me over the edge, but their collective behavior as a whole.

what makes a "man" good?:: The glad-handing and congratulating themselves for having a "job, a car, a home and being triple D free, no Drugs, Drama, or Diseases" - as if they deserve an award for that. Ninja please - that's just the entrance fee. That doesn't make you a "good" man!

I'm sure Jeffrey Dahmer had a job, car, home and health insurance! Shyt, John Wayne Gacy was triple-D (at least until he got caught)!

polygyny, thy name is playa:: And all the discussions that accept/promote this idea of "educated, professional black male scarcity". Yes, of course men would buy into that - that fear breeds insecurities and competition for the prize: namely them. And not for anything, but the whole "the reason why a women can't get/keep a good man" latest phenom is working a particular nerve in my booty as well. Social-media approved polygyny isn't any less annoying than self-approving polygyny. In other words: just because you CAN date myriad and sundry chicks at the same time and everyone seems to be cool with it, doesn't make it acceptable behavior.

Peen - the vaginaDryer:: In other words - I'm sick of men. How sick you ask? So sick, in fact - that attractive men are like aspic or lemon juice on the vajayjay: a vagina dryer to say the least. See that attractive group of brothers over there? Oh them? Yes, they're cute - but I'd rather have a new pair of Via Spigas. Or a V-8. Or a pack of double-A's for my BOB.

So sick in fact: that If Alonzo (Training Day Denzel) walked into my house, butt-booky-a$$ nekkid, with a fresh caeser and goatee, and asked me to glaze his mustache, I'd hand him a baker's dozen of hot Krispy Kremes. That, my friends, is a whole new level of jaded and bitter, even for me.

The new Peter Pan:: It's as if there's this new breed of men, that possess incredible self-centeredness. So self-indulgent, in fact, that although they "know" that they're treating the women in their lives badly, they have no knowledge or understanding of the depths of this mistreatment - or the impact. There are levels, my friends - and these brothers have hit behavioral rock-bottom, without understanding it. Their insecurities show themselves as arrogance combined with selfishness, and we count it all self-confidence. Blah!

In their minds, they are so compelling, so awesome, so "together" in all other categories: career, appearance, education, intelligence, creativity, talent, looks or success - that they're 'allowed" to be completely self-indulgent and so narcisstic that it damages anyone that comes into contact with them. They're allowed, because men are scarce, and good men are even scarcer, and we're all "adults", and there are no commitments, so no one should get hurt, right?

These are the brothers that cheat, then blame their woman's lack of sexual expertise for not keeping them at home. These are the brothers who refuse to commit, blaming their harem for not being the "right woman" - when in fact, they never got to know any of the harem on more than a superficial level.

Joysticks:: All these Peter Pans - self-indulgent, refusing to mature and grow-up, Toys-R-Us "good men" are just joysticks. They're good to play with for short periods of time, and they look good inside the box. Hell, if once you break the box open and really put them to work (er, horizontally that is?) - they may even bring a great deal of joy...lol.

...but after a couple of turns at the game, they break or come up short.

They're lacking in moral character, they're lacking in values, they're lacking in all the areas that truly make a man "good". Or even if they're not completely lacking - they rarely spend enough quality time with a woman to show her. Or are secure enough to invest in her.

I know I've thrown in the towel and said I'm done many times here before. The difference, this time, is that I've already got some time in, chilling. And chilling has become more appealing than dating. And that's more than a little scary.

From Fame Game (more on that later), an excerpt of an interview with Erin Callan, the former CFO of Lehman Brothers, on becoming a Wall Street Celebrity:

What mistakes did you make? You can’t be naive about the press. I had a lot of positive exposure but didn’t recognize the opportunity for significant negative exposure. Exposure becomes celebrity, and you get a persona. That persona got away from me and the firm. There were so many pieces to it, not least of which was the phenomenon of a woman CFO on Wall Street.

And Fame Game's take on this?

Any PR person (or famehungry microcel) knows you have to have a persona. People don’t have time to get to know you and understand your context and personality. They have time to look at a picture of you and a headline, and then they generate a web of inferences that informs their idea of you, or, more accurately, “you.” Yet this description of the process is brief and incredibly clear. You get “exposure,” and then follows “celebrity,” and then you get a “persona.” If you were consciously playing the game you would have figured out your persona first, then set about seeking the requisite exposure to become a celebrity.

Velly intellesting.....

Oh, and about Fame Game - a word (or some words rather) from their founders:

FAME GAME is a rapidly-growing website that maps and analyzes your social connections and media attention to help you promote meaningful ideas, people, and organizations in culture. FAME GAME creates public-facing “social network” profiles for the 150,000+ most visible players in the New York media based on their cultural footprint.

From my cursory glance - FameGame appears to include featured profiles (celebrities), parties, projects, pictures and pr (news and editorial mentions) and along with the typical social networking aspects - it "ranks" people based on these characteristics (mostly on exposure). Their site also includes a blog, with editorial pieces such as Eric Callan's interview excerpt.

ok, but I digress. This idea of persona -> exposure -> celebrity extends far beyond the "famous" or celebrities.

We've all heard the adage about "first impressions". But how many of us manage our "persona" before those first impressions are made? And do we understand that we're always "on", always exposed and that this moment (and every moment that follows this) is an exposure leading to our "version" of celebrity?

Maybe I just missed the boat - being a nerd, I've had more than my fair of schlep in me of late, but.....

I've been fairly busy of late, primarily due to some work I've done in a semi-academic setting. I worked really hard academically, primarily to absorb as much information as could be crammed in my unusually large head. But in the process, I inadvertently created the "persona" or a diligent, hard-working and dedicated student - which aligned quite well with the parallel persona I'd created of a diligent, hard-working and dedicated employee. In this case, it's paying off, because (while I'm semi-employed) it's helping me maintain a steady source of revenue.

And in the process, I'm creating the persona of a diligent, hard-working and dedicated entrepreneur. Did I mention I'm working for ma dayum self? Yes, I am. And I'm conscious now....NOW, before things really begin to "jump off", that I need to work on that "persona" as diligently and hard as I work on my projects.

I alluded to this before, when I talked about Branding Yo Dayum Self, but I didn't dig down deep enough or make it clear enough for even ME to get it in my own personal life. So clearly:

• To work smart at your personal brand, you have to create your persona PRIOR to getting the exposure.
  
• You have to understand that every encounter is a potential exposure
  
• You, and I mean YOU - own that persona - you OWN your personal brand
  

Every encounter, chance or no - is an exposure. Who's watching you and managing your persona?

Atlanta Area Business Fires Staff Via Text:

Facing a federal indictment in Gwinnett County, Access Business Services closed it's doors, and surprised its employees with "virtual" pink slips. Per WSB-TV, employees received notice via text messages that the company was closing permanently, and to not report to work today. However, not all employees received the messages - arriving to a box of letters explaining the firing, and elaborating by stating they "could make no comments on the delayed payroll" due to employees. One employee interviewed by WSB claimed that Access owed them $2,000, for backpay and commissions.

The telemarketing company is under indictment for telephone fraud, related to Access' business practices. Again, per WSB TV, Access sold preparatory exams for the Post Office Exam, which is problematic, because the post office isn't hiring. The court date is scheduled for next month, and the letters left for employees stated Access' closing is related to the court date.

Wow, so yeah - this is where the economy is at now? Via text message?

I hate to say I told ya so....but.....
I've been saying for a while now - that skillset you possess better be mobile, and like a nomad - you'd better be ready to pack your skillset and take it on the road. And make sure you can do what you do no matter WHO you work for....

Better yet - now would be a good time to make it do what it do for YOU. But that's another post.

Meanwhile, where have I been? Since I'm gainfully unemployed, I'm hustling. I left theGig for a better paying Gig, then got downsized. Meanwhle, I'm teaching, and freelancing, and writing and networking - anything to make the ends meet. Or preferably overlap.

I'm an entrepreneur. I'm making it do what it do for ME - but again, that's another post.

Firing via text? I might have to bust the windows out of somebody's car for that one. Real talk.

I'm going to tell this story as objectively as I possibly can, and let you - kind reader - let me know how it went. I'm curious to see if the responses will fall out along gender lines....without further ado, my date:

So, J calls me at 10:30 and asks me to meet him at Jason's Deli. Now, if you're unfamiliar, Jason's is definitely one-off from Mickey D's. I suggest a local sportsbar and he agrees to meet me at 12.

So, at 11:54 on the way there, I get a text "you're late", followed by a phone call. It's J, and he's there - and he's not feeling the location. He asks why I chose it, and I'm honest - I wanted a Smirnoff Ice with lunch. He says he doesn't drink, and doesn't go to bars...so I tell him to meet me in 3 minutes at Jason's deli.

We get there, and he's obviously nervous about the location change. "Are you okay with this...is this okay?" I smile sweetly and respond "it's fine", scanning the menuboard. No Smirnoff :-(. We ordered off the menu boards, then sat down to eat and talk.

Other highlights included:

* a discussion about how career-women approach dating, and how "career-women don't know how to act like women, dress like women and let a man be a man". He compliments me for dressing like a woman (I wore a wrap dress w/a lil cleavage, and boots).
* a discussion about who should/would wear the pants in the family (men v. women)
* a discussion about his frugality, and how he doesn't like to spend money (his words). Admittedly, he's opening biz and saving towards that effort.
* his tendency to ramble, talk for long periods and dominate the conversation (he's a litigator, so after he explained that I'll need to sometimes tap him to get him to shut up in his words, I teased him saying "it's ok - you're a litigator - it's what y'all do")
* how stakes are high for career minded professionals dating - the need to be selective about who you spend time with, etc
* how often each of us go out on dates (he's a 1-2 time/week person, me about once a week) vs. hanging out with friends (me again at once a week)
* his wanting to get to the eye doctor immediately after the date
* his plans to watch the game with his homeboy immediately after the date
* my plans to hit the bistro/club later this evening

exactly :58 minutes later, he asked "are you ready to go?" and walked me to my car.

So, I'll post my thoughts MUCH later. What do you think?

So, I put together my own Top 10 list. Note that my counting is horrible....it may be more than 10, or less. Let's say ten is approximate, shall we? Antywho, without further ado, and in no particular order....

1. Ice skating/Fountain dipping in Centennial Olympic park:: depending on the season, the whether, the time of day, etc - Centennial Park can be one of the most romantic date destinations in Atlanta. And it's inexpensive. Skating's about $9, fountain dipping is free. They've always got events going on here, from Wind Down wWednesdays, to Fireworks. But for a great date IMHO, go when it's sorta late, the families/kiddies are in the bed, and just enjoy the lights, the scenery and the night with your special someone.


2. Jazz at the High Museum:: Here again, the High always has events happening, from particpatory art classes, to High Tea. But the Friday nigh Jazz at the High is a sure winner. You can tour the museum in the evening, while sipping wine and taking in the featured musician's music - which changes with each event. Typically this is held the 3rd Friday of each month, but check their event calendar for details: High Museum of Art.


3. Blues at Blind Willie's:: If the High is too Highbrow, this is for you. Yes, I said it. Blues at Blind Willie's. Now, before you break out some cheap whiskey and turn the blue light on - a date took me here on a Saturday night after martini's at Imax, and the crowd was more lively than rowdy, more couples than singles, and more...er....mature than otherwise. The band is tight, and given a whiskey with a beer back, you'll be singing along and dancing to the blues in no time. And honestly - wouldn't you like an excuse to put your head on his shoulder or your arm around her waist to pull her close?


4. Martini's at Imax:: January 2, 2009 starts their new season, so if you're interested, you're in for a treat. Martini's at Imax features a 4 piece band playing sorta jazzy-swingy tunes, a bar, light hor d'oueurves and of couse, the Imax movies. So, you can do the Foxtrot, get a bite to eat/drink and watch a movie - all at the same venue. I guess this would fall at midbrow - somewhere between the High and Blind Willie's, so attire is definitely come-as-you-are, but bring your dancing shoes ;)


5. Salsa at Havana: Need to get your sexy back? Then what could possibly be sexier than this? My first encounters with salsa were via Kaya in the 90's, but now people are returning to dance everywhere, and Salsa ATL is offering classes before their salsa night at Havana. This is held the 2nd Saturday of every month, but for more information you can head directly to the Salsa Havana Atlanta website, or just check for other events at Salsa Atlanta.


6. the Georgia Aquarium:: Yeah, I know I know....kiddies. They're almost unavoidable during the day. Hows-n-ever, occasionally the Aquarium has events put together by grownups and for grownups, such as AquaVino. So keep an eye on the Aquarium's calendar for their next event.


7. Paint By Numb3rs:: We came across Art on 5 one night after leaving a club (wack) and I really enjoyed their Paint By Numbers event. Here's the premise: in the Art on 5 gallery, an artist creates a huge canvas with a paint by numbers motif. For your $10 admission, you get music (hip-hop/r&b/neo-soul), ambiance (gallery) and the opportunity to help fill in the canvas. Pick a number, pick up your paint, and have at it. They also feature food vendors, a cash bar, and lots of fun people. This IMHO is hot, and I just hope people come out to support it.


8. Play Date Atlanta:: My friends have been raving about this, so I'm looking for an opportunity to go. So, do you miss playing Connect Four, Twister and Scrabble. You want to be competitive alongside your date, or maybe find a new friend? Then Play Date Atlanta's your spot. It combines games, both boardgames and pool/card games with great food, great friends, great music - so you can have a great time. This is organized by the same folks as Paint By Numb3rs (creative folks, aren't they?) so I believe this is hot!


9. Dinner, the Remix:: Ok, let's say you just GOTTA do dinner (and maybe a movie) but you want an off the beaten-path dining spot? How about the Imperial Fez for Morrocan food (extra spicey!), fire-breathing and belly dancing? Or Latin Black & White night at Amore Restaurant? Maybe dinner theater at Agatha's? Or dinner in the theater at Fork & Screen in Buckhead. There are plenty of venues that add an entertainment bonus that are more fun than dinner at Applebee's...


10. Finally, Wine/Drinks and...:: I have some favorite sipping spots, and their favorites not just because the food/wine is good, but because they usually have some sort of entertainment - typically music or political action/intellectual discourse/spoken word events. So, the short list includes: Vino Libro, Apache Cafe, P'Cheen's, et. al.

These are just ideas. I date, a lot (this is an unfortunate truth, although I have fun, I'm looking forward to being homeward bound with a special boo. but I digress...) so I've been inundated with the dinner & a movie/D&B proposal. But to me, dating should be about sharing parts of yourself with someone else, and vice versa. It's impossible to do that if you're always doing the same drab routine stuff with the potential partner. So...get off that beaten path. Teach your date some things about you and allow them to share things with you....it's SO much more fun....

...and then you can move on to weekends at Tybee Island, or a getaway to Puerto Rico....but that's another post...

]]> http://sagaciously.net/blogs/archives/2008/12/dating_psa_12_t.html http://sagaciously.net/blogs/archives/2008/12/dating_psa_12_t.html dating Thu, 18 Dec 2008 12:48:57 -0500


www.flickr.com




saga_30311's NBAF Winter Ball photoset




Highlights::


• Performances by global beatbox champions HeaveN, Beat Bunchies, & SmVy, Iodine, Africano as well as Ballethic.
  
• donning "creatively formal attire" and seeing the hip hop generation all grown up and cleaned up nice
  
• watching Boris Kudjoe rub his wife's back gently as they met & greeted (now that's love ;)
  
• the torch of "activism" being symbolically passed from Cornel West to Big Boi
  
• Rashan Ali and Kenny Burns impromptu jokes
  
• Collective Renaissance Guild pulling this off quite nicely.
  

Did you know there was a "hip hop, Gen-X elite? Well, now you do ;)


]]> http://sagaciously.net/blogs/archives/2008/12/pics_from_the_n_1.html http://sagaciously.net/blogs/archives/2008/12/pics_from_the_n_1.html about me, sagaciously Mon, 08 Dec 2008 21:02:15 -0500

....sounds sexy...


]]> http://sagaciously.net/blogs/archives/2008/11/the_art_of_chan.html http://sagaciously.net/blogs/archives/2008/11/the_art_of_chan.html african-american Sat, 15 Nov 2008 23:03:09 -0500 Yep, this is the companion piece to dating PSA #9 - Be Cool. Go back and read it if you haven't.

Ok, y'all know I'm an MBA, right?

What you don't know is that my MBA is from a really good Business school (as part-time public B-schools go). Which means that there are some personal traits/characteristics that have to be present (and are heightened while pursuing the MBA) in that student in order to even make it into the B-school, let alone be successful.

And you're wondering what those are...?

Excellent analytical abilities, creativity and IMHO the ability and ambition to look at things from a high-level perspective - to see outside your own immediacy and take an objective view - which is in essence the ability to distance yourself from people/things...amongst other qualities....

...which makes me the ultimate in aloof and critical when it comes to relationships, n'est pas?

Yep. Cold.

So, I was comparing notes with a bachelor friend of mine who is, er, struggling with commitment (that's probably putting it mildly). He's not afraid of commitment per se, but more wondering (like me) - er - why commitment, given so many dating options? And the thing we have in common is that we're aloof. Cool, even. And maybe actually Cold - as in Arctic Tundra. Brrrrr......
I'm not gonna go over why commitment is good again - I talked about the benefits of marriage a while ago. Let's talk about being TOO cool....

being the dumper:: it's hard, because I meet a lot of perfectly nice, chivalrous guys who are a decent catch for some women, but just not right for me. Now, we still live in Atlanta, and I'm still 40+, so getting dumped by a black woman, when there are eons of black women just waiting to be chosen (let the men in Atlanta tell it) doesn't sit well with the average guy. At all. I hate to hurt a guy's feelings and I try not to intentionally pick them apart, but it does make things uncomfortable. Specially when they have gold teeth...but that's a whole other episode...

So, yeah - when ur dating a guy and suddenly he stops calling or stops acting interested and nothing "happened" - chances are, he probably just "wasn't that into you".

being the dumpee:: I truly struggle with getting into anyone, so usually this one is 'easy' - more like "Next!" But that, my friends, is a problem. Because it feels like with every ____ (insert date/relationship/episode) that goes nowhere, I'm even less likely to get emotionally involved than I was the last time. So even MORE arctic breezes here.

That ISH has gotten old, fast.

But wait, there's more - when I DO find someone that I like, that gets past the initial phases, etc - and THAT person dumps me, I take it really hard. REALLY hard. As in: "does he NOT know what he just gave up?" And rebuild the ice walls around my heart.

Note: I really should take my own advice more often, but let's get to the point....

and the cheese stands alone:: even if you're the ultimate playa, there's a whole host of things that random dating doesn't allow/nurture. Like, traveling to exotic locations with a SO (significant other). Or, having a shoulder to cry on when things fall apart. Or, relying on your SO's benefits plan, or having 2 incomes, or the support system that an SO brings to the table.

The honest truth is Mr. Freeze-like. It gets lonely out here. Even if your dance card is constantly full, you're still constantly swimming in the shallow end of the pool. And sometimes you're gonna look longingly at the deep end. Floating is cool, but so is deep sea diving. And lap swimming. And surfing, and para-sailing. And that's impossible to do in 3 ft of water.

I've had frostbite. I have been/can be the coldest, most aloof person. People accuse me of being anti-social, or saditty, or conceited, etc, but honestly - I'm numb. Aloof. But I've also realized that's not a good thing. At all.

I'm just beginning to thaw out. It's painful. Cold water stings a little (superficial relationships do tend to leave a little pain behind - no matter how much you try to convince yourself otherwise). Warm air stings a lot ('cause if you let the ice that surrounds your heart melt even a little, that leaves the heart exposed to the elements, right?). Warm/Hot water flat out hurts like no other...and no amount of blankets, hot cocoa, or compresses really alleviates that pain. They're simply a distraction, temporarily.

You can choose the hot water, sure - but that's your choice. I'm choosing cool, and slowly turning up the heat, both to minimize the pain, and ensure that whatever it is that's melting my ice is worthy of the pain/effort.

Oh yes - I intend to remain thawed out.

]]> http://sagaciously.net/blogs/archives/2008/11/dating_psa_11_f.html http://sagaciously.net/blogs/archives/2008/11/dating_psa_11_f.html Fri, 14 Nov 2008 23:06:53 -0500


Every time I think about this, I have to fight tears. I love this part of the speech, when Barack Obama came out with his family. I love that he thanked, gratefully, his wife Michelle for being the rock in his life, and promised his daughters a puppy to take to the White House.

Every time I think about this, it's hard for me to separate this from what it means for the rest of us. I know a lot of people suggest that this historic event transcends race, but that doesn't prevent those of us that share the complicated effect race has on us of thinking about what this means historically. The firehoses, the poll taxes and literacy tests, the dogs and sit-ins. We've come a long way. But we've got a way to go.

Ascension, yes. It's a victory on many levels. But now the real work begins and we have this shining example, this beautiful family, this strong, intelligent, eloquent, cool, collected, graceful man, and his equally strong, intelligent, elegant, gracious wife as examples of both the potential we as a people possess, and the opportunities that are afforded and available to any of us.

It's time for the rest of us to ascend.

]]> http://sagaciously.net/blogs/archives/2008/11/ascension_obama.html http://sagaciously.net/blogs/archives/2008/11/ascension_obama.html politricks Wed, 05 Nov 2008 22:04:42 -0500 I couldn't take it anymore. I tried to post a comment myself, and it took me a few minutes...lol.

Comments are still subject to approval (I've received 6 junk comments in the last 4 minutes - damn those spiders). Meanwhile - feel free to leave me love! :-D

]]> http://sagaciously.net/blogs/archives/2008/10/recaptcha_is_go.html http://sagaciously.net/blogs/archives/2008/10/recaptcha_is_go.html Wed, 29 Oct 2008 22:07:51 -0500 d'ya think Joan of Ark had a boyfriend? Yanno, before she got burned alive at 19 yrs old?

I want you to repeat after me, and say this out loud: "Me, first."

Not "me, too' or "me, eventually." Say it again: "Me, first."

Yes, I take my own advice:: Now let me just preface this by saying that some of these posts are directed squarely back at me...lol. I stay busy. I/m the proverbial type-A-er, with too much on my plate, and always running 100mph. Cup overfloweth, plate stays full. But I've learned, by trial and error, to put myself first. Despite my child's special needs, the demanding job, the non-profit work, my grown child's request, the friend's demands, and the random stuff that pops up in everyday life. Even as I'm making moves, I still remember that I come first.

motherhood != selflessness:: (wow that was the geek version, for laymen motherhood does not equal selflessness)...even though a lot of us come with that kind of baggage. I used to be that kind of mom....that thought they only way I could be a good mom was to continuously sacrifice, and basically always put my child first, no matter what. But no child should be subjected to thinking that motherhood runs on guilt/angst alone. And that's exactly what I was teaching my child. I mean really - selflessness does incur a lot of debt in the person/people you're sacrificing for (unless they're really heartless). It's a heavy burden to bear. A better lesson is to teach a child about balance and to understand that they're truly loved, without martyring (yes, that is a word now) yourself as a parent.....

speaking of martyrs:: isn't this sorta the anti-sexy? I mean really - let's think about them for a second. Was Ghandi married? Did Joan have a suitor? Did Mother Theresa have a secret admirer we weren't aware of? Yes, I know that's shallow (and marginally disrespectful - sorry) - but the point has to be made. If you're dating, and you're constantly putting EVERYTHING ahead of you, martyr-syndrome may be affecting you. Perception is everything, and if you make yourself appear selfless and low-priority, then anyone interested in you will follow suit.

Wondering why you got stood up? Or why that guy isn't asking you out? Well - you appear to be sacrificing yourself and everything that's important to you, to be with this person. Is that even remotely appealing?

a concrete example: when I was involved with the drama with FL, I sacrificed EVERYTHING to try and make things work. Friends, family, social circle, activities. Everything. And the more selfless I became, the more he walked all over me. And when I hit bottom, when I was literally LACKING self, he resented me.

Me, first:: Isn't just about putting yourself first, though. That is a start. But you also have to take care of yourself, first. You have to know who you are, first. You have to get yourself together (inside and out) first. To truly find endless love and eternal happiness (or even a Sunday morning love, and fleeting happiness) - you have to be very VERY comfortable with you, first.

I looked at a picture of a colleague of mine, and she just beams, yanno? Highbeams constantly. She glows, not just because she's beautiful (she is) but also because she is cool with herself. (note to self: i really should tell her that. no homo.)

So, yes. Have-it-all, and do-it-all. Be Superwomen/Supermen. Save the earth, cure cancer, be a role model for your children and the best parents you can be. Do all those things that improve your schools, your community, and your lives. Leave your mark on the world. But don't forget.....

Take care of yourself, first. And that One (if they truly are the one) will love and appreciate you all the more for it.



]]> http://sagaciously.net/blogs/archives/2008/10/dating_psa_10_m_1.html http://sagaciously.net/blogs/archives/2008/10/dating_psa_10_m_1.html relationships Wed, 29 Oct 2008 19:08:39 -0500 If u weren't aware, Hitch is one of my favorite movies. Against my will, I am a fan of romantic comedies - particularly since my dating life provides so much comedic fodder. So if I reference some obscure Hitch-ism you're unfamiliar with, take a look at movies quotes from Hitch.

cool: \ˈkül\ - marked by steady dispassionate calmness and self-control; marked by restrained emotion and the frequent use of counterpoint; very good, excellent, fashionable, hip.

Sometimes we as women just want to jump in, face first.

I mean, honestly - the dating situation can be challenging. And depending on which magazines you read, or media BS you buy into, dating times are hard, and the situation is well-f@#ked. So really - who can blame a chick for being a little, er - frantic? But let's not all wild out here and act desperate.

I cannot tell you how many of my guy friends complain about women getting too into them too early in the dating game. One great date, one excellent conversation, or a random orgasm between friends, and they're registering at Target. Or, more often, getting VERY demanding about time spent together, other women, or full disclosure.

Here's some tough love - one great date only equals one great date.

Be cool...just relax....let it marinate for a second.

Dating is a process, much like getting a job. If your ultimate goal is to find someone special, then it should be just as painful, and more lengthy,than finding a really great job....


1. circling the want ad:: seeing that certain someone that catches your eye
   
2. contacting the hiring manager:: exchanging contact information
   
3. Pre-interview screening:: initial conversations
   
4. 1st interview:: 1st date
   
5. 2nd interview:: 2nd date
   
6. Panel interview:: meeting the friends
   
7. Meeting the management team:: meeting the family
   
8. 90-day probation ends:: having "the" convo about where the relationship is heading
   
9. getting tenure:: closing the deal <<<here's where the Target registration should begin
   

Now, I'm not saying the timeline should necessarily be long - some folks get to number 9 quicker than others. But I am suggesting that skipping a few steps could lead to you being stuck in a dead-end job that's going nowhere or working with someone who is unbearable.

To quote Steve Harvey, women should really date like men. (In my best Steve Harvey voice) "Spend time gettting to know this person. Figure out if this person even wants a relationship. Find out if this person really even likes you and not just your cookies. Women will spend countless hours doing investigative work to determine whether there's some other chick on the side, but then they won't spend any time figurin' out if they're compatible with the person they're dating. Women kill me with that..."

Yeah Steve - they kill me too. But we should really embrace this Hitch-ism right here: Life is not the amount of breaths you take, it's the moments that take your breath away. We should really take some time to enjoy those moments when they come.

My lil anecdote:: I've been having some Hitch-like dates/days. So, I met a guy (#1), and he is great. On paper, the resume is tight. In person, he's intelligent and charming. Hows-n-ever, we're just hanging out, so it's SO not serious and I refuse to fast track this dude against his will, yanno?

So - I'm seeing other people. I went out with Guy #2, and we had a good time. He's a decent guy. But on the way home, I stopped by a local bistro/club to hang out a bit. Some wine, some music, some conversations with guys I'm not dating...and who did I run into there? .....Yes, Guy #1. And much as I wanted to plant one on him in the middle of the club when he hugged me....

Be cool.

...I hugged him back. Engaged his brothers charmingly. And exited gracefully when I noticed his eye lingering on another chick in the club. Far be it from me to undermine my own elegance by calling him on it.

Classic. It couldn't have been any more Hitch-y if I had written it. And I'm patting myself on the back (a lil) for being cool.

Note To E: much love. You know why ;).

]]> http://sagaciously.net/blogs/archives/2008/10/dating_psa_9_be.html http://sagaciously.net/blogs/archives/2008/10/dating_psa_9_be.html relationships Sun, 26 Oct 2008 13:04:20 -0500 I might have to put my lust for Keith Olbermann aside temporarily - so I can cheat on him with John Stewart. I <3 this dude....

....egg-friggin-zactly!

]]> http://sagaciously.net/blogs/archives/2008/10/who_the_fk_is_t.html http://sagaciously.net/blogs/archives/2008/10/who_the_fk_is_t.html politricks Sat, 25 Oct 2008 11:11:01 -0500 Well, not your actual vote. That's probably illegal - somewhere ;)

But you can post that you've already Voted!

Given the voter registration issues that have already been raised, and the issues everyone's anticipating - early voting shouldn't just be an option for some of us. It should be mandatory for all of us. We need to ensure that we don't ALL wait until November 4th, just to find out a lot of us aren't eligible because of registration flubs. Vote now and find out now!

I voted yesterday. It took me 90 minutes, was orderly and quiet. No tempers flared, people were excited about the election. That's what the voting process should look like.

Vote NOW! Check http://www.earlyvoting.net to find out whether/not your state offers early voting, or contact the Secretary of State's office in your state. Or Google "early voting" along with your state, and chances are the first link will be the instructions for your state.

Yes, I live in Georgia, and Georgia's information can be found here: Georgia Early Voting Instructions.

Encourage your friends to do the same. If you've VOTED?: BLOG IT! TXT IT! TWIT IT! POST IT! and pass the word on!

]]> http://sagaciously.net/blogs/archives/2008/10/voted_blog_it.html http://sagaciously.net/blogs/archives/2008/10/voted_blog_it.html Thu, 16 Oct 2008 08:33:34 -0500